Figure It Out [Phan]

[10]

Dan and Phil slowly grew closer as they continued to work on their project. They were texting daily now, not even about the project. Just about their lives and interests.

The project they were paired together to do ended about a week later. But they both decided to still talk because they enjoyed on another's company so much.

About a month later, it was a daily occurrence that Dan would go over to Phil's house or vice versa. One day, Dan got a text in the middle of class.

amazingphil: dannnnn! exciting news!!!

Dan always replied to Phil right away. No matter the time.

danisnotonfire: What is it?

amazingphil: i got a boyfriend!

Dan's heart shattered.

Dan knew he had been falling for Phil, almost since the first day they even met in detention. Dan had been falling harder and harder for Phil every time they spoke.

Hot tears stung Dan's eyes. He grabbed the bathroom pass and ran quickly, choking back his tears. He locked himself in a stall, where he finally decided to let himself cry.

"What were you expecting?" Dan thought, beating himself up for allowing this to happen. "Phil has been talking about wanting a boyfriend for ever. And what? You expected it to be you? You expected that Phil would magically see through the wall that you built around yourself and want to date you? Why would the perfect Phil Lester want to date the worthless piece of trash that is Dan Howell?"

Dan banged his head on the stall door in front of him.

"You're so stupid." Dan thought. "Stupid. Stupid. STUPID. For ever falling in love with Phil Lester."

Dan could feel the hole burning in his stomach. The rejection, it hurt so bad. But Dan knew that even through this, he could never stop loving Phil. The feelings would never go away. He couldn't make them go away, no matter how bad they hurt him.

Dan checked his phone, the vision blurry from tears.

amazingphil: dan, are you okay???

***

Phil sent the text after Dan hadn't responded in a few minutes.

His phone buzzed.

danisnotonfire is typing...

The screen remained that way for quite some time.

"Why isn't he responding? Is he not happy for me?" Phil thought.

His phone buzzed again.

danisnotonfire: That's great! Who is he?

***

Dan wrote the message as he choked on his own tears.

He loved Phil, and that would make him do anything so that Phil would be happy. Even if it made Dan hurt so, so bad.

amazingphil: Matt Farrow. idk if you know him

Dan went from crying to concerned in the mention of one name. Matt Farrow.

"Matt Farrow?" Dan thought. "I thought he moved away! He bullied me constantly in middle school. That asshole is going to be dating Phil. MY PHIL. But I don't want to make Phil upset by telling him not to date him. I'll just have to warn Phil. Hopefully he'll listen."

danisnotonfire: Um, Phil? I thought he moved away.

amazingphil: yeah he did. but he's back now. and gayyyy

danisnotonfire: He bullied me and other kids mercilessly in middle school.

amazingphil: i bet he's changed tho

danisnotonfire is typing...

It took Dan forever to figure out what to say. He ended up with:

danisnotonfire: Yeah probably.

Dan would do anything, anything, to make Phil happy. But Dan had a feeling that this would make Phil more miserable than anything else.

***

Phil was concerned when Dan texted that Matt bullied him. Dan wouldn't lie to him. But Phil wanted a boyfriend so bad, and Matt was the only chance he had. If Matt doesn't work out, that's okay for Phil. But he wanted a boyfriend so desperately at the moment. He had to take whatever he could get.

amazingphil: our first date is today afterschool. i'll have to take a rain check on walking with you danny

Phil had called Dan "Danny" before in his mind, but he never said it aloud to Dan. He typed the message without even thinking, only realizing his mistake when he got Dan's message.

danisnotonfire: Did you just call me Danny?

Phil decided to go for it.

amazingphil: yeah. you're my danny

danisnotonfire: Okay, well then you're just going to have to be my Philly.

Phil blushed. But he played it cool.

amazingphil: i'm down for that. danny and philly

danisnotonfire: It has a nice ring to it.

amazingphil: but srsly, i can't walk with you today. sorry

danisnotonfire: That's fine. See you later, Philly.

amazingphil: as to you, danny

Phil, before putting away his phone, changed Dan's contact name to "My Danny".

***

And Dan changed Phil's contact name to "Philly Cheesesteak <3".

Dan walked back to class, his cheeks slightly red, and happy that he was Phil's Danny.