The feeling of being loved

Chapter 1-Ahana

Ahana's POV:

"AHANA... AHANA..."

I woke up to the screaming of my name. I frantically looked at the clock. It is 6:30 AM. Ohh no... I am sure mom will scold me. Why? Because I should prepare tea by 6:30 and breakfast by 7.

"Coming mummy" I said and got up from my bed. I brushed my teeth and went to the dining room in 5min..

"Did you wake up? Did you have a good night sleep?" my mom asked sarcastically. "Sorry, I  think I should address you as a Queen, right?!!" she said gripping my arm.

"I am sorry mummy. I woke up late" I said hoping that she will leave me.

"But with your sorry will the tea and breakfast be ready on time on their own?" she asked angrily. I shook my head. She gripped my arm tightly. It is paining a lot. I tried to control the tears which are about to fall. My mom hates if anyone cries. But what can I do? It hurts a lot when she does like this and hurts more when it is my mother  who does like this.

"I will do it now. I will prepare breakfast on time. I won't repeat it " I said pleading her. She finally left me and I ran into the Kitchen and started making tea and breakfast simultaneously. After preparing tea, I went to the dining room. I gave tea and biscuits to mom and dad. My dad supports mom now. Before he used to oppose her and support me but later he started supporting her when she accused him of showing partiality between children, when in fact, she  is the one who shows it. Believe me, it hurts a lot. DO you know why she does like that? Because I am not as beautiful as my sister. I accept it because I used to have acne on my face and I used to be overweight whereas Charvi and my cousins are beautiful. 

But now I am not like that anymore. Yes, I do have the left-over marks of acne but I am in normal weight. Keeping that aside, who behaves with their children like that for these reasons? My relatives too  judge me by these. I feel like asking if they are educated people or not. It is not in our control to get acne or not. If it is regarding weight, yes I lacked exercise. My body regularly needs exercise and now I am doing it. I always used to tell myself that it is for my sake whenever they point out. But still it hurts a lot. I don't feel beautiful. There is a saying that beauty lies inside. It is easy to say this than follow.

"Mom... what is the commotion early morning?' asked Charvi, my sister coming down.

"Ohh darling... why did you wake up early?" my mom said brushing her hair. I wish she does that to me too.

"How can I sleep with all these screaming and all" she said rubbing her eyes.

"What can I do? Ask your sister. She does nothing correctly. She woke up late today" my mom complained. I feel like shouting at them that they can prepare their own tea. And regarding breakfast, only Jay (my brother) leaves early for office and Saanu,my sister-in-law can prepare something for him. But no... my mom doesn't even love me as much as she loves SIL(sister-in-law).

"Hey Ahana... Coffee" Charvi said and sat on the table. She doesn't know how to lit a stove also. I woner how she will manage after marriage. Yes, we in India, considers all these things with importance.

I went into the Kitchen and prepared coffee. I heard voices from the dining room. May be Jay and SIL are up. I prepared tea for them too.

"Is breakfast ready Ahana?" asked SIL. She is not bad and but she acts like high so that she will not look bad in front of mom. It should be my brother who should stick for me but he is too afraid to do that. So how can i expect from SIL when my own brother doesn't support me. See what a nice family I have.

"Yes, it is almost done" I said. I completed preparing breakfast and served them. Later, I cooked potato curry and rice. I prepared lunch box for Jay. He leaves at 8 as his office is far from house. He works in an IT company.

After Jay left, I went to my room and showered. I need to leave for college. I work in a private B. Tech college as an Assistant Professor in ECE department. The college bus arrives at 8:40. Luckily the bus stop is at the end of our lane. If I don't catch it then I will be late for college.

I wore a simple blue and white Punjabi dress and went down. My mom, sister and SIL are sitting in the living room talking. They can at least pack my box right!!! But I kept my comments to myself.

I packed a box for me and one for dad. My dad is working in accounts section in a company. My sister hates working. If I would have not worked like her then my mom would have thrown me out of the house by now. Anyways, I like to work. I am glad I am using my studies. After packing I left for college. I don't have time for breakfast.

I returned home at 6pm. Today I am so tired. I have no free hour because I covered for a colleague of mine since she is on leave. So, while coming I brought samosa for everyone and milkshake for Sam. Sam is my one year old niece. I like her so much. She is the only one in this house who makes me smile.

"Ohh, you have come? I thought you wouldn't come home today seeing that it is already 6" my mom said.

"It's ok mom. She might be with Dhruv" said my sister. Dhruv is my childhood friend. He is working in an IT company. He is my crush. When I found that I like him, I told Charvi thinking that she will support me. But she told mom. I got scolding's from mom. She warned me not to do anything that will spoil family reputation. Why will I do that? Since then they started teasing and scolding me on this matter.

"What did you do with him?" asked my mom sternly. See, is that even a question to ask a daughter.

"I didn't do anything. In fact, I didn't meet him today. I brought snacks. So it is late" I said and gave snacks and milkshake to SIL. I went to my room, freshened up and came down to eat snacks. When I am about to take one, my mom interrupted me.

"Stop. Did you see yourself in mirror? You look so awkward. You need to lose weight. But you are still eating these oily items?" she asked seriously.

"I am in normal weight now" I said.

"What about your acne?" asked Charvi.

"They stopped coming. They are reducing" I said.

"When they reduce completely then you can eat. Now go and prepare dinner" said mom.

"I am so tired" I whined.

"Stop whining. It is so horrible to listen. What will you do at home then? DO you think it is a hotel where you can come to eat and sleep?" mom yelled. I shook my head.

"At your age I got married and taken up house hold responsibilities. You are good for nothing. We prepared lunch and it is your duty to prepare dinner" she yelled.

"What about Charvi then? She never prepared anything" I said losing my patience. I got slapped on my face by mom.

"How dare you to compare yourself with her? She is younger than you? And I need not worry about getting matches for her. She is beautiful unlike you" mom yelled. It really hurts. I ran away from there and went into the Kitchen to prepare dinner. I prepared Lady's finger curry and tomato pickle and arranged the table.

Everyone assembled for dinner. I served their plates and sat down on the chair.

"You better eat less for dinner" mom said. I am so hungry but I did as she told. I ate only curd rice. I cleaned the table after they ate and went to my room. I feel like going away from here. I saved some money which i earned from my job. I can join ladies hostel or opt for a sharing apartment. Since I have a stable job, I have no problem with money. But how to go from here?

Why can't my life be normal? I cried myself to bed.

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Hi Guys... this is my second story. Thank you for reading.

My first story is "What's happening to me?" Please read that too.

The picture which I added at the starting is to describe Ahana's life. She is lonely and sad. Getting wet in rain is a different thing. But the feeling with which we get wet matters. The picture describes that sad feeling.