Jack
this is useless. Alice hasn't woken up for four days, and today i lost it.
i have been screaming for three hours. not at anything ire anyone in particular, just screaming. i have never felt this empty. ever. it....it hurts. the emptiness is killing me. i have gone years and years with emptiness, but Alice made me feel whole. and now important empty again. its unreal. Alice made me better. and now she's gone. ill never have her again. ill never see her smile, or role her eyes when i say something she thinks is stupid.... ill never hear her laugh, or yell, or whisper to me in the middle of the night when i can't sleep.... i never realized how attached i am to Alice till now. how much i need her...want her. i want her so bad...and now i can't have her...
"She's not dead, you know." i ignore Tobi behind me and keep running my fingers through Alice's hair slowly.
"she's not." Tobi sits on the bed next to Alice and gets up when i glare at him.
"Just go to sleep and when you wake up, she'll be fine." i shake my head. "it doesn't work like that." i mutter, sliding my fingers down Alice's arm and gently holding her cold fingers. "well, try. we're all worried Jack." Tobi walk out of the room and i look at Alice, getting up and slowly laying down next to her. i pull her body close to mine and press my forehead to her temple, feeling my lips tremble and my chest tighten.
no, im not weak, i don't do this...
i hold Alice tighter and grit my teeth together, trying to think of something.
let it out, Jack. that's what she would want.
and i do. i cry, scream, plead into Alice's ear, gripping at her shoulders and kicking at the bed post.
"Alice, please don't leave me." i plead, turning so she's facing me and dragging my fingers all around her face. i stop and shake my head. its useless. me screaming at her isn't going to do anything. i wish it could, but it won't.
"Alice please...." i close my eyes and try calming myself down, loosening my grip on Alice slightly and sighing.
"you're cold." i mumble, pulling the blankets over her. i don't care if im talking to a dead person or a person who just can't wake up, but she's cold. if what Tobi said was true, and Alice isn't dead, then im going to take care of her.
"well, that's good. let me have a look at her." i look up at Slender and at Alice, shaking my head.
"Jack, i need to make sure she's ok" i shake my head and hold Alice tighter.
"no, you're not taking her from me" Slender doesn't say anything and nods.
"ok. i won't. but would you take her down to the lab so i can look at her?" i nod and sit up, picking Alice up with me and following Slender down the basement and into one of the rooms, the lab. we use it for emergency, and slender uses it to hold Jeff away when he gets to angry.
"table, please." i look at the table and set Alice on it. i walk Slender look into her eyes and feel around her face and neck, sighing.
"she's getting weaker by the minute. she's just asleep. her dreams are wha-" "oh my god!" i yell, snapping my fingers and watching the area around me turn into my black carnavel. i miss this place. now; Alice.
i walk around for a few minutes and stop when i hear heavy breathing. i look around and my eyes spot Alice leaning against a tree with her eyes closed.
"Alice..." i run over to her and grab her by the waist, picking her up and holding her tightly. i feel my breathing pick up and hold her tighter, the wind picking up and it beginning to snow. this has never happened before.
"Jack, shh." i let Alice fall to her feet and nuzzle my face into her neck.
"i missed you " i mumble, placing gentle kisses along her neck.
"Jack, look at me." i look at Alice and she pushes my hair out of my face, smiling slightly at the snow.
"Jack, you only have a little time to be here." i shake my head. "no, no, Alice please..." "Jack, im sorry. im ok. im fine." i frown. "then why are you-" "because i don't know when im going to wake up." i shake my head and grab Alice's wrist as she goes to move her hands away from my face.
"Alice, no, you can't leave me." i whisper, tightening my grip on her.
"Jack, listen." i shake my head. "no, i won't!" i yell, pushing Alice's hands away from my face and grabbing them again, pulling her closer to me.
"your not leaving me! i haven't protected you for nothing! i didn't have to protect you, Alice. i wanted to!" Alice looks up at me and i hold her tightly to me.
"i can't lose you now." i breath out into her ear, trailing kisses down her neck and up her jaw line.
"Jack....i...you can't...." "i can stay here." i say calmly, looking at Alice. "im practicly hear all the time. i can stay at the little cabin and-" "Jack." i feel my body shake and tighten my hold on Alice.
"ill be ok." i look at Alice for a while and nod.
"ok." she smiles slightly and brings my head down so she can kiss my forehead.
"c-can i stay for a little?" Alice nods and gasp as the cold, snowy weather around us turns into a warm cabin living room.
"your such a mystery." i nod, pushing Alice back onto the couch and laying on top of her.
"you haven't killed for a while." i nod, not really listening to Alice as she talks, but watching her mouth move. this feeling is terrible. i don't know how Alice and other people deal with this. fear. its sick. hate it.
"Alice?" i sit up so my elbow is holding my weight up over Alice.
"yeah?" i sigh and hesitantly brush my lips over hers, lingering my face over hers before locking my lips with hers with determination. i won't feel this....for who knows how long. now i know why people have this, and work for it. this feeling is amazing.
"i love you."
