Conflict (sequel)

Chapter 19 | Thoughts

I suck lol. Apologies (again) for my disappearance. School has been throwing a lot of tests at me. I want to graduate and leave this stupid school so I didn't write for a while :(

Corrections and feedback are appreciated :)

This chapter is a mess but so is Asami so all is good lol

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The smell of decay spread over the battlefield. Asami didn't smell the horrid scent, she couldn't. Instead, she could only see where the smell was coming from. The field was littered with hundreds of dead bodies. The already abominable sights from before were nothing compared to this.

Asami was alone. The former Hokage already quickly joined the fight against Madara upon arriving. The Uzumaki did not. She was scared, sick with worry. If anything, she just wanted to go back to the cabin in the woods. She wanted to go home, and she wanted Madara go to with her.

Asami grew up in a time of war, but it made her sad that things also had to end in a period of violence.

She didn't want to fight Madara, and she wasn't going to. Asami also knew that Hashirama wasn't expecting her to do so. Even with her immortal body, she wouldn't be much of a help anyway. Her feelings for him would hinder the ability to think clearly, to move without holding back. Facing him with hostile intentions was already an impossible task for Asami.

His actions and lies from the past bothered her, but how many people did Asami fool when she 'mysteriously' disappeared. Lying and betraying was something she did as well. So it only bothered her, but she couldn't hate him for it.

So was she on Madara's side?

No.

But she couldn't say that she was on the side of the Allied Shinobi Forces either.

Asami had been switching sides, but she just couldn't choose only one. She cared for the people on both sides, so being a neutral party was no option. She was only telling lies again, giving both sides the impression that she was trustworthy, that they could count on her.

Asami pursed her lips in frustration. She was a mess, created a mess and she had no idea how she should explain it if she was confronted with her ugly lies.

So now, she was fighting the replicas of the Ten-Tails, the miniature clones of itself, while hoping that this war could somehow end peacefully. But she knew the truth very well. There was no way that Madara would surrender, and Hashirama and Tobirama wouldn't either.

This was a battle to the death, it was like that from the start. Asami could deny it as much as she wanted, but the inevitable end only drew closer. Either way, she'd return to the Pure Land. She'd be reunited with Kouta, no matter how this war was going to end. There was no good or bad ending for her in this. The only things she wished for was peacefulness, and she was going to get that back no matter who was going to win.

Asami felt selfish for thinking this way, for making it seem that she actually only cared about how it was going to end for her. She felt conflicted, upset, powerless. She had no influence over this war whatsoever. Her decisions wouldn't change anything, her actions wouldn't make this war have a different outcome. So even if she actively supporting one side, what difference would it make?

Wasn't it just better to put herself first while caring for her dear ones? How she wished she could do something for them. For Madara and Hashirama, without insulting the other. Standing next to Madara's side now would disappoint Hashirama, but standing on Hashirama's side would anger Madara. 

Would anything she'd do be appreciated by both sides?

Asami bit the inside of her cheek as she sealed another one of the monsters away. She hated being in this position. She wanted to be released from this burden, freed of her worries and frustrations.

She wanted to live up to their expectations, but making one of them happy meant disappointing the other.

Madara expected her to wait for him, and Hashirama expected her to fight for the Allied Shinobi Forces.

Asami didn't even know what she was thinking anymore. Her head was one big mess, her thoughts contradicting and her feelings indefinable.

What was she even doing?