the boys i've loved and the end of the world

the boys i've loved and the end of the world #1

"the world is ending, you know."

he looks at me through tired eyes as i say it. "is that why you're here?"

i shrug. "i guess." he takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and smiles when i raise my eyebrows. "i didn't know you smoke, now," i say.

"i don't," he explains as he places one between his lips, "but the world is ending. can't get lung cancer in twelve days."

i chuckle, watch him take his first drag from his first cigarette. he coughs, and smiles at me. "i loved you, you do know that, right?"

"yeah, yeah, i know," i reply, and he takes a longer drag this time.

"you were important... an important lesson, i think."

"how so?"

"we were too young, too stupid. we were incapable of fixing the mess we'd made with our own two hands. only time could do that."

he nods, smoke filtering from his parted lips. the moon turns his black hair to a silvery blue, and i am almost caught up in how beautiful he could be, sometimes.

"how many times did you fall in love with her before you realized she would never give you what you wanted?" i ask, and he blinks, surprised by the question.

"the same goes for you," he counters, "but with me instead."

there is a comfortable silence. "twice," i say, finally, "what about you?"

"twice. and it was always after you. it was always what ruined us, again and again."

i think about this as he finishes his cigarette. "sometimes, i wonder if we could have made it. if we weren't so young," i tell him.

he nods his head, smiles. "yeah, sometimes i think about that too."

-c.h.

~

this is hands down the best series i've ever written. i hope you enjoy!