Holding on ( a ziam fanfic)

Chapter twenty seven

Liam's p.o.v

How can you have enough time to say goodbye to the one thing that makes you happy? The only love you'll ever know? The reason you get up every morning, I have to say goodbye because there's nothing I can do, we're finished. I opened my eyes as something warm went around my waist and I just- please be Zayn.

"Liam, you awake babe?" his voice was rough against my skin but felt wonderful and I could get used to this, would love to get used to this, us. But-

"Leeyum I love you" those words just peeled my eyes open for me and forced me to see this stunning man in front of me, this man who made me so happy and now he's getting married. My hand moved by its own accord to touch Zayn's face, that face that I've always loved with his expressions and the cute furrow in his eyebrows.

"Zayn, don't say-" he stopped me with a delicate finger silencing what I was about to say.

"I love you Liam, only you-I know I-I am not perfect and I can't p-promiss we won't fight because we will and y-you might regret choosing me but I'm begging you to stop this wedding" he whispered as he sat up grabbing me with him so that we were both leaning against the pillows but facing eachother. He can't be serious, I can't stop a wedding! It's on national television, the world will know about us. They'll see what we did and how- they'll see I fell in love with a man and that's not allowed. I did though, I fell in love with a man and he's the greatest man I've ever  met, I'm so damn happy we got this little time to be together.

"I can't Zayn- it's too much I just can't do it" the stupid stutter made me tighten my fists into the bed sheets. so that I would distract myself from Zayn's downcast eyes.

"Say it"

I looked up at him hating that he was looking down at his hands with a fist. clenching at the hem of his shirt, a habit he had when he was upset. He shouldn't be upset but I can't help it.

"Say what Zayn?"

"You still love me. Right? Um what you said last night you meant it? I- because if it was the other way round I'd be ruining the wedding before it even started. You don't- don't regret me do you?" I felt my skin turn cold. Too cold.

"Never. Zayn don't you ever say that! I could never regret you, that's just-crazy. I wouldn't ever feel like I regretted you. I do love you, love you so much babe and I meant everything I said yesterday. Stop thinking like that just stop" it came out angry, harsh and he looked up with that pouty lower lip jutting out, so beautiful.

"I'm yours yeah? You know that Li. No matter what, I just want you to promise me that you'll always love me like I will always love you.Don't stop the wedding if you can't but you would be saving us, saving me and does that mean something to you? We can be together then, you know just me and you. That's all that matters babe" he was shaking but he never looked away from me. Never once looked at me in disgust, regret or disappointment, he just looked hurt and that was just so painful.

"I wish I c-"

"Hey shh, it's okay Liam. It's fine yeah? I know you can't. It's fine just kiss me?" he smiled, just grinned like before, without the hurt clouding up his vision or the wet lashes that streaked against his cheeks. A kiss is the least I could do.

I had to get up, had to begin to get ready for the day ahead and I know it's the beginning of a nightmare. Zayn remained in bed, his eyes clenched shut as he lied down with my pillow next to him. As I stepped out of the shower I managed to slip a towel around my waist even though my body was shaking, limbs weak because even though I knew that this, this was real. It just can't be real, me and him can't be over like that. Zayn was asleep as I walked over to his huddled figure, hidden beneath the grey comforter which contrasted deliciously with his golden skin. Is this really how it ends? I know I'm far from perfect and what me and Zayn have isn't the fairytale ending but if it's true love then why the hell not?