The Star in Our Faults

Chapter 9

June 24th. My baby was due the next day, June 25th. I could hardly believe it. No more days of old ladies smiling fondly at my stomach, no more days of Isaac feeling my belly. It would all be over soon.

In a way, I knew I would miss being pregnant. But I still could not wait to be normal again, without carrying another human being. Well as normal as you can be with lung cancer.

But thoughts kept occurring to me. After all of this, I was going to have to care for a baby. I wouldn't be able to get any help from the father like most woman, just me. And there was that whole problem about the baby having cancer, all these thoughts were a crushing weight on me.

I sighed too myself while I sat on my bed doing nothing. A small bag in the corner if my bedroom was filled with my stuff for the hospital, and some baby things. I didn't know what to do. Earlier in the week I had a few contractions, but when I went into hospital they explained to me that I wasn't in labor yet and that I was just experiencing some mild pre-birth contractions. Mild? They were as painful as hell. Anyway my midwife said that I should probably wait for my water to break, that was the most common sign for labor.

So that's what I did, just sat there, on my bed, waiting for my water to break. What else was I supposed to do? It would be far too nerve-racking to go anywhere, what if my water broke in public or something? Nightmare.

I slowly stumbled towards my mirror that hung next to my wardrobe. Hanging off the mirror were a few simple necklaces, mostly from mom. I stared at my reflection and a ghost girl looked back. I remember life with Augustus, dear Augustus. I was certain my eyes were brighter when I was around him, my smile wider. And now my sunken eyes and frown looked back at me.

I wore a plain oversized cardigan with stretchy leggins and a simple t-shirt. Yuck. My greasy, brown hair had grown in the past few months and now the tips reached my shoulders. I made a mental note to myself to get my hair cut as soon as this baby was born.

When the clock struck midnight on the 25th June, I hooked myself up to my oxygen tank, ready for bed. I decided it would be best to sleep because if I did give birth the next day, I needed all the energy possible. I couldn't sleep though as my head was buzzing. I forced myself to lay in bed. After a while I must of fallen asleep, and from then on I just had naps. Nightmares terrorised my sleep, I woke up in pools of cold sweat. But I could never remember what my horrible dreams were about.

I woke up screaming, a pain in the bottom of my stomach. After a few seconds I realised it was just a contraction like the others I had the nights before. I braced myself because even though it was painful, it would be over in a few seconds. But it seemed to go on for hours, my face tensed, sweat on my forehead. Finally the pain stopped and I breathed out. That contraction went on longer then most but I convinced myself that it didn't mean anything.

I grabbed my laptop which sat on charge next to my bed, and googled "signs of going into labor". The first website read

The main sign of labour starting is a 'show'. A show is when the plug of mucus from your cervix comes away.
Other signs that you are going into labour can include your water breaking (rupture of the membranes), backache and an urge to go to the toilet caused by your baby's head pressing in your bowel.

I sighed happily too myself. At least I wasn't going into labor - yet. But then I read the information below, and felt a sick growling in my stomach.

When you are having regular, painful contractions that feel stronger and last more than 30 seconds, labour may have started. As labour gets going (gets established) your contractions tend to become longer, stronger and more frequent.

Were my contractions longer than 30 seconds? I didn't know. So when the next contraction came, I counted. It was strong and hard but I kept counting, my teeth gritted. Eventually I came up with a number from about 35-40 seconds. 35-40 seconds...

I was going into labor.

Authors Note: Finally, Hazel is in labor! I was going to write all about it in this chapter but I decided to leave you guys on a cliff hanger instead.

I have over 400 reads! YAY! I can't believe it! Thank you so much!

Next chapter will be soon I promise.