spotlight. (book two of missing melody) // katy perry

epilogue.

omg im gonna be typing in a long ass speech again haha. okay. . . this insane roller coaster ride through writing spotlight will always be in my heart, and so will you. always. i love each and everyone of you for staying with me through the sequel of missing melody. all your votes and comments make me so happy even when im having a bad day. you make me feel like im actually significant and that im wanted :) ill always be thankful for that. oh and to katy, even though she doesn't know about these fics, thank you for giving me the inspiration to write. well duh, since this fic IS about her haha :) anyways, yeah thank you kate. i don't have anything more to say, really. i don't want to delay your reading so yeah. enjoy x

{Chloe's POV}

I stare at my reflection in the foggy mirror, seeing a worn out and sleepless Chloe looking back at me with her lifeless stare. I pop the pill into my mouth, getting sick of it's bitter taste rather than feeling better everytime I take my medications, well at least that's what they call it. Since that horrifying day, all I do is visit some therapist, take in anti depressants, and cry. Those trips to my therapist's office lasted for 3 months, that was hell enough for me. It didn't even make me better. I'm still in this deep dark hole and I know for sure that I can't get out even if someone would help me. Those pills are like my candles in this dark void, they may provide the light for me, but it'll soon die out. It doesn't make me better permanently, it just distracts me from what really is going on for a little while.

I let my hand run along the pale skin covering my collarbones, my fingers tracing them ever so slowly. I sigh deeply as I look down, not being able to look at myself any longer. I grab the glass of water sitting on the sink, patiently waiting for me to drink it's content. I set it back down once I finish drinking, stepping out of the bathroom as I keep my head down. I head towards my room, reopening my suitcase so I could grab something more appropriate to wear once I get out of this apartment and decide to show myself to the public. It's the time of the year again. The time when all those awful memories would come flooding back into my mind again, reminding me of how much I miss her, reminding me of how Katy isn't here anymore. I grab a white tank top from the pile of clothes I managed to put inside the bag, pulling it on as I feel myself suffocating, tasting smoke in the back of my throat. I swear, even when it has been so long ago, Katy's still burning somewhere inside me. I take a sharp breath in as I slip into my black skinny jeans, my heart aching with every second I think about her. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I sit infront of of the mirror, applying a light amount of makeup on my tired looking face.

I haven't slept for days. I couldn't stop the nightmares from haunting me. They keep coming back like how the waves do when they crash on the shore. I wipe away my tears as I apply my lipstick, slowly guiding the tube of makeup across my pale lips. Maybe the reason why we call these cosmetics "makeup" is because we use them to cover up our inner pain, to make up for the ugliness going on inside of you that you don't want anyone else to see. We try to look good on the outside so people wouldn't see how dark and scary our minds really are. Our mind is an awful place to get lost into. I sigh as I stand from my chair, walking out of my little bedroom as I flick the lights off. I look around one last time, making sure that I haven't left anything unpacked before I force myself out of the small apartment I managed to find a year or so ago. I grab my luggage and head towards the door, sighing as I put them back down once I get outside. I make sure my apartment door is secure, checking the knob if it actually is locked, before fishing my phone out from my pocket. I unlock it and tap on my messages, craving someone's company so badly, and by someone I mean Shannon. She's always been here for me, trying to make me feel better when I know my world is crumbling down beneath my shaking feet. For months, I was nothing but an emotional wreck, haunted by the thought of her mother dying infront of her very own eyes. I still couldn't move on from what had happened, but I know I will someday. And that's the reason why I'm going back to that same house, that house Katy worked so hard for, just to get it standing tall for me and her so I could somehow get the closure I always wanted to have ever since Katy. . . passed. Damn it, I can't even say she's really gone. I still can't accept the fact that she's dead, no longer living and breathing here on Earth with me. Someday, I will finally be able to let go of her, so both of us would finally be in peace. But I don't know if I can do it. I don't want to let her go. Even though I don't want to let her go, I want to feel okay again. So I'll try. I know it'll be hard, but I know I'll get through this in time.