Sincerely, Me {A Dear Evan Hansen FF}

{16}

"CONNOR IS THAT BLOOD?! HAS IT BEEN THERE THIS ENTIRE TIME?!"

So let me fill you in.

After me and Zoe's "sibling bonding moment" she looked down to my hands. Her eyes went wide, then she screamed that at me.

I shrugged, "You think it'll pass for ketchup?"

She sighed and stood up, dragging me by my shirt, with her. She pulled me into the bathroom and started getting out cleaning supplies. I watched her until she came over to me and pushed me back against the sink counter.

"Sit on there."

I rolled my eyes at her being "demanding" and jumped up onto the counter. I started to swing my legs a little. She set a bunch of supplies on the other side of the counter and looked at me.

"Take off your jacket."

"But what if it's cold?"

"It's not cold. Take it off."

I huff and take off, I shiver slightly and pout. I set the jacket on the ground and rub at my shoulders. It felt weird to only wear a t-shirt. I mean I usually do it in the summer but then I go back to sweaters when school starts.

"You said it's not cold."

She grinned, "How am I supposed to know? I'm wearing a jacket too, genius."

"I hate you."

"I know. Now, give me your hand."

I gave her my left hand first. Instantly she got a cloth and turned on the water.

"This might sting." She said and held my hand under the water, I flinched at the cold water but quickly got used to it.

"..Connor?"

I looked over at Zoe. "Yeah? What's up?"

".. why can't we be this close all the time..?" She says in an almost whisper.

Zoe had finished cleaning the dried and turned off the water and looked at me.

".. I .. I don't know..." I say, turning my head and looking away from her.

I heard her sigh then let go of my hand. She grabbed something and opened it. I looked over to what she was doing. She was wiping her eyes.

"Zoe?"

She sniffles, "Y-yeah?"

"You remember when we were younger? How, we'd go with Mom and Dad to the orchard?" I said quietly, watching her pour something over my cut up knuckles.

She paused before responding.

"Y-yeah. Before they started arguing a lot."

I smiled slightly. She finished pouring and started wrapping gauze around my hands.

"And how we'd run around the fields, finding the prettiest flowers and making them into flower crowns?" I was looking at her, smiling slightly.

She looks up at me and smilies, tears brining her eyes.

"Yeah. And we'd make one for Dad and he refused to wear it. Then after 10 minutes of begging he gave in and wore it."

I laughed, "Mom loved when we made those. She would always keep them until it starting dying. We always had to tell her to grow them out cause they smelt bad!"

Zoe giggled and wiped at her eyes, "Yeah! And we all always had different colored flowers. I'd always get the purple flowers, Mom would get the yellow, Dad would get blue and you'd get the pink ones!"

I fake groaned, "Nooo don't remind me of the flowers I got!"

Zoe laughed and stuck a finger into my chest, "You were the one who picked it! 'Pink is pretty! And I want to be pretty!'" She said, in an attempt at my younger self voice.

I laughed, "Shut up, I did not sound like that!"

"Yes you did!" She grinned.

I rolled my eyes and gave a dramatic sigh. "I am very hurt by your horrible voice of tiny Connor. So is tiny Connor, he is also very hurt."

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes, "I knew it. Your such a teenage girl on her period."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Whatever." I huff, taking my left hand back and moving more onto the counter so my right hand would reach the sink.

She giggled and turned on the water, taking my hand and putting it underneath the sink.

"Connor?"

I looked at her, "Yeah?"

"This Evan guy, he.. important to you?" She asked, gently scrubbing at the dry blood.

I looked away, lightly blushing. Sighing I turned back to see her grinning and raising her eyebrows.

"Shut up." I mumble.

"I didn't even say anything." She says, still grinning.

"You didn't have to."

"You like him?" She asks.

"... Yeah. Wait no. I don't like him Zoe. It's way more than that. I love him. I can't live without him." I say.

She smiles. "No wonder you've been.. less normal than usual. I noticed you were acting different, I thought it was just some drug that was strong or something. Guess I didn't notice your googling eyes whenever you were around him at school."

I roll my eyes, "Less normal?"

"..Yeah, I mean.. normal for you is.. always high or drunk.. or something.." she says looking away.

"You really think that?" I ask quietly, looking at her.

She looked up from my hand and into my eyes.

"...N-no. I just.. wanted to believe .. something that made sense to why you.. why you would always hurt me. Physically and mentally."

I was the one that looked away. I stared at the floor as she continued to clean my hand. Zoe was already wrapping my hand with gauze when I broke the silence.

"... I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Huh?" She asked, my guess is that she was looking at me.

I looked at her, "I'm sorry." I say, a little louder.

".. I don't know if I can forgive you.." she says quietly.

"I wouldn't forgive me from years of torment either." I say, clenching my left hand.

".. But maybe over time, I can.. forgive you." She says, placing her hand on my left hand.

She unclenched my hand and smiled at me.

"I believe you can be good, Evan's already started to bring it out. I just need time." She says, almost sounding careful.

I laughed, "Your so cheesy."

She grinned, "We're both really bad at keeping the sibling moment."

"Yeah, we are."

~~~

Ok so this was a filler/not sad chapter, I think you guys deserved it since I have been dragging you all through hell XD love all of you so much!!

~Fro