Who Says You're the One in Control?

The Right Motivation

Sans wasn't exactly asleep, but he wasn't awake either. It was almost as if any normal process besides staying alive was completely focused on his memories of Papyrus and the others.

Five minutes could have passed. Hours could have passed. Days even. He had no idea. Slowly, consciousness returned. He started becoming aware of his surroundings again.

Last he remembered, he had been leaning his back against the door to the ruins. Sometime after then, he had slid and ended up laying on the ground.

Looking beneath his head, he saw signs of tears. He felt as if he had cried his entire soul out through his eyes. He was weak and tired, but doubted he would be able to sleep.

Chara wasn't talking. Sans wasn't sure if he was glad about that or not. He was having a hard time registering anything right now.

He stood up, leaning against the door. Every centimeter of his body screamed "no". How could doing nothing hurt more than the training he had gone through?

He stumbled through the forest back towards civilization. All these puzzles. How horrible could someone be to walk straight through them? Papyrus had worked so hard on them.

Sans had thought time would help him feel better about losing his brother, but at this exact moment he felt as if Chara had just come through here yesterday.

How did people survive stuff like this? This was something Sans couldn't have wished on his worst... no.. he might have wished this on Chara. After all, they had forced it on him.

Sans' only wish now was for no one else to suffer like he was. Losing someone like Papyrus had hurt him more deeply than he could have imagined.

Undyne had fought for the dreams of everyone. Was that what it meant to be captain? To work towards fulfilling the dreams of the masses?

Undyne was into fighting. She was the kind of person who loved the idea of war. She showed off battle scars like they were pictures of her kids. Always telling stories.

Sans thought you had to be like that to be captain. Easily ready to beat the shit out of anything that seemed even remotely capable of fulfilling the goal. Maybe if he could just work towards the actual guarding monsters, he would do okay?

But how was he qualified for the job? Gerson had taught him to fight. He had killed Chara. As much of a fluke as that was. Neither of those seemed good enough. Anyone who worked hard enough could be as strong as he was.

Why had he agreed to this? He knew he had no qualifications. Why had he worked so hard? Why had he allowed himself to hope again?

He had hardly noticed he was headed for Grillby's till he was at the door. It was locked. That's right. Grillby's closed down.

Sans skipped his house. He didn't want to get more depressed, and his house was a wreak. He headed to Waterfall instead. With any luck, he can talk to Monster Kid for a while.

He looked in the usual place, but the kid wasn't there. Sans felt a little prick of sadness add to his pain. He sat on the bench in complete silence. He was utterly alone.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't think anyone would be here." Sans looked up to see a toothy, armless monster. He was surprised at how much joy that one little thing had given him.

"i was lonely anyways, wanna sit?" He offered. Over the timelines past, he had found exactly what to say to make the kid feel better.

"I don't know, mister." Monster Kid hesitated.

"i'm Sans. Sans the skeleton." Sans introduced himself as normal. "i um.. actually wanted to ask you something."

Monster Kid was baited into sitting with Sans. "What?"