The Private Clinic

CHAPTER 2 - CASPER HARDWIN

Casper Hardwin - 5 weeks after the accident

"Hey." Jailah called from behind me.

My hands cup around my mouth as I light the cigarette I have been playing with in my hand for a while now. The wind blowing through my fingers challenges the small flame, but it prevails. I turn around and draw my eyes to Jailah's.

"Hi."

She moves towards me with big steps, the leaves crushing beneath her. When she has reached me close enough, she raises her hands and holds my face. The lit cigarette bungles from one corner to my mouth to the other. I know she hates it.

"Are you okay?" She is genuinely concerned.

I nod slowly, releasing myself from the touch of her soft hands and grabbing the cigarette from my mouth after taking a long drag.

"I don't think you look fine, Casper." She spoke very softly.

"I feel alright." I tried to convince.

"Stop keeping everything in," she began to lecture, "I'm here to help you, I'm being here for you."

I motion to the trees around me and raise my eyebrows. "Where the fuck is everyone, Jay? Why isn't anyone here?"

Jailah shook her head, unable to come up with a proper explanation. "I don't know, Cas. Not everyone's life goes completely on hold when someone goes missing."

I could tell from the way she spoke that she picked out her words very carefully, afraid to say the wrong thing and trigger another one of my anger-attacks. Thinking about her being afraid of me brings burning tears to my eyes. I try to hide it from her, but as one drops on the floor below me, I feel myself crumbling entirely. I just don't want to look weak, not in front of her.

"I know it sucks, you see this as people giving you the cold shoulder but please remember that everyone has a job, a family, and a life outside this tragedy."

"No-one fucking believes she's still alive." I sniffed.

"I do, and I think the two of us shouldn't let go of that hope. It's your sister, if she is anything like you, she would not give up with out a fight. She wouldn't. . . Leave you all alone."

"Why hasn't she returned to me?"

"Maybe she can't. There is something that happened that we don't know about."

"I want to know!" I whined like a little kid.

"Please, baby, try to calm down. I don't like seeing you upset." Jay soothed, "why don't we just look for her together and see how far we come today? It's almost sundown."

"Just the two of us. . . It's impossible to turn a whole forest inside out with just two people."

"I understand that, but it's better than nothing, right? Let's just get started. After the sun sets, it's so creepy here."

"What if my sister is out there, huh? How afraid do you think she is? Yet you get to go home and sleep soundly with your father's protection and your stupid secuitiry system. What if Juliet is all alone and can't go back because something, or someone is holding her back?" I yelled.

A regretful look forms on my face. I shouldn't have yelled at Jay.

"Please, baby, calm down. I don't want to see you upset. Let's just look around a bit more."

I nod silently.

"I'm sorry for taking my frustrations our on you, it's not fair." I mumbled.

"It's okay, I get it – you're not feeling all too well these past weeks, it's hard trying to cope."