Her Monster's Wraith

Drinking with Pekka

Give me your cold hands, put them on my heart– Ingrid Michaelson, Afterlife

It's alive!– Frankenstein

(Night time, day after Raoul tried to kiss her, sitting on the windowsill)

Inej sat on the window sill, her head leaned back, and her eyes closed. A cold breeze wafted into the room and she held her mug of chocolate drink tighter, letting the warmth seep into her hands. When she'd left last, winter had just started, and now winter was in full bloom, like a fragrant flower, but it would die soon, shrivel up and recede, letting a warm flower take its place. She opened her eyes and pulled her head forwards, bringing the mug up and sipping from it. Kaz's funeral was the next day. She'd decided to let everyone pay their respects, and then she have him cremated and take him down to his farm and scatter his ashes in the wind. Inej closed her eyes as snow flurries danced into the room.

She heard a squawk and the fluttering of wings and opened her eyes.  A crow sat on her knees, looking at her with a cocked head, its blue-black eyes looking intelligently at her.  She reached out a hand and stroked it.  It fluffed its wings and puffed puts its chest at her.  She smiled, her eyes sad.  The crow cawed at her and then it flew over to the door.  Inej watched it.

"The way out is back out the window," she called to it.  The crow flew back over to her, looking bad at the door almost longingly, and then it flew off.  She watched it go, envying its freedom.  It could just fly wherever the wind took it, but she was stuck here, in a sea of memories and sorrow.  So this was what Nina had felt like.  But Nina was there in Matthias' last moments, her mind hissed at her.  She cursed herself in a moment, and got up.  She needed to clear her head.  She needed a drink.  Hopping down from the sill she walked over to the closet and pulled off her shirt, changing into a cream sweater and changing her socks into thicker ones and slipping back on her boots.  She left the room, her braid swinging behind her as the door closed loudly.  She walked glumly down the stairs, now wishing she hadn't sent all her friends away earlier that night.  

(Earlier that night)

"Inej, are you sure you want us to leave?" asked Nina, taking one of her friend's hands.  Inej looked at Nina and smiled.

"I'll be fine.  I promise, go get some waffles or something," Inej assured her.  Jesper and Wylan stood in the doorway.

"Inej–"

"I need to be alone.  I–I need to think."  She hugged Nina, Wylan, and Jesper, and then ushered them out of the door, but Nina paused.

"I know what it's like, I know what you might be thinking about.  Don't listen to the voices." Hugged Inej one last time before leaving.

(Back to present time)

Inej made it to the bottom of the stairs, turning around to wait for a limping figure that would never come.  Her shoulders sagged, and Inej turned around, sighing.  She knew he wasn't coming, yet she still felt obligated to wait the sixteen extra seconds it would take for him to get down the stairs.  Once they were up she walked out into the main area of the Slat.  No one talked to her as she passed through the room, and into the office.  It wasn't a surprise when she saw Pekka Rollins sitting in Kaz's chair.  She knew he was going to come and gloat.  He was drinking a large bottle of brandy, his feet propped up, and relaxing back.

"Inej, how nice of you to join me, sit. Drink?" he asked, and she snatched the bottle off the desk, plopping down into the chair across the large mahogany desk.  She put the bottle to her lips and took a long gulp.  She put the bottle back on the desk and Rollins watched her closely, as if waiting for her to lunge across and attack him.  But Inej was tired, and she would wait until he really made her angry to attack him.  His red hair was wisping, and it fluffed around his ears in the worst way.  His eyes looked tired, and she could relate.