spotlight. (book two of missing melody) // katy perry

fourteen.

{Shannon's POV}

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"So, I was like 'Why are you so obsessed with me?'" I laugh, trying to tell Markus, Bonnie and Katy what happened when I went out this morning. They all laugh too, the sweet sound surfacing above our sorrow, and for a moment we all forgot about the bitter problem we all are facing: Chloe's absence. I miss her, we all do. I stop laughing, suddenly growing silent as I think of Chloe. I do miss her alot, she was like a daughter to me. I love her and I know for sure everyone else do too. At first, I don't understand why Katy's so depressed about Chloe but then after that fight we had a month ago, I somehow understood how much pain she's actually going through. I think that it hurts her knowing the fact that Chloe is nowhere near safe. It hurts me too but I'm sure it hurts Katy a hell lot more, I mean Chloe is her daughter.

I look down, loosing my appetite to laugh or even eat. Every single day, there's this constant void, this emptiness that bothers me just by thinking about Chloe and how this affects Katy. Somehow, it makes me mad that Chloe isn't here. I don't blame Chloe, of course not. It was never her fault. I'm mad about the fact that her abductor, of all the people took her. Why her? Is it because of her fame? Or her money? No one knows for sure, but we do know that I'm not going to settle with those what ifs.

"I- I think we have to go now. It's. . . It's getting dark outside." Markus says, looking out the huge and only glass window in the little cafe we currently are at. I nod, standing up as I grab my purse. Bonnie stands up, putting her sunglasses on and flick her flaming red locks off her shoulder. Katy doesn't move, still sitting on the wooden chair provided by the cafe. Her eyes are distant, her mind wandering off to something. I sigh, knowing that she felt what I did a moment ago. I know that she's thinking of Chloe again. Ever since Chloe was kidnapped, all Katy ever does is cry, zone off, eat, sleep and repeat. She doesn't go out anymore, in fact this is her first time to ever step out of her house for weeks. It has been a good solid month since Chloe went missing. I put my hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. She sighs, looking up at me. I smile sympathetically at her as she looks at me, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. I pull her up, tugging her along with me outside the cafe. She places a $10 bill on the table, tucking it under a small saucer so it wouldn't fly off.

"You okay?" I ask. I know it's probably stupid to ask that, of course she isn't. Katy sighs, adjusting her satchel on her shoulder as we walk towards my car. I didn't allow Katy to drive here like she wanted to, thinking that she isn't in the right state to be driving. I climb inside the car, turning it on and unlocking it. Markus and Bonnie sits in the backseat, allowing Katy to sit infront. The drive towards Markus' house was silent and somewhat eerie, the atmosphere thick.

"Thanks for the ride, Shan. Katy, honey. . we'll find her okay?" Markus says, grabbing Katy's hand. She sighs, looking down as she bites her lower lip.

"That's what all of you say." I catch Katy saying under her breath, making me sigh as Markus lets go of her hand. He smiles sadly at Katy before turning on his heel and walk towards his house. I drop Bonnie off next, pulling into her driveway.

"Thanks, Shan." Bonnie smiles. She looks at Katy with so much worry and sadness in her eyes, tears waiting to fall down as her eyes sparkle. She looks away, forcing herself to march towards her front door. I drive off as soon as her door closes, my heart aching for Katy. We arrive at Katy's house as the rain starts pouring, little droplet falling from the dark gray clouds. I giggle as we sprint towards the house, thinking back to when we were seventeen. We were young and cared about nothing but our happiness. We were dancing and being crazy under the rain. That made Katy giggle too, and soon enough, we were both giggling as we continue to make a desperate run inside. I take my shoes off as Katy does, every little noise we make echoes throughout the huge house. Katy stops giggling, her cheekbones no longer showing as her rosy red lips form into a frown.

"What's wrong?" I ask, the sudden change of mood bothering me.

"I shouldn't be giggling." Katy whispers, her tears drizzling down her cheeks again like they always do.

"What?"

"I don't deserve to be happy." She replies.

"That's bullshit." My voice raises, not being able to control myself. Why would she say that?

"No. I don't deserve to be happy when it was my fault that Chloe's missing. We don't even know how she is anymore. It's all my fault." She sobs, her jet black hair sticking to her face because of her tears. She doesn't bother to get them off, though. She collapses on the floor, shaking as she cries. I lower myself down infront of her, trying to pull her close to me and comfort her, but I know for a fact that there's nothing I could do to give her comfort.

"Shut up, Kate. It wasn't your fault, okay? It was no one's fault. You didn't know Chloe was in that car you saw." I reprimand, shaking my head.

"How can I be so selfish?" She ignores me.

"I shouldn't be giggling or anything. My daughter is out there struggling for dear life and yet here I am, laughing and having a good time." I slap her. I didn't want to, but I had to do it to make her see what she's saying is delusional.

"Katy, listen to me." I pause, desperately wanting her to look at me with those greenish blue eyes of hers.

"Stop blaming yourself. I know Chloe isn't exactly safe right now but you don't have to carry all of the world's problems on your shoulders. So what if you giggle, so what if you had a good time even for a little while? Would that kill Chloe? Of course not. Katy, no matter what we do we couldn't get Chloe back in an instant. If we keep focusing on the bad and would push away anything positive, how could those good things that are destined to come into our lives arrive if we surround ourselves with the bad? We shouldn't dwell on those bad things. You deserve happiness, Katy."

"I'm sorry. I just want to be alone right now, Shan." Katy mumbles, leaving me alone. I force myself towards the livingroom, desperately wanting to keep my mind off things. I don't want to seem weak, I don't want to cry. I slide the glass door open, allowing me access to the huge flatscreen television mounted on the wall. I grab the remote, turning it on. I don't really know what to watch, I just want to keep my mind distracted from what really is happening. I don't want Chloe somewhere out there, I want Chloe here with us. I miss my sweetie.

This familiar heartache is coming back again. I know for sure this is the exact same thing I felt when Katy went missing and came back with PTSD. It hurts to see those people who you dearly love, drift away or be apart from you. I don't want to lose those people I love. Maybe I've come to the point where I'm barely holding on. Like when you're about to fall off the crumbling bridge and your only way of surviving is to keep holding onto that metal bar so you wouldn't fall off and try to hoist yourself up and be back on your feet again, but you're tired; Really really tired of holding on and you just want to let go to relieve yourself from the pain; But you know that you shouldn't let go because above you, are people waiting and hoping for you not to fall as they offer their hand to you. You have a choice to whether take their hand and be reunited with them despite the pain you know you will be going through to be with them again or just let go and relieve yourself from the immense pain, after all, it's your life. But maybe, just maybe it's time for you to finally let go, to finally think about yourself and relieve yourself from the pain, to allow yourself to die despite all of those people who are praying for you to live so you wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore.

But not everyone has a choice, a choice between you and those people you love. I don't know anymore. I'm tired but I don't want to give up on Katy.

I don't want to give up on people I love.

-a/n-

emotional Shannon o

anyways, how's this chapter? i hope it's good haha. comment and vote please? x love yall