Chapter Five

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 “Open the door and get out my fucking way!” Ray yelled.

 I could hear him but I could see nothing. I tried to open my mouth to tell him this but it stayed clamped shut. I could feel that he was carrying me in his arms.

 “Oh my gosh!”

 “What the hell happened to him?”

 Well. That wasn’t exactly comforting.

 I heard someone clear empty glasses, bottles and cans off what I presumed to be the kitchen table so that Ray could gently put me down on it.

 “Why is there so much… blood?”

 Ray hushed everyone up and asked for ice wrapped in a tea towel and some kitchen roll. He held the paper towel to my nose and lips, so they were evidently bleeding. I could just about feel the thick blood that had welled up in my mouth trickle out the sides.

 “Ash? Can you hear me?”

 Tanya’s voice. I could picture her creeping towards me, a worried look on her face. I felt her take hold of my hand and tried to answer. My mouth stayed shut still but a low moaning sounded in the back of my throat and she squeezed my hand tighter.

 “Ash, can you open your eyes for me, baby?” she asked.

 “Baby?” Ray spat.

 “This isn’t exactly the time, Ray. Can you open your eyes, Ash, please?”

 I tried to open my eyes, I really did. It took so much effort to simply keep hold of her hand.

 Suddenly my eyes burst open.

 The world was spinning. Everything was too damn bright. The Tanya and Ray’s faces came looming into view.

 “C’mon, Ash. We’ll get you cleaned up.” Ray said.

 He struggled to pick me up, but once he did he wouldn’t let me go for anything. Dylan helped usher people out of the way as Ray carried me upstairs. He took me into a bathroom and washed the cuts. Evidently the punch to my face hadn’t been the only hit; I could feel where he had repeatedly kicked me in the stomach.

“I’m sorry… Ray…” I croaked.

 “You did nothing wrong!” he said, almost crying but half smiling.

 He cleaned my cuts and put ice against my rapidly bruising skin.

 Brad knocked on the door before entering.

 “Y’alright dude?” he asked. He actually sounded worried. Who would’ve thought that his brain was big enough to house such an emotion?

 “He’s fine. Do us a favour, Brad, bring us up some alcohol? I think we’re gonna stay out the way of the party for a while.” Ray said.

 Bradley brought us up some drinks.

 The last thing I remembered was wincing as I downed a shot of vodka.

*

 The songbirds made me feel like a frying pan was repeatedly being smashed against the side of my face. I ached all over. It was unreal. I sat up and squinted against the light of day.

 Wait a second

 I thought…

 …this isn’t my room.

 At my house- though I wished there was- there wasn’t an MCR poster on the ceiling over my bed. At my house the carpet of my room wasn’t black. At my house there weren’t magazine and newspaper articles taped up onto the bedroom wall. At my house my room wasn’t littered with empty coffee cups. My room wasn’t this big. My room had no double bed. The duvet cover wasn’t deep purple.

 At my house, I did not share my bed with someone else.

 I froze and looked at the floor.

 “Oh hell no!” I gasped.

 I got out of the bed and hunted around for my boxers, silently swearing the whole time. Then I put on my jeans but I couldn’t find my shirt.

 The person in the bed stirred. I couldn’t look at them, I just carried on searching for my shirt. I’d hooked up with some girl. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that I had been so drunk I’d forgotten about Ray and done this-

 “Ash…? Why are you in my room?”

 That wasn’t a girl’s voice

 I turned around to find Ray squinting at me from the bed. He looked like he was seeing me for the first time, not quite sure who I was or why I was there. I simply carried on looking for my shirt. It was way overheated in the room so I went over to the window and opened it. Then something caught my eye.

 “What the hell is my shirt doing outside?” I asked, more to myself than to Ray.

 “How the hell should I know?” he asked. He staggered over to where I was standing.

 “Well, I presume you’re the one who removed it.” I stated.

 “Why would I do that?” he asked me. “Apart from the fact that you’re so gosh dang ho-”

 “I beg you not to finish that sentence just yet. Look down.”

 “I’m not wearing any… Oh. We didn’t-”

 “We did.”

 “We were so dru-”

 “Yes, yes we were.”

 We both sighed simultaneously. Then he started laughing. He dived onto his bed, under the duvet, and continued laughing. I shook my head and turned my attention instead to my Converses.

 “Where are you going?” he asked me.

 “Home.” I answered simply. There was a long pause of silence, and then I heard tiny sobs coming from the bed. “Why are you crying, Ray?”

 “You regret it.” he sobbed.

 I sat down on the bed beside him.

 “It’s not that I regret it… I just regret not being able to remember it. I didn’t want it to happen this early in our relationship, I wanted us to have… I don’t know.” I said.

 He sat up and kissed me.

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