The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 15

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Anna, happy birthday to you!" sang family and friends.

Anna sat at the head of the table in her high chair as a huge cake was placed in front of her by me. She saw the bright flames on the candles and tried to grab them, but I nervously grabbed her hands back. She tried to blow out the candles but mostly ended up spitting on the cake, so I had to do it.

Sitting in our flat, around the large dining table, was Mom, Dad, Mr and Mrs Waters, Isaac and a few other babies and moms from Anna's playgroup.

Later, once everyone had finished eating their cake, the parents were talking and sipping tea, and the babies were crawling around on the floor. I could finally speak to Isaac.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year with her already," I sighed to Isaac, watching Anna.

Anna was trying to pull herself up to stand, grabbing on to the bookshelf. Once she was standing, Anna tried to shuffle along but couldn't get anywhere. She cried in dismay.

"Hey, Anna, come here," I said to her.

I held tightly on to Anna's little hands, as she awkwardly stepped. I then gently let go of her fingers. Anna stepped a few steps all by herself, then fell flat on her bum.

"Anna! Your walking!" I cried happily at her.

She just laughed at me, oblivious to what she just had done. For the rest of her birthday I helped her do a little shuffle walks, until eventually she could walk at least five steps towards me, without stumbling.

For her birthday present, we decorated the spare room into a room just for Anna. Me and Dad spent hours painting the room a pretty shade of pink, while Mom kept Anna occupied. We manouvered her cot into the bedroom too, as I didnt think she was ready for a bed yet. I was very nervous to put Anna in her own room, scared something went wrong. I stayed awake all night listening to the baby moniter, waiting for her to wake up screaming. She never did wake up though, and I wasnt breatfeeding her anymore, so she slept like a log.

In the next few months, Anna perfected walking and toddled around everywhere. This was lovely, but it meant she could now open drawers, so I had to childproof everything. It also meant that when we went shopping, Anna wanted to walk by herself. In the supermarket I could hardly keep up with her. One time I turned to drop something in the trolly, and when I looked back, Anna was gone. I frantically searched the whole supermarket, my lungs basically collapsing in on me.

Turns out she was sitting on low shelf in the fruit and vegetable aisle, chewing on a raw carrot. God she was going to be a nightmare at school.

Anna always calmed down when we went to Isaac's though. I think she loved it there. Isaac would patiently sit for hours with her as they played with Anna's plastic figures. Isaac obviously couldn't see so he just grabbed any old toy and moved it around a bit, and Anna cracked up laughing every time. It was the few hours of peace I got throughout the week to read my book.

Before I knew it, Anna was talking too. Her first word was something that sounded like, "Om-om-om" but I could tell it was meant to be Mom. She also said Isaac; "Eye-Ack"

I phoned him straight away and told him about Anna,then took a deep breath and asked,

"Isaac...will you be Anna's godfather?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few minutes then he replied shakily,

"Yes, Hazel, I would very much. Thank you."

Soon enough Anna was talking in full sentences. Then, in a flash, it was her second birthday, and then her third.

On the night of her third birthday, I went through to Anna's room. She was lying asleep her pink satin bed, a pleasant expression on her face. I hoped she was having a nice dream. She had her favourite teddy (a small purple bear with an anxious expression named Rufus, given to Anna by me for her 2nd birthday) lay beside her.

I watched her for a while then, without waking her, I slowly lay down on her bed, careful not to tangle up my oxygen tube. Her blonde curls sprang around her head like a golden halo, and she breathed on me with that soft minty breath of hers. She was so old. Anna was going to preschool after the holidays! It was only yesterday that she was a little baby that I could carry in one hand. A single tear dropped onto her pillow.

"Stop growing up. Just stop it!" I quietly sobbed into her pillow.

It was like she was growing up and leaving me behind. I feared that I wouldn't be able to stay on this world much longer, my cancer cells were still in my body, I was still contaminated. I just wanted to spend as much time with Anna as possible and that wouldn't be long if she kept getting older by the second and time kept flying by.

Yeah so sorry that chapter went really quickly! The whole point of it was that Hazel feels like that 2 years went really fast, and since this is in Hazel's point of view then I made them go by really fast. Sorry if that doesn't make sense.

I'm getting really exited about this story now, so it's your second update in 3 days! Also I was on the plane home from my holiday today so I had a lot of free time to wire.

I go back to school tomorrow, so ill have less time to write but ill hopefully post a chapter at least every 2 weeks(: