Sincerely, Me {A Dear Evan Hansen FF}

{34}

Mom was sitting next to me on the couch. I was fumbling with the hem of my white pull over sweater.

"Sweetie don't be nervous. It's just Connor." My mom says, setting her hand on my knee.

That knee was bouncing but stopped once she touched it. I looked over at her, she was smiling.

I'm surprised she got to take me home, she's been working non-stop the day I got woke up in the hospital all those weeks ago.

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.

"Ooo~ that must be him! I'll get it!" My mom hops up and walks to the door.

"Connor! So glad to see you!" I hear her say.

"Mrs. Ha-" he starts.

"Heidi," She interrupts, "call me Heidi."

"...k' Heidi, good to see ya too."

I softly chuckled to myself. Jeez mom.

Soon they were walking over to me and I smiled at Connor. He grinned back.

"Evan, Connor? I'll just be in the kitchen. Tell if you need anything." She smiled and winks at me.

I smile back, "K' mom."

She quickly leaves and Connor smiles at me then sits down.

"You were out longer than the doctors thought. You must've had too much of that sleeping gas." Connor says.

"Yeah, I told them to give me a lot. I didn't want something to happen again." I say.

"What happened?"

"Oh uh.. they uh.." I mumble, looking down.

I feel Connor's finger place itself under my chin. He lifted my head so I was looking at him. I looked away.

"Evan."

I traced the outline of his hair in my mind. Following each strand with my eyes.

"Evan, look at me."

My eyes made their way down to his and I was locked in his gaze. His dark brown eyes, gazing into my own.

"What. Happened?" He says again.

"They didn't give me enough sleeping gas last time. I could feel everything." I say quietly, watching his eyes for emotions.

The first I saw was anger, then a little fear I think then helplessness.

"Oh Evan... why didn't you tell me?" He asks quietly, breaking our eye contact.

He was doing a good job at not blowing up like I thought he would.

I shrugged, "It didn't matter."

"It does when it involves you, Ev." He says, looking back at me.

His finger was still on my chin, holding my face in place to look at him. I look down at his lips but quickly back to his eyes. If he noticed he didn't say anything.

"Besides it didn't hurt that bad." My voice turning into a soft mumble as I looked back down to Connor's lips.

Stop that. Mom is right in the kitchen. I mentally scold myself.

But Sweet Jesus his lips. It's like they were taunting me. We were so close, I had moved closer to him. I could feel his breath, hitting my skin. Smelled minty. I wonder if he's chewing gum..?

"Don't lie to me Evan." He whispers, sending chills down my spin.

All he's doing is talking to me. How do I find this so attractive? Oh right. Because he's Connor.