Chapter 19

246 12 8
                                    

~Nikki pov~
I cant believe i just broke up with Billie. I love him so fucking much, but he will be better off without me. I just keep hurting him, I don't deserve him he can do so much better than me. Bella also loves him and i cant hurt her. So no matter how much it kills me I had to break up with him. I drop to the floor and just cry I don't even try to hold back. I hope Billie is ok. Then Bella Tré and Mike burst through the door
"Do you know where Billo went" Tré asks. I just don't answer
"Wait, what the hell Nikki whats wrong" Bella asks as she notices im crying
"I-i- uh- B-bill-" i attempt to talk but fail
" wait did Billie do something i swear to god ill kill that fucker" Mike says looking at me. Mikes always been protective, like an older brother to me
"No.. I- broke up with h-him" I stutter. And i watch as all there jaws drop
"What?" They all say in unison
"Fuck then that means Billie ran off cuz he was upset.... this could be bad" Mike says running a hand through his hair
"Im.... sorry I-i had to" I mumble
"Its ok don't apologize, but why'd you do it?" Tré asks putting an arm around me
"B-because... Bella deserves him.. not me.. i keep hurting him... and I I love him and I just want him to be happy and I want Bella to be happy and I-I don't know" I start losing it as i realize that i lost him.
"Calm down, lets go find him" Mike says motioning towards the door
"But where could he be?" I ask
"I know a few places" Mike says before grabs Bella's hand and heading towards the door. Tré picked me up and threw me over his shoulder as he followed Mike to Mikes truck. He threw me in the backseat and climbed in the passenger seat and mike drove.
"Dont worry well find him" Mike said looking in the rear view mirror at me.
"Hes right" Bella said from beside me.
"I hope so.."I say worriedly then we pull into a familiar place, Christy road and before Mike can even park the truck I was out and running for the tracks. I screamed his name but no response and he was no where to be seen.
"Cmon i have another idea mike said heading back to the truck and I followed
"Where yo next captain!" Tré yelled
"The old hangout," Mike said which made Trés whole mood shift from happiness to worry.
"Wait.. what happened there?" I ask curiously.
"Uhh.. Billie... went a little crazy" Tré said looking around like someone might gear him
"What do you mean" I ask a little more worried.
"Well he kinda.... tried to.... k-kill h-himself" Mike said with tears in his eyes. I was frozen in shock, id never seen Billie as suicidal.
"What why hes perfect why would he ever.." I trail off
"It was right after he lost Adie because he thought he could never be happy again.. and he wasn't happy until he found you" Tré said seriously, all the time I've known him I've never heard him so serious.
"Wow.." was all I could say. Then we went to the hangout, it was creepy but there were no signs of him, then we went by his house he wasn't there either so we got back in the truck feeling defeated.
"Damn it Beej" i say putting my head in my hands
"We have to find him!" Bella yelled
"But where the fuck do we look he's fucking gone!" Mike yelled running his hands through his hair.
"WAIT LETS JUST THINK ABOUT THIS" Tré yelled
"Ok so What does Billie love besides Nikki?" Bella said to no one in particular.
"MUSIC" I yell
"GILMAN!" Mike yells realizing something
"FUCK WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!!" Tré yelled as Mike cranked the truck and sped off down the highway. On the way they explained that its a bar that new bands and singers play at. Once we got there i jumped out of the truck and ran in as soon as I got in I heard a familiar voice, it was Billies, he was safe and he was on stage singing, everyone else soon came in and relief washed over all of their faces and I pushed through everyone to get to the front row and I listened to the words coming out of his mouth. He seemed to be like half way through a song ive never heard before
"Choreographed and lack of passion
Prototypes of what we were
Went full circle 'til I'm nauseous
Taken for granted now
I waste it, faked it, ate it, now I hate it
'Cause I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words
Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words
Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words "
Then everyone clapped including me, and over all the clapping i yelled
"I LOVE YOU BEEJ" he heard me and his head shot towards me and he froze and he ran off stage and I followed him
"Billie wait" i yelled following him into the guys bathroom i realized it was just me and him so i locked the door so he couldn't leave.
"Beej" I said trying to get his attention.
"What..." He said without looking at me
"I'm sorry" I say looking down
"Don't be.... I get it you don't love  me anymore" He said causing my heart to shatter.
"Billie I love you more than anything in the world... I just thought you deserved someone better than me." I say looking up.
"Nikki cant you see that your the only girl I want? Cant you see that I love you and I'm going fucking crazy without you??" He said with his emerald green eyes staring into mine.
"Im so.... so fucking sorry Beej I fucked up I fucked up real bad I'm so sorry" I said looking away.
"Its fine" He said laying a hand on my shoulder. I just wrapped my arms around him and held him tight, soon he hugged me back we just stayed like that for a while.
"Beej?" I say looking up
"Yeah?" He looks down to me
"A-are you mad?" I ask worried.
"No... I just miss you..  and like Y'know calling you mine" He said shyly.
"Well... I still think we should wait.... because Bella loves you too.." I trail off
"But I love you" He said looking away
"I love you too" I say laying my head on his shoulder.
"Then... please forgive me... gimme another chance I promise I wont hurt you again" He said giving me the puppy dog eyes. Damn it I cant resist that face.
"Ok... I forgive you Beej, and I love you so much" I say smiling up at him
"I love you too" He said before kissing me I kissed back immediately.
"But hey, can we wait... I just.. need some space" I say nervously looking at the ground.
"Whatever you want Kiki" He said with half a smile but I could see the hurt in his eyes and it killed me, but its for the best.
"Lets go find the others they're probably worried" I say while unlocking the door.
"Yeah lets go" He said following me out. Then after forever of looking we found them.
"BILLIE" Mike yelled running towards us, but then he noticed me and slowed down.
"You found him" Mike smiled.
"Yep" I smiled back then Trés bubbly ass came running over
"BILLLLLOOOOO" He screamed jumping onto Billie Billie just laughed.
"So is Nillie back together???!!!" He yelled bouncing with excitement. I watched Billies whole mood change. Like all his happiness was drained out of him and replaced with depression, In that moment I realized how much I had hurt him and My world began to spin and the last thing I remember is hearing Billie say
"No... were officially over" Then it all went black..
A/N HEY IM BACK! I LIVE IN FLORIDA SO I GOT HIT BY HURRICANE IRMA BUT ITS ALLLLL GOOD IM SAFE I JUST LOST POWER UP UNTIL TODAY, BUT IVE BEEN AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE AND HER WIFI WAS ONLY HALF WORKING SO WATTPAD WOULDNT WORK RIGHT. BUT NOW IM BACK I SWEAR I FEEL LIKE I KEEP SAYING THAT BUT THIS TIME I PROMISE.
ALSO another cliff hanger hehehehehehe
And how do u feel about Nillie being dead 😫😓😓😓😓😓😕😓😓😓😥
ANYWAY
As always Ill see u little idiots next chapter
PEACE

Stuck With Green DayWhere stories live. Discover now