After a late breakfast, we say goodbye to my parents for a while so they can sightsee. We then meet up with Lindsey's mother and brothers. Lindsey is staring at me the entire time as I hug each and every one of them.
"You look gorgeous, Stevie. It seems as though tour and that little bit of rest afterward has treated you both very well." Ruth says.
"Thank you. Yes, I think it did."
"Maybe a little too well" Lindsey says and I shoot him a look. "Sorry" he mouths and I nod. I suddenly feel self conscious, wrapping my jacket around myself.
"Have you been doing anything exciting?" Ruth asks me, while Lindsey goes off to goof around with his brothers. They're children when they're together!
"Well, as you know, we just bought a house and we have been having so much fun decorating and really making it feel like home. We cook together and play a little music here and there. He's been helping me iron out a new song recently and it's going so well."
"Any news on the grandchildren front?" she asks, seeming all too ready for us to give her a baby to cuddle and spoil.
"After we're married" I tell her diplomatically, glancing at Lindsey who seems to be looking right at me.
"Ah, good girl" She seems happy with that answer and Lindsey turns back, giving me a thumbs up.
We talk for a little while longer, stopping by the water to look around and take in the sights. This city is so old and unique. The architecture is incredible and all of us enjoy that. I hear Lindsey having an amazing conversation with his brothers and Ruth and I happily join in.
Later in the afternoon, all of us get back together with my parents and it's so good to see them talking and interacting again. I must admit though, Lindsey and I both feel like teenagers again when our parents are around. For a while, we hardly kiss, hug or touch for fear of being scolded. We gather for lunch as we are all hungry once again. I notice the lamp posts outside are decorated for Christmas, it's just around the corner and I sigh.
"What's wrong?" Lindsey asks.
"As happy as I am to see my parents, I wish I could have seen my little brother too."
"Don't be sad, Steph. It's just work stuff. He will be here in time for the wedding." Lindsey says, wiping the single tear that fell down my cheek.
"Really?" I ask. "He's coming?"
"Baby, he wouldn't miss it for the world." My mood brightens a little and I nod, knowing that's true. Frankly, I don't know if I'd want to get married without him here. I love him and he means so much to me. "Plus, our bandmates will be here, more than a few of our friends...you won't be lonely on our big day."
"You're the best, Linds." I whisper, kissing him softly on the lips.
"It's nothing. I want my girl to be happy. What's it they say? Happy wife, happy life?"
"That's right" I say and he chuckles.
"It's best I learn now, before we're married rather than after."
I smile at him, stroking the back of his hand with my fingernails. "You're going to be such a great husband."
"Yes dear" he says dryly before laughing and I giggle a little too. "You're already the best wife, you're just not officially a Buckingham."
"Yet!" I tell him, "But soon."
"Not soon enough." He kisses me tenderly, only pulling away to order our food once we have decided and wait for our server to disappear.
Dinner was full of happy conversation, everyone talking over each other, or crossing topics to form one big group or break off into smaller ones. Lindsey rubbed my thigh under the table nervously and I had to cross my legs the other way to get him to stop. I could feel his energy and it was doing my head in. "Are you okay?" I asked him and he shook his head. "Excuse us" I said to the table and his brothers elbowed each other, implying that we were going to do something dirty. Ruth silences them quickly and Lindsey scoffs.
"Fuckin knuckleheads" he says.
"Now what's wrong?" I ask once we are outside. A man is smoking a brown cigarette nearby and Lindsey's eyes keep darting in his direction.
"Can you put that out?" Lindsey asks him, clearly irritated.
"Leave him alone" I say and Lindsey pushes himself into the wall, as if he's going to slide right between the bricks. The man simply turns the other way and continues smoking.
"Come over here" he says, pulling me away and I stare at him, completely confused.
"You're freaking me out."
"I just worry about you. You don't need the secondhand smoke." His eyes start to wander to the man around the corner that we can no longer see. "I'm going to quit right now."
"You barely smoke as it is."
"Then it should be easy. And I'm killing the pot habit."
"Alright so what is this about?" He is avoiding my questions and he's starting to tick me off.
"The baby."
"Linds, we don't know if there is a baby. If I would have known you'd act like a spazz, I wouldn't have said anything."
"Stephanie, I'm sorry, okay. Just...let's find out. Tonight, we can stop by the chemist, or the pharmacie or whatever they call them here and find out."
"I'd prefer if we waited until we got home. I want to marry you then worry about whatever is going on in my body afterward."
"Don't you want to know? Aren't you curious?" he asks and I shake my head. "Not even a little?" He stares me right in the eyes and I feel my knees buckle as I throw my arms around him. I sniff and I know he knows I'm crying. Over what, I'm not sure. Maybe I'm tired and jet lagged. Maybe I'm scared...no, I know I'm scared. My drug usage and partying is no secret and the fact I'm alive at all after what has happened over the last few years is shocking in itself. What if it never happens? Or what if it does and I miscarry? I will be crushed and so will he. I don't want to let him down. "Talk to me" he says and I look up, gently wiping the streaks of makeup from my face.
"I don't know what to say." I'm being honest. I have no idea. I can't tell him how scared I am when I know he is so happy that we could be, finally...
"I know what you're going to say and I get it. Me too, but you know what, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, we will try again. And if for some reason..." he shakes his head and I see he is getting emotional too. "Angel, we will get through it together. I love you and that isn't going to change. Let's find out, put our mind at ease then we can go from there." I turn away from him and he swings my hands a little in his. I look at him again and he is biting his lip in anticipation.
"Okay" I say with a nod. Immediately he picks me up, squeezing me into a hug. He kisses my hair repeatedly, moving down to my cheek and eventually my neck as he puts me down.
"God, I love you."
"I love you too."
"Now we can eat" he says and I laugh, following him back inside the restaurant.
