Figure It Out [Phan]

[8]

Dan and Phil were walking to Dan's house in silence. Dan had decided to put in his earbuds almost immediately as they began walking. It's been half a mile, and the silence was haunting Phil.

Phil walked quickly, to keep with Dan's pace. "So how was your day?" Phil said, his lame attempt at small talk.

Dan pulled out his earbuds. Phil could hear the noise coming from them. "Did you say something?" Dan said.

"I asked how your day was." Phil said.

"Well I got laughed at in front of the entire school multiple times due to your asshole of a friend, then I got pushed into a fucking locker by him. So not great, Phil. Not great." Dan spat.

"Oh." Phil said. "Sorry for asking."

Dan put his earbuds back in and they continued to walk in silence. As they were walking, Phil noticed a tear slide down Dan's face.

"Dan," Phil said, placing one of his hands on Dan's shoulder, stopping them both.  Dan's head whipped around with a wide-eyed surprise. Dan glanced at the hand on his shoulder. Dan pulled out his earbuds.

"W-What?" Dan said.

"Are you okay?" Phil asked.

***

"Are you okay?" Phil asked.

Dan stood there, silent for a moment, as he processed Phil's hand on his shoulder. The feeling sent chills all over Dan, but no way in hell he would let Phil know that.  Dan was staring at Phil, the tear that had fallen down Dan's face still left a trace on his cheek. Dan's feet were pointed towards Phil, and Phil's were pointed towards Dan. Barely a foot was between them. Dan could stare at Phil forever, the black hair, the eyes that-

"Dan?" Phil asked.

Dan snapped back into reality. "Um, what was the question?" Dan asked.

"Are you okay?" Phil asked, with genuine care in his voice.

Dan's head got pulled from the happiness that came from Phil's touch, and back to the startling reality that is his painful life.

"No I'm not okay!" Dan said, pulling away from Phil. Phil's hand fell from Dan's shoulder. "You really think that I'm okay?!" Dan's misery bubbled into an anger that took itself out on Phil. "Well I'm not fucking okay!" Dan started to yell. "Everything, fucking everything, in my life has been falling to shreds and I can't do anything about it!" Dan's voice kept getting louder and louder. "The more I try to pick myself up the more I fall! I'm miserable, Phil! So fucking miserable I don't even want to live anymore!"

Dan broke down into sobs. His anger had once again resided to painful sadness that now overcame him in body-shaking sobs.

Dan was on the ground, his knees tucked up to his chest. His eyes were filling with tear after tear. He couldn't stop crying, he couldn't stop mumbling all the things he did wrong in his life.

Then Phil knelt down and wrapped Dan tightly in his arms.

***

Phil watched as Dan broke down crying. It was heartbreaking, seeing someone reduced to that state. Dan looked so helpless, so sad. And now Phil could finally do something about it.

So Phil knelt down and wrapped his arms around Dan. He wasn't sure what it exactly was, but something just felt right about Dan in his arms.

At first Dan stiffened up, but then he melted into Phil's arms. They held each other tightly, like nothing in the world could break them apart.

Dan stopped crying quickly. He shook Phil off and stood up, wiping his tears with his sleeve.

"C'mon." Dan said. "We still have to get to my house."

Dan and Phil started to walk in silence. The awkwardness could be felt in the air.

After another hundred feet or so, Dan broke the silence.

"So, uh, Phil." Dan said. "The whole crying thing never happened, okay?"

"Okay." Phil said. "And neither did the piano thing."

"What piano thing?" Dan asked sarcastically. It made Phil laugh, which made Dan smile.

"It's a good fit." Phil thought to himself.

Phil's phone started to ring. The caller ID read "Mum".

"Who's calling?" Dan asked.

"My mum." Phil said, answering the phone.

***

"I wonder what Phil's mum is calling about." Dan thought.

"Hi, Mum." Phil said into the phone. Dan couldn't hear what was coming through the other end of the phone, just mumbles, but he tried his best to piece together a conversation based on the snippets he heard from Phil.

"I'm just walking home with Dan." Phil said.

Mumble.

"We have a science project together. I thought I already told you this." Phil answered.

Voices.

"I don't know when. I'll have to call you."

Mutter.

"I have some."

More intense muttering.

"I'll remember."

Continuous intense muttering.

"Yes I know the importance of the meds. When have I ever forgotten to take them?"

Mumble mumble.

"I know, Mum. I won't forget."

Voice.

"Promise. Now I gotta go."

Mutter mumble.

"I love you too. Bye." Phil said, hanging up the phone.

***

Phil hung up the phone.

"So, what was the call about?" Dan asked.

"Oh, my mum just usually picks me up at about this time. She was wondering where I was." Phil said. "Even though I already told her that I was going to your house, but whatever."

"All mums are pretty much like that." Dan said. "So, you take meds?"

"Oh no." Phil thought. "He picked up on that part of the conversation."

"Yeah." Phil said. He found that the easiest way to throw someone off the trail is to not act like it's a big deal.

"Can I ask what for?" Dan said.

"Well don't tell him what the pills are actually for. The face that I take antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills usually tend to scare people off." Phil thought.

"Nothing really." Phil said.

"Oh, okay." Dan said.

Then they didn't talk for the rest of the walk.