Random Stuff! Part Three!

a small ramble by dalvie

* this is kinda a short story / poem *

hi

i'm dalvie and I'm asian

that may not mean a lot to you, but it really means a lot to me 

from when i was a little kid, i knew that i wanted to be something in the entertainment business. either a singer or an actress or something like that.

i grew up in a world where people told me that "i could reach the stars" and "raise the bar"

and i believed them

when i was a kid, i could be anything

i could be an astronaut or a basketball player or an archeologist

basically anything i wanted

as i grew older, however, i learned the world didn't work that way

there's racism

there's sexism

there's a lot of bad things that really shouldn't be issues, but they are

as i grew older, i realised that i couldn't be anything i wanted

i was confined to a box of choices

good choices, no doubt, but still not my own choices

i've heard a lot of things about my career plans of becoming a director or an actress or a singer or possibly all three

"asians aren't meant for that"

"you're never going to make it"

"no one will want to watch a movie with an all asian cast"

"who wants to buy you? asians just aren't...like that"

"just because another minority gets a movie doesn't mean yours will"

and it hurts

it hurts a lot

i see these powerhouse minority actresses and actors who come from humble backgrounds to winning oscars

i see amazing singers who break the stereotypes and look flawless

and yet

they aren't me

what if i can never tell my story? what if society will always be this way?

what if i won't make it?

it's quite a high probability

i mean do you usually see asian women who aren't japanese or chinese schoolgirls? asian actors who don't do kung fu? asian filmmakers getting any recognition at all?

and also with latinos

and african americans