goody two shoes ≫ supernatural ✔

the holiest of sarcasm

"What? Who's gone? Sam?" I ask, looking around the hotel room after Dean said it was okay for me to join him in there. There's a confused looking man standing in the middle of the room, and I don't recognize him. "Dean, who's he?"

"I'm George." The man says. "Who are you?"

"That's not important, George." Dean says, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge and handing it to the man. "Do you remember anything?"

"No. I was driving home from work, and then ... well, then I woke up here." George says, rubbing his head and taking a swig from the bottle.

"See, George..." Dean slowly starts to lead him out of the hotel room. "This is why you don't pay for cheap strippers." He pats him on the back and then quickly shuts the door behind him, and we watch George walk away.

"What? There were no strippers here, Dean." I am also now confused.

"No. That black fog you saw leave the door? Do you know what that was?" Dean asks.

"No." I say, crossing my arms.

"It was a demon that had taken over that George dude's body. He can't know the truth. What I told him was better than the truth." Dean says. "Now focus, we have to find Sam."

"We?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Do you truly think I can help you?"

"You're gonna. You're all I have right now." Dean sighs, looking around the room.

I stifle a laugh. "Okay, Dean .... but just so you know, if it had been you that went missing, I would not help find you." I point a finger at him and he gives me a dirty look.

"Just shut up, Eddie." He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "I have to call in some help."

I expect him to reach for his phone, but he just plops himself on the edge of the bed and stretches out his arms. "What are you doing?"

"Stretching."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because, my arms need a stretch after driving, okay?" Dean rolls his eyes again.

"I thought you were gonna call for help. You look like you're getting ready to take a nap." I laugh.

"Shut. Up. Eddie." Dean gives me another glare, then calls out: "CAS! Get your feathery angel ass here!"

"What?" I look at him. Is there another brother I don't know about? And then all of a sudden, a man appears in front of us, clad in a beige-ish trench coat and rumpled shirt and tie.

"I know who took him already, Dean." The man says, in the most disinterested voice I have heard.

"What." I blink a few times. Okay, this world is seriously weird. "Who are you?"

The man in the coat turns towards me and blinks, now just noticing me. "Oh, hi. I'm Castiel, Angel of the Lord."

"Oh." I look over at Dean, who just nods. "Oh, okay. That's cool. I, uh, I'm Eddie Mayville, teacher of the ... uh, McKinley High history department."

Castiel nods. "Interesting." He then turns back to Dean. "So, back to Sam. I know who took him."

"Who was that demon, Cas?" Dean asks, crossing his arms and leaning back onto the headboard of the bed.

"You didn't recognize her?" Castiel asks, mimicking Dean's motion with his arms.

Dean rolls his eyes. "No, Cas. Remember there's this thing that demons do, where they like to take over multiple different bodies? Not everyone can see through that like you can."

"I'm sensing sarcasm, Dean, and it is unappreciated, since I am helping you." Castiel gives Dean a look.

Dean groans. "Okay, Cas, get the stick out from your ass, please. Now who was the demon?"

"I can't believe you didn't recognize her." Castiel shakes his head. "It was Ruby."

Dean raises an eyebrow. "Ruby? Isn't she in Hell?"

"Obviously not, as she was here, and hid Sam away somewhere." Castiel states.

"Okay, Captain Obvious, thank you." Dean shakes his head. "How did she get out of Hell?"

"I don't know that." Castiel says. "But I know it was her."

Dean sighs. "Okay. She can't be too far away. We'll have to monitor for the usual cases of a demon nearby." He looks to me, finally acknowledging me in the conversation. "Eddie, can you do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is." I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms.

"Great. Can you monitor all the local news channels and papers? Local social media feeds? Anything weird pops up, you tell me, okay?" Dean points a finger at me. "Here's my cell number, call me if anything weird happens. Cas will be watching over you. Won't you, Cas." He jots the number down on a scrap of paper and hands it to me, while the angel just nods.

"Yes, I will 'watch' 'over' 'you'." Castiel says, making a lot of air quotes with his fingers. "But I will not actually be here, watching you, I will just monitor you to make sure nothing happens."

"Thank you for that clarification." Dean sarcastically snorts. "Now Cas, you --" The angel disappears before Dean can finish his sentence. "Yeah ... you just ... you just do your thing." He sighs and looks at me.

"So he's like an actual angel? Like from heaven? Like of God?" I ask. It's still surprising. I mean, an angel.

"Yes, yes, and yes." Dean replies. "And they're all dicks, don't get your hopes up."

"What?" I raise an eyebrow. "They're angels, Dean, they are ... you know, holy and stuff."

"Did he seem 'holy' to you, Eddie?" Dean asks.

"Well, I mean ... he seemed kind of emotionless, and had a bit of a sarcastic attitude. But I'm sure he's still holy."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Yeah, a holy pain in my ass. That holy sarcasm of his is getting old, too." He grabs his keys and coat. "And he's the nicest of them all by a long shot."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yep. Now get searching on the computer. I have stuff to do. Oh, and there's a gun under the bed. If you need it, which you might." And with that, Dean opens the door and marches out, then locks and slams it behind him. I hear the Impala drive away, so I prop myself up on the bed, which actually is quite comfortable for such a dive like this.

"Okay, now I monitor for weird things ..." I scan the news headlines. Everything on the news seems bizarre these days. How am I supposed to pick out what would be related to a demon? "Oh, this is going to be fun." I mutter, then get to work.

WOO! CASTIEL HAS MADE AN APPEARANCE! That's fun, right? Also Ruby is back? Okay, not so much fun. Oh and also, I'm not sticking to any Supernatural storyline. I'm just using characters we know and going along as I wish, so no hate, okay? Thanks for reading! Comment and vote and fill my inbox with questions about the book if you'd like!

- Madi

PS -- Hey! Just some self-promotion here. If you like the Avengers, check out my book "Elasta", and if you like The Walking Dead, check out my book "Mabel". Also, I have a cover book called "Supernova Cover Company" that is now taking requests. If you need a book cover, I'm your gal! Thanks!