Ignitable

Ignitable - Chapter Nineteen

Cade...

I can't do anymore work. I have taken and made important phone calls, been going through all the cases that I am committed to finishing before I leave this god forsaken place and working with my clerk, Tobias, to organise which cases we can hand over to someone else. I've done all of that, whilst feeling the crushing weight of what my mother has not long told me. Beneath its subduing weight, I am silently suffering; feeling so oppressively enclosed with still being here. I have tried to immerse myself in work, but can't take it anymore. My thoughts are too loud inside my head. Too loud to think straight. I stupidly messaged Sophia earlier, in a numb state of shock. I stupidly texted that I really needed to talk to her later on, and now I'm worrying that she might be worrying about that stupid text! I have to see Grant, he's the only one who can deal with the chaotic shit that's going on inside my head. But first, I need to see Sophia. If only for a brief moment, I just need to see her. "Tobias, I'm going out for a while...call me if anything important crops up." Thank god Tobias is still his usually efficient and very thorough self, because he's picking up my slack this morning, that's for sure. "When I leave this shitty place, do you want to come with me?" The blunt proposition comes without a smile. It is what it is; an honest job offer.

Tobias stares back at me, taken aback slightly. Noticing that I'm in a real hurry to get out of here, his answer comes just as quick. "Without a doubt."

Crisply nodding back at him, I grab my suit jacket off the back of my chair. "Good choice." Then I leave Tobias with that confident hint of small praise, because I have a far more important place to be. Without thinking things through, I am on my way to Sophia.

**

With sullen determination, I am eagerly pacing towards her little flower shop on the main High Street in Cirencester. With each purposive stride, the more I yearn to see her. Maybe once I do, my taunting thoughts will quieten?

Maybe they will be hushed by the soothing solace that I find in my darling Sophia?

The tinkle of the door bell announces my hopeful arrival. There are customers both inside and outside of the shop, but that doesn't swerve my determination in any way whatsoever. Spotting Sophia standing with two bouquets in her hands as she tries to encourage her attentive customer which one she should choose, I impulsively rush towards her, cupping her beautifully surprised face between my deprived palms, before kissing her mouth with firm but loving urgency. The intensity of my powerful kiss is one that causes Sophia to drop both of the beautiful bouquets down onto the concrete shop floor.

I don't care that we have an audience.

I don't care that this is how I introduce myself to Sophia's mother.

I don't care about any of that.

All I care about is having my lips pressed ardently hard against the love of my thoroughly tainted life. My possessive kiss is silently begging for her to just be patient with me.

To still love me once I have selfishly unburdened myself to her.

To still want to give us both a future, because that's all I am now clinging to with all of my insecure might.

As if she understands all that I am persuasively asking of her, Sophia holds me tightly; kissing me back. So I just as urgently wrap her in my arms, bringing all of who she so perfectly is, right against me. With her body warmly balanced against mine, I feel able to separate our locked lips. Gently resting my forehead against hers, I sigh out just how relieved I feel to be this satisfyingly close to her again. "I've missed you." My whisper is meant for only her, but the watching customers all answer with "Awww's" and "Oh's." Of the swooning and envious kind.