16. Tris VS Katniss

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This chapter contains spoilers for both the Hunger Games trilogy (by Suzanne Collins) and the Divergent trilogy (by Veronica Roth). If you haven’t read any of these books or seen any of their film adaptations, please skip this chapter. Also, please do not take any of the characters’ opinions personally.

Mario: I’m bored.

Daisy: Same.

Luigi: Toadette looks like she’s about to have an emotional breakdown.

Toadette: *closes her copy of Allegiant* Oh em. The feels. *starts bawling*

Pauline: Here we go again…

Yoshi: Why you crying?

Pauline: DON’T YOU SEE?!?! *literally hisses at Yoshi* She’s dying over that Diversion book again. Just because that Abdomen-Daughter lady died! Pfft. She was useless anyway. On the other hand, though, Katniss Everdeen is so awesome… ahem-hem. She’s super pretty. And her Everdeen body is like an evergreen! Tall, and thin.

Toadette: *snaps out of her breakdown into a rage* NO! Tris is awesome! She’s NOT useless. Plus, it’s DIVERGENT. And ABNEGATION-DAUNTLESS.

Pauline: Whatever.

Toadette: But how did you know she died if you don’t care about the books whatsoever?

Pauline: I… I…

Wario: OOOOHHHH, BUUUURRRNN!

Toad: Well, I guess this calls for… *drumroll* A TRIS VS KATNISS COMPETITION! Team Katniss’s captain is Pauline! Team Tris’s is Toadette! The good news here is that I won’t be playing this time, so someone is bound to actually win! You may begin taking sides and insulting the other team’s patron starting… NOW!

Birdo: Who are these people?! I don’t even read! I’ll just choose the side of whoever is prettier.

Peach: *shows pictures of Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and Tris (Shailene Woodley) on her laptop*

Birdo: I’M ON TRIS’ SIDE!

Daisy: Katniss has swag!

Bowser: Hmm, which weapons do I prefer? The classic bow and arrow or the awesome high-tech guns? Yep, the awesome high-tech guns.

Toad: Team Katniss has 2 points and Team Tris has 3.

Peach: I vote Katniss!

Mario: I do, too!

Wario: Nah, Katniss screams too much.

Waluigi: Well, Tris is too weak.

Wario: No, Tris is a natural! She knew how to do all the Dauntless stuff as soon as she joined the faction, even though she had no experience! She has a more intense workout than I do.

Waluigi: Well, who doesn’t?

Wario/Waluigi: *start bickering*

Yoshi: Ummm… *looks at Dauntless food* Hamburgers. *looks at Panem food* Bread. Hamburgers. Bread. Hamburgersssss…… No. Bread. Sorry hamburgers. *scurries to Team Katniss, eating District 11 bread* Yommy yommy.

Toadette: Grrrrr... WHAT IF THE BREAD WAS MOLDY?! *sobs* WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS BETRAYING MEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee………

Donkey Kong: I’m on Team Katniss!

Diddy Kong: I’m on that team, too! It’s more likely to find bananas in the Capitol than in dystopian Chicago.

Toad: Team Katniss has 8 points and Team Tris has 4.

Koopa: FOUR! Haha, get it? I’m definitely on Team Tris.

Team Tris: Yes!!!

Dry Bones: Katniss is more skillful.

Koopa: Well, I bet she has more fears than Tris!

Dry Bones: But, Tris killed one of her friends!

Koopa/Dry Bones: *start bickering*

King Boo: I’ll just be on Team Tris because I’m too annoyed with how popular Katniss’ braid is… It’s so ordinary!

Birdo: Since when did you care so much about hairstyles? You don’t have hair!

King Boo: Neither do you…

Birdo: *crawls under a chair and sobs*

Rosalina: I’ll be on Team Tris because I like the Divergent soundtrack more than The Hunger Games: Catching Fire one.

Everyone: You listened to the soundtracks?

Rosalina: Yes, I have taken a liking to them. Do not assume that all elders listen to old music.

Team Katniss: What about the first Hunger Games soundtrack?

Rosalina: *grows giant and points a finger at them, eyes glowing and angry* DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE AN ELDER’S PASSION FOR MUSIC. YES, I HAVE HEARD IT AS WELL. *strikes Team Katniss with lightning from her finger and shrinks as if nothing happened*

Luigi: Team Tris for the win!

Toad: Now, Team Katniss has 9 points and Team Tris has 8. Team Katniss wins!

Team Katniss: YAY!!!

Team Tris: NO!!!

Everyone: *goes crazy*

Toad: WAIT!

Everyone: *stops* What?

Toad: The results have come in for the Best Character Award at the MTV Movie Awards. Both Tris Prior and Katniss Everdeen have been fighting for the top spot.

Everyone: WHO WON??

Toad: TRIS! So I guess both teams won! *realizing what that means* Oh, no… *sighs* I guess that means it’s a tie… AGAIN.

Everyone: *goes crazy*

I hope you liked this chapter! Sorry for not updating in two months! I like both Katniss and Tris but I prefer Tris. Who do you like better? Tell us in the comments!  Btw thanks for all the reads! Anyways pls add, comment, vote, etc. Thanks!

- pinkandpeachy

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