My Father's Beta

The Pull

Beth

I didn’t sleep at all that night, it was like I couldn’t. Don’t get me wrong I was tired, exhausted, but I couldn’t bring myself to sleep and every time my eyes would drop shut they’d open wide again because he wasn’t here.

Stupid Jim.

The more I thought about it the angrier I got with myself; I had promised myself that I wouldn’t make any attachments, promised myself that I’d stay angry at everything – I had ritually chanted to myself that anger was the key to the door of which beyond lies my freedom, and what did I do? I let it all go like a stupid punctured balloon. I practically flew away from the proverbial door.

Needless to say I was a crank. I hadn’t slept at all and my body was all out of whack, probably from the lack of sleep, but I just felt so sensitive, every noise was intensified inside my head, my skin prickled and felt sore to touch, it burned. 

Shakily I stepped out of my bed and wandered into my bathroom, turning the shower notch down to the coldest setting possible and jumped in. The relief was instantaneous except the longer I stayed there the more I felt it coming back, the cold water was only keeping the burning at bay for now... maybe I should go for a run?

My Wolf liked the sound of that, of course she always does, plus I haven't let her out since I came home. I was a little nervous to do it what with Jim and everything, the last thing I need is for her to go running to him. Then again he said he would be here all day, so as long as I go while he’s here it’ll be fine. I am a genius!

I dried myself off quickly and wrapped a towel around myself before padding my way back into my room and rooted for clothes in my unpacked bags... I really need to go shopping soon, I wonder if Fletcher would come? Maybe I should make a friend who’s a girl first.

Hmm, I wish my friends were here with me, it feels weird not waking up to one of them crashing through my door and poking me awake with a hockey stick, or crying because another guy had been a jerk, or them singing in all different keys... I miss them.

Sighing at my limited amount of clothes, I looked out of my window to get a weather check, sunny again hmm. I picked out a sun dress – a white version of the one I wore to my party. It would be less hassle to just to slip a dress on and off again since I was going to run today.

Pushing my feet into a pair of navy canvas pumps I walked out of my room and downstairs, it was kind of early still but my Dad was up, drinking coffee at the dining table. I watched him for a little while, all alone in this huge house he must have been so lonely. I found myself walking over to him and slipping arms gently his neck from behind while he read the paper.

He didn't jump, he knew I as there the whole time. “Morning, Princess, is this you actually giving me a hug?” He asked in mock surprise.

“Shut up.” I muttered, my chin nestled on his hair.

He chuckled and patted my hands. “Well, it’s very nice. May I ask what brought it on?” I thought back about him looking so small at the huge banquet table and it made my heart clench.

“It must have been lonely for you here all alone for so long.” Dad pulled my arms over his head pulled me around in front of him to sit on his lap.

“You didn’t have it easy either, and I had work to keep me busy.” His voice was soft  as he rubbed circles on my back. I knew he was trying to spare my tears telling me that he was ok.

“But when you got home the house would be empty, I don’t like picturing you all alone, it makes me sad.” I admitted.

“Well, I’m not alone anymore am I?”