Dear Erica,
To tell you honestly, I don’t know how to begin this letter. There are so many things I wanted to tell you and I don’t think everything can be put into words. But maybe I’ll start with the obvious and that is ‘I love you.’
When I first met you, I couldn’t understand why you were so different. I didn’t realize that you were special until I saw you at the party in that beautiful dress. You were always beautiful and because of my superficiality, I didn’t see it right away. I was drawn to you. It wasn’t expected but it was inevitable that sooner or later I would fall in love with you.
Being in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You taught me to see the goodness I have in me, to appreciate my blessings and gifts, to give respect without commanding fear. You have humbled me but have never made me feel small. Like a child trying to learn how to speak, I slowly learn to swallow my pride and to say the words ‘please’ or ‘sorry’. I learned to accept my own mistakes, and you taught me how I could learn from them. You taught me to value my friends and to think about others before myself.
The most important lesson you’ve taught me and which I shall always cherish is that you’ve taught me how to love.
I will be honest, Erica. I am very scared. Tomorrow might never come but whenever I look back into those special memories we shared and see your bright smile, I always see us in the future and that’s what’s been keeping me strong and optimistic.
You told me that you were scared of not being with me, but I will repeat what I replied to you. Fear no more, Erica. I will always be with you. In your heart, I will be there and in mine, you are here forever.
Love,
Tristan
It's Tristan's voice that echoes in my head everytime I read his letter.
It's been six years since he was gone and since I received my new heart. There are no complications so far. I've slowly become independent from all the medications I had to take in order for my body not to reject the heart. I have a list of foods I shouldn't eat, but the doctor had given me more freedom to do things I couldn't do before. I should be living a more normal and balanced life now.
The stitches on my chest healed fast, but the wound inside of my heart still bleeds for him. A scar had been left behind the wake of a miracle. I'm alive but barely living.
People tried to get me back on track. My friends set me up with other people. But I shut myself from all of them.
It's not that I could never love again, it's just that I'm afraid to. It's not that I'm afraid because of getting hurt again. The reason I'm afraid is that when I fall for someone else, I might start losing Tristan. And I've kept him preserved in my heart and in my memory always.
Author's Note:
Yay! I'm pretty excited that I was able to finish 3 chapters yesterday. Thank you for all the love through your votes and comments.
My writing style is probably different here. This book is probably a little bit lighter than Change of Heart.
This book is written in Erica's POV. Erica's tone and personality have probably changed or transformed. She may be different now from the heroine that we used to know in the first book. I hope you won't say that she's inconsistent or that she changed suddenly. She just changed and transformed after six years.
If you have time, click on the link at the right. I'm listening over and over again to this beautiful song by Miranda Lambert, written by Blake Shelton. The lyrics are spot on and I thought of Erica when she lost Tristan. Especially the chorus:
Cause you went away...
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay.
But I'm not going to. Ever get over you.
