20. Don't ask me why

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(Beam)

I glare at the person with a sheepish smile on his handsome face... Wait. No! Let me rephrase that one...

I glare at the person with a sheepish smile on his 'stupid' face (better~) who has greeted me the moment I open up my apartment door. I have just fallen asleep this daybreak as I was wakeful the whole night, when the doorbell resonated to my whole room. I was jolted up from my bed thinking that it must be something important for that person to disturb me this early in the morning, plus the fact that it's weekend, only to be faced by the culprit of my muddled mind and sleepless night.

"Sawadee krub, Beam," Forth says in a sweet tone I can't recognize.

What the heck?!

I roll my eyes in exasperation. When did he have that kind of tone? Does he think he's some kind of a honeybee to suddenly become sweet? And why does he have to look so immaculate in his dark blue shirt and ripped jeans? (His stubbles are gone) While I am looking grubby with my sleeping marks, messy hair, and swollen eyes with dark bags under it.

Yes, I know I am looking hideous. The first time since I have been born in this freaking world (don't argue with that). I actually have thought of hiding from Forth when I saw him standing. But then I remembered he's the main reason for my look so he has to bare with it, albeit it may be the cause for him to leave me alone.

But it seems like he has no intention of leaving me alone as he just continues staring at me with amused eyes instead of a frighten one for what I look like.

"What? Is it your first time to see a newly awakened person?" I ask, letting a slip of annoyance in my voice.

"Didn't get enough sleep, huh?" he remarks as his eyes caress my sleepless face making me want to pull out his eyes from its socket so he could no longer look at me that way.

Yes! I'm being violent! This is what happens when I am lacked of sleep, and the very reason of it wouldn't stop giving me weird, unknown feelings that are always starting from drumming my heart, twisting my guts, and wrecking my mind.

"Obviously," I answer as I roll my eyes once again.

"Why?"

I quirk my brow up in incredulity. You even dare to ask that question? Isn't too obvious? You're the reason for it, asshole!

Everytime I would be closing my eyes, his elated 'stupid' face in the parking lot is what I could only see. Added his irking deep baritone voice that keeps on playing in my head like a repeat button in a playlist has been clicked, it just that there's only one song to be played in that playlist, which is his confession...

His confession that creates havoc in my whole system. I might be looking calm while talking with him, but in reality, I feel like flipping over all those cars, screaming all the profanities I know in different languages, and digging a big, deep hole where I can hide until everything clears up on me.

In other other words, it makes me confused...totally confused.

It's all greek to me and I have no idea how to deal with it...

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When he confessed that he likes me, I've got a hard time processing it...
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When he found out that I recall that night at the beach, I almost slipped out of my calm façade in panic...
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And when he declared that he would court me, I am doomed.

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