Ignitable

Ignitable - Chapter Twenty Nine

Cade... Nearly Two Years Later

From the moment my son is handed to me, swaddled in a baby blue fleece blanket, he instantaneously becomes swaddled in my love. How could something so tiny, make such a big impact? But our beautiful boy, he is already doing just that. Staring down at him, I can't quite believe that he is here. At eight months, three weeks and two days, he is finally here. What is even more amazing, is that his eyes are so wide and alert, as he tries to focus on my overwhelmed face. His daddy's overwhelmed face. The face that will always love him, no matter what. We have named him Noah. Every 6Ibs 10oz of him is just the purest form of perfect. Before he was born, I had read about not feeling disappointed if I didn't feel this huge rush of love when he is first handed to me, but I do feel this overwhelming rush of love for him. Just as I had felt when I saw his beautiful mother for the very first time, I knew that I loved her. With Noah, I feel the very same thing. Our precious boy has wonderfully and naturally, now come into this world. And he will wonderfully and naturally become our world. Mine and Sophia's, our deliriously happy world. Loving Sophia had already changed me, but fatherhood will undoubtedly change me even more. Looking down at Noah, I become all teary. Looking at the sticky tufts of dark hair upon his tiny little head and his adorable newborn nose, I just can't believe that I have helped to create him. Me? Cade Lapley? Has helped to create this human masterpiece? That is when my teary eyes peel away from my boy, to look across to his elated yet tired looking mum. Leaning over the hospital bed, I kiss Sophia's parched lips, over and over again. After a long labour, she is beyond exhausted. But my girl looks just as beautiful to me, as the night that I first met her. Some of her ebony hair is still stuck to her clammy face, so I sweep it away from her flushed cheeks and chin. "I am so proud of you, my darling." With a weary smile, she is helped by a midwife to stand. After some precious skin-to-skin contact with Noah, she is now ready to have a comforting warm bath. Cradling our boy, I follow both Sophia and the midwife, not really paying any attention to what is being said, because I am far too busy falling in love with my son. Making myself as comfortable as I possibly can on a standard plastic hospital chair, I keep staring down at Noah's tiny and aware face; still not quite believing that he is really here. Last night, he was just a bump. A bump that I would caress and talk to regularly. That bump, is now a perfect little human being now being held in my arms. It is beyond my wildest dreams. Reaching to touch his tinier than tiny hand, I love how his fingers grip around my little one. His grip tightens, just as my heart tightens with joy. This is my boy. Our cherished boy. It is now me, him and his beautiful mother, against the world. That is when my heart tightens with something else—fear.

To think that I could have missed this.

I could have missed holding my own son in my arms, and I could have missed how it felt to hold him in my arms.

Because before Sophia, I didn't want to be here. Before her, I didn't want to live. I never told Sophia that, because it was something that I didn't even want to admit to myself. My life was that dark and soul destroying, I no longer wanted to be a part of it. That is why I drank so much. I just wanted to drink myself dead. I wanted to drink, until I wouldn't wake up. Bringing my face closer to Noah's head, I inhale the wonderful scent of him. That baby smell that so many fondly speak of, I am breathing it in like it's the only air that I need. And that is when I fall apart. Noah's daddy falls apart. I could have missed this moment. I could have missed many more wonderful moments such as this. To think that I once thought that my life was so meaningless, meaningless enough to want it to be over; now completely breaks my heart.

From where she lies in the blood-tinged bath, Sophia weakly calls out to me. "It's overwhelming just how beautiful he is, isn't it?" Her smile is so sweetly jaded.

I will never tell Sophia why my tears are really there, so I stand up and walk the short distance to the bath. Wiping some of my tears away, I give my beautiful wife, the beautiful reason why I am here, the most affectionate smile that my emotional mouth can summon. "We made him. Me and you. We have made something so very special." Sliding my glassy eyes away from her sleepy grey ones, I stare down at the treasure that is safely swaddled in my arms. "He is just like his mummy...perfect." Then I reach out for Sophia's hand. As she places her dripping wet one in mine, I kiss her soap-scented knuckles.

"I love you." Are her quiet and lovingly coated words.

Kissing her damp fingertips, one tip at a tender time, I tell her what I know will always be in my heart. "And I love you." No truer words could I ever say. Sophia came into my life. She unknowingly saved my life. Loving her, gave me a reason to live. And her love, has taught me how to live. That exhilarating love of ours, has now given us Noah. I will live and die loving both him and his mother.

I will live, loving him and his extraordinary mother.

I will live, being happy with him and his extraordinary mother.

So when it really is my time to go. My time to die. I will be able to take my last breath, knowing what it was really like to love and be loved.

I will also know the joy of what being a parent can bring.

I will also know what being a husband and a parent truly means.

Everything.

Plain and simple.
It means everything.

The End

**DARN IT, I ALWAYS CRY AT THE ENDINGS OF MY STORIES...JUST AS THE INK IS DRYING.

SOOOOOO....IS THAT THE ENDING THAT YOU HAD WANTED FOR CADE AND SOPHIA??

IT IS ALWAYS A HUUUUUUUGE THING TO TYPE...THE END...BUT I HOPE THAT IGNITABLE IS A STORY THAT ALL OF YOU LOVELIES HAVE ENJOYED READING.

IF YOU HAVE, GIVE THAT GORGEOUS STAR A PRETTY LITTLE PRESS...AND GRAB ONE OF THE KISSES THAT I AM NOW BLOWING YOUR LOVELY WAY.

MWAH 💋**