Typically Me [BxB]

Chapter Thirteen

After school I decided that I couldn’t wait around any longer; I had to see Ray.

 As I walked up to his house I could hear music playing within. I went right up to the front door, rang the bell once, knocked twice and waited. The music stopped. No-one came to the door. I stepped back and looked up, just in time to catch the corner of a curtain twitch back down on the second floor.

 I bent down and opened the letterbox.

 “Ray! Open the fucking door!” I called to him.

 He sighed audibly and I got back to my feet. I listened to him come padding down the stairs, search for the key and open the door.

 “Yes, Ash?” he said to me in a bored tone. He was trying to look defiant but he couldn’t even meet my eyes.

 “Where have you been, dude? I miss you.” I asked him. He shifted from one foot to the other.

 “I’ve had a lot of stuff to do. Sorry.” he replied instantly.

 “And not one spare second to even text me? I’ve been worried, Ray.” I said. My heart was beating fast and my palms began to sweat. Why was he mad at me? What had I done wrong?

 He stood and stared at me, biting his lip. God, why did he have to be so gorgeous? Then he finally broke completely, ducking his head and running a hand through his hair. I wanted to pull him into a tight hug, never let him go, kiss him… but somehow I knew he’d just push me away.

 Just then I heard movement from upstairs and someone walking towards the stairs. The guy stopped halfway down, wearing jeans but no shirt. I recognised him instantly.

 Rylie. Ray’s ex.

 He stared at me.

 “Ray?” I whispered.

 He didn’t answer. I stared at him, but he kept his gaze low.

 “Fuck this.” I said, and my voice broke.

 Don’t you cry, don’t cry, don’t you dare cry…

 I turned on my heel and started to walk away from the house.

 “Ash,” Ray called, and I stopped but didn’t turn back to face him. “maybe we should just…”

 “Yeah, maybe we should just.” I snapped back when he tailed off, and then I ran away from his house completely. I didn’t even make it a few metres before I started to cry. I couldn’t cry in public- what the hell was this? What was I doing? I had to get my act together!

 I couldn’t. I stumbled to a stop in front of a bench on the pavement. I collapsed onto it and started howling, tears flying relentlessly down my cheeks. I put my head in my hands and cried, feeling like such a pathetic loser. A woman came over and asked if I was okay. I looked at her dismissively and she sighed and left me alone.

 After what felt like hours- and a river of tears- later I stopped crying. It was like someone had flicked a switch. It just ended. I felt dead inside. I couldn’t carry on, no matter how much I wanted to turn the river into a sea. I fumbled with my schoolbag and yanked out my zip-up hoodie, putting it on and pulling the hood up sharply. I could catch a bus home but… I wanted to walk.

 I felt strangely numb. The people that passed me weren’t real. I wasn’t really. I just had to walk, one foot in front of the other, and try my hardest not to look like my heart had just been smashed into a thousand tiny pieces. This didn’t work, though; I was stopped by numerous teenage girls who asked if I was okay. It was the one time I really hated one-tracked minds…