Holding Onto You

Doubt

"Wait," you whisper. you slowly walk from the kitchen to the front door. Carefully opening the door, Tyler and Josh join you. you opened the door and stepped out into harsh and cold wind. you looked up.
"No." you said under your breath. Tyler and Josh looked to where my gaze was held.
"Is that...?"
"Swirling." Josh finished for Tyler.
"No," you said, your voice starting to shake. you stepped back until you reached the door. Sounds of screams echoed in your head. "No," you said slightly louder. your breathing became heavy and fast. The screaming echoed louder. Sounds of broken glass and shrieks for help pierced your skull. you clutched your head and closed your eyes tight. you nearly fell as you reached the door.
"(y/n)," Tyler said concerned.
"(y/n), what's wrong?" Josh said worried. They rushed towards you, Josh catching you as you started to fall. you was in a void. A flashback.
****
"(y/n)! Alex!" your mother shouted. Alexis and you were playing with your dolls in the sandbox. you looked at mom in hopes to see a smiling face. Instead, you were ripped from the sandbox and rushed inside. Mom sat you on a couch in the living room. There were no Windows.
"Stay here, babies, okay? Don't leave this room," Mom looked in your eyes, then Alexis. Fear filled her eyes.
****
"Come on, we gotta get somewhere safe," you heard Tyler's voice ring.
"But the tour bus is too far! Well never make it!" Josh said, his voice shaking.
"Forget the tour bus, I know we won't make it. We gotta be safe in here. (y/n)'s passed out, so we gotta keep her safe."
****
"Mommy? What's happening?" you asked. Alexis and you were scared. Mom and Dad were panicking.
"Just, just..." tears filled your mothers eyes. She came to hug you. "We love you both so much. Never, ever forget that." you started to cry of fear.
"We love you too mommy," you said. your dad, who had never shed a tear in his life and had never spoke to you, enclosed you in a tight hug.
"I love you both so much. You mean so much to me. You brighten up my world." you cried harder to hear his voice. you hugged him back.
"We love you daddy." tears rolled down father's cheeks. As he released you, Mom and Dad spoke.
"We have no choice," Mom whispered.
"How will we make it?" dad said. They spoke for a while longer.
"Come with us, quickly babies," Mom said. you followed her to a rug. She moved the rug and revealed a door.
"When did that get there?" Alexis asked.
"That doesn't matter right now," dad said.  He opened the small door and handed you each a flashlight. He gave you your favorite teddy bear, and Alexis' favorite stuffed bunny.
"Go down there. Stay safe." he said. you started down the stairs. you stopped and looked up at them.
"What about you?"  your mother began to cry once more. She placed a hand on your cheeks.
"There is no room for us. You will be on your own. Like big girls."
"You'll be okay. Be brave. If you get scared, sing like mommy taught you." tears formed in your eyes and you nodded. you continued down the stairs with the flashlight on as dad closed the door.
"We love you two," they both said before the door closed. you could hear the sound of a train of hard wind getting louder. As you reached the bottom you heard broken glass and a scream. A scream from a voice that belonged to your mom. Another from my father's voice. Alexis and you cried. you looked at each other with a tearful face. you knew you would never see them again. Time passed and the sound of broken glass and destruction pierced your skull.
****
"She keeps shrieking like she's in pain, but there's nothing wrong," Tyler's voice said, scared.
"She won't wake up, Tyler! What do we do? I can't lose her!" Josh sounded even more scared than Tyler. He sounded like he was tearing up.
"I know. I don't know what we are going to do."
"We gotta keep her safe. There's no basement or anything?" Josh's voice panicked.
"Not that I can find. We gotta stay away from Windows," Tyler said.
****
"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a place that I've heard of once in a lullabye." your sister and you sang. you were scared. you just wanted to be home with mom and dad. But you couldn't. Alexis stopped singing. Tears flowed from her eyes. you placed your hand on hers.
"Its okay." you said. "We will be okay."
"I'm scared, (y/n)," she cried. "What if we don't make it? What if we die here?"
"We won't die, Aly," you said, using her Nick name. "We will stay alive. I promise."  Alexis stopped crying and she hugged you. you hugged her tight.
"We will stay alive."
****
you jolted up and gasped the biggest gasp you had ever taken. you was breathing like you had stopped. your vision was blurry. The only thing you felt was a tight squeeze around you.
"(y/n)! I'm so glad your okay!" Josh's voice rang. Every sound was echoed, you couldn't hear straight. your vision was blurred.
"Josh, give her some space, she needs air," Tyler said.
"Right, sorry," Josh quickly released his grip and backed away to where Tyler stood. you started to hyperventilate. you couldn't move. you could barely breathe. you couldn't see or hear. you could not speak.
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" you couldn't  move. you barely muttered,
"No...I'm.....fine." you couldn't see what Tyler did, but you had a feeling he nodded. Mom. Dad. They didn't look the same. They were different. The house was different. Alexis. She was the same. your vision started to sharpen and the sounds stopped their echoing. you looked at Josh. you was still breathing slightly heavy. Josh was worried. Concern in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked. you nodded. you could only make slow movements. As your breathing slowed, your thoughts sped. Why were mom and dad different? Why was the house different?
"Mom....Dad," you babbled. Tyler and Josh looked confused.
"(y/n)? What do you mean?" Tyler asked. They both sat next to you.
"I....I had a flashback...." you said. you stared at the Brown walls.
"Of what?" Josh asked softly. He layed his hand on yours.
"Mom. Dad. Alexis. There was a tornado." the wind outside jerked at the house. you looked out the window. you didn't see a tornado yet, but the swirling sped up.
"You can tell us in a minute," Tyler said, pulling you up. you couldn't stand, so Josh helped you. His warm hands on your waist.
"We gotta get somewhere safe," Tyler said. He was practically shouting because of the loud and strong wind. Tyler grabbed Josh's hand and Josh held onto you. you was close to his body. Tyler ducked and shrieked when one of the Windows broke, letting the glass fly in. Tyler looked at you to make sure you were okay. He has a cut across his face, blood starting to trickle. you gasped. Tyler looked away and pulled you to the other end of the  house.
"Is there a safe room, (y/n)?" he asks.
"Uh, the bathroom I think," you shouted. Tyler nodded and pulled you into the bathroom, closing the door. There were no Windows. Josh helped you to sit against the wall. He sat beside you, sitting as close as he could with your hand in his. you squeezed his hand in fear. Tyler locked the door and sat on the other side of you. you took his hand too and squeezed it. Tyler wasn't sitting as close, but he realized the situation, and scooted closer to you.
"If anything happens, just know I love you guys," you said, tearfully.
"We love you too," they said in unison. It was silent a moment.
"So...what was your flashback?" Tyler asked quietly. you looked at your shoes.
"It was....just like this. My mom brought my sister and I in the house. But my mom was different."
"What do you mean by different?" Josh asked.
"My mom and dad weren't the same people. The house was different. It wasn't the same."
"But you said you grew up in this house?" Tyler said.
"I thought I did." the wind jerked the house again, you could swear it moved.
"Wait..." you said. you grunted at another pain in your head. Another flashback. It was an image. A picture of your sister and you standing at two graves. Mom and Dad. you were orphans. Another picture. A nice couple took you in. you were so terrified, you forgot all about what happened.
"They're dead," you said, you stated blankly at the bathroom door.
"Um," Josh said.
"Not the ones that recently died. My original parents. They died in a tornado. A nice couple took my sister and I in. We were so young and so scared, we forgot all about the tornado and our real parents and the house."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," Tyler and Josh said. Josh hugged you. Tyler placed his hand on your shoulder.
"Its okay. I just don't know why I never remembered." you said. you wasn't affected by knowing this. you was numb. The wind jerked again.
"Coffee!" you shouted. you jumped up and ran to the door. Josh grabbed your arm.
"(y/n), it's too dangerous! You could get killed!" you looked at him.
"But what about Coffee? I can't lose him!"
"I'll get him," Tyler said. He went to the door and opened it. Glass and broken pictures filled the hallway.
"Tyler, no, you'll get hurt!"
"I'll be fine," he said with a smile. you couldn't help but look at the cut on his face. The blood still trickling. you was worried for him. Before you could object, Tyler ran out the door. He closed it behind him so you wouldn't go with him. Not a few minutes passed before you heard another shriek. you ripped open the door to see Tyler at the end of the hallway, on the ground. Glass surrounding him.
"Tyler!" Josh yelled. He released you and ran to Tyler, not careing about the glass he was stepping on.
"Josh! Be careful!" you said. He ignored you. When he reached Tyler, Tyler didn't move. you thought your heart stopped.
"Tyler!" Josh said as he shook him. Tyler didn't move. Josh listened for a pulse.
"I can't hear anything, the wind is too loud!" He said looking at you. your heart sank. you started to run to him. you was one step out of the door when Josh yelled.
"No, stay in there. Its too dangerous." he said. you felt a tear trickle down your cheek. you stayed in the bathroom. The wind started to quiet down. Josh tried again.
"I can't hear anything." he said. He layed his forehead to touch Tyler's. you could tell he was crying.
"If you has just let us go to the tour bus instead of staying here, this wouldn't have happened. Tyler wouldn't be hurt. We wouldn't be in this mess," he yelled. The wind was loud again. Tears flooded from your eyes.
"Josh..."
"Tyler might be dead, (y/n). This wouldn't have happened if you had let us go to the bus like Tyler said. We would have been safe." Josh's voice was sturn. your heart felt as of it had cracked. you ran to the back door that wasn't too far from me and you ran outside. Josh didn't call for you. He didn't say a word. The wind was harsh against you skin. you pushed through. you ran. you didn't know where you was going, but your legs continued to run. The bus. you would find it.
What about Josh? you thought.
Who cares? Who needs him? He scolded you. You don't need him. You are a loner. You dont need anyone. Another familiar voice said. Blurry. Blurry was after you. This was his doings. Tears rolled down your cheeks. Where would the bus even be? you pulled out your phone and decided to call the driver. He has given you His number just in case anything was to happen. He gives it to all the people who are on the bus. The phone began to ring.
"(y/n? Where are you guys? Are you guys alright?" Bryan asked. you had finally remembered his name.
"Where are you? I'm going to come find you," you said, ignoring his questions.
"I'm in a parking garage near your house. Its made of cement, so it's sturdy."
"Alright, I'm on my way," you said. you hung up before he could say anything else. you knew exactly where the garage was. your sister and you would visit it when you were bored. you walked through the harsh wind. Josh was probably still in the house.
I should go back for him. I can't just leave him. Especially since Tyler is unconscious. you thought.
He will be fine. He said It was all your fault! He blamed you! You can't just forgive him for that. He is angry with you. He doesn't want you around. He doesn't want you. Just forget about him. A voice said. What if the voice was right? What if he really didn't want you? What if he hates you now because Tyler might be dead? Its all your fault. No. you have to go back. Coffee was still in there. Tyler needs you. So what if Josh hates you now? If he hates you, he will tell you to leave. you quickly redirected your path and ran back to the house. you hadnt gone far. As soon as you reached the door, you saw Josh on top of Tyler. They formed a plus sign. Blood trickled from Josh's back. you gasped and ran to him.
"Josh! Oh my God, Josh! Please be okay, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault!" you started to cry. you kneeled next to them, your hand on josh's. you sobbed the hardest you had ever cried before. you had lost two people you loved the most. First your real parents, then your sister, then your step parents, Meg has already left college, and now Tyler and Josh.
"Why are you doing this to me?" you yelled, looking out the window. The wind was dieing down. The storm was going away. you looked down at the two boys. Blood covering them both. The blood started to cover your hand. you didn't move. you grasped their hands. your tears became painfull.

"What have I done?"