365

the permanence of scars

I never really made the mental connection that scars were permanent. I knew they would stick around but I was so hoping they would fade and some of them did - that gave me an expectation. The rest of the scars let me down, you see. 

No really, you can see. Because they're still around... and that's the most unfortunate part. Not only did I destroy my past but the permanence of these marks on my body ensure no one will love me for anything but what they see on the surface of my skin, none of this love will ever be earned by anything but the blades I pushed into my arms.

Even after the fact

Even after the blood was washed away

You, like anyone else, will take me at face value. I'm only worth as much as the scars, to you. And that, among other things, will remain true indefinitely.