His Greatest Emotion [Druna, Harry Potter]

Chapter Thirty One

So, I've finished my exams! wohoo! Now that I'm officially on holiday I'll be uploading more often. And since this story is soon coming to an end, I'll be writing a new fanfic. Any suggestions of what it should be about? Don't forget to vote on this, merci beaucoup <3

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Draco Malfoy sat silently watching the fire burn. He would sporadically sit in front of the fireplace and just look at the flames; the way they burnt reminded him a bit of himself. The way they ate into the wood mirrored the situation he was in; the pressure that hanged around his neck, like his very own albatross, that slowly degraded him - reduced him to a point and vanish.

The hollow feeling that bore him onwards, and the throbbing pains in his chest like great pistons crushing him down made Draco feel dizzy. How am I going to go through with this, he thought to himslelf. His family were counting on him. This was the only opportunity that would make his father proud. The only solution for their problems.

The only thing stopping him, however, was himself.

Draco realised that everytime he was faced with a problem he would run away from it; run to his mother and she would take care of it. Make him feel safe. But this was different. Draco couldn't run to his mother and count on her protection. On the contrary, his family were counting on him to protect them.

During these moments of thought and realisation, Draco Malfoy couldn't help but to curse his father. Curse him for ever leading them to this. Of course, it was his father's fault! Draco never wanted to become what his father is. He sorely disliked being a Death Eater.

But Draco knew it was too late to change his fate. He had to crack on and face his fear.

Taking one last look around the common room, he remembered all the times he spent in here. The good times he obviously took for granted, but nevertheless times that he will surely remember forever. It was clear that from this day onwards everything was going to change.

All the pranks and chats that took place inside the common room were going to become scarce. Darkness was going to creep over this school, and haunt each and every living student's soul. The Dark Lord had risen and was now striking his vengeance on whoever crossed his path.

It was a scary prospect, but one that was inevitable.

As, Draco stood up and pushed his way out of the common room trying to control himself and gather his strengh, he couldn't help but to think of Luna. Yes, he wanted to forget about her due to her distraction; however, her good ambiance had taken an effect on him and he simply couldn't let her go. He was forced to deal with her as he took on his mission, even if she was at the back of his mind.

Malfoy knew he had to do something before he could go on. Potter's words had truly stung him and he couldn't just lose her to him without truly telling her how he feels. He knew that the first time he tried to write her a letter was a disaster, but a letter was the only way he could put his feelings across. Draco wasn't good with words, and couldn't just tell Lovegood how he felt. Although, he had already told her how he felt about her, he didn't want Luna thinking that somthing was wrong with her when she woke up and didn't notice him by her side.

So, as casual as he tried to look, Draco Malfoy entered Snape's potion class and ripped a page from a book and took a quill. Determined as he was, he didn't care who saw him at the moment. Professor Snape would be horrified to see him waste time like this, but Draco simply didn't give a rat's ass. He took a deep breath, focused on the way his blood pumped around his hollow body, and thougth of Luna.

Dear Luna,

I have an ocean of turmoil in my heart and a lifetime’s worth of sin in my soul. I can't force you to forgive me, although that's what I long for most. I'm sorry that by the time you'll be reading this, I would have already caused great dissapointment and grief. However, I hope you believe me when I tell you that I had no choice.

I have been forced to face things that I would rather run away from, hide in the deepest crevices of my brain, than deal with. But I can't run away with what I am faced with today. I’m not wise and considerate like you. I don't know what to do. 

I'm the boy who made all the wrong choices, but never would I say that choosing you was wrong at all. 

You taught me so much, and I want to thank you for that. Even though, I don't know what the outcome of today might be and what will happen to me, I sure know one thing.

The times I’ve spent with you were the brightest, most prominent and the best of my life. Last night, I will treasure with me forever. I'm sorry I couldn't be there when your pretty little blue eyes saw the sunshine, but I couldn't let you bare my grief.

You have changed me, Luna. You have encouraged me and guided me to become a better me and for that I am thankful. With you, I felt things that were truly foreign to me but things have made me feel alive and whole.

However, I'm damaged and you're whole, but whenever I was with you I always felt complete. Now, I know you will probably hate me by the time you read this, but I hope you understand why I've done it.

This destiny has been sealed and if I place my cards wrongly, I will die and my family will suffer along with me. I'm sorry, Luna. This may be hard for you to understand by please understand that I love you.

I'm in love with you Lovegood. You're beautiful and smart and make my world brighter by just smiling. I don't want to lose you to anyone else. You're mine. Please make it stay that way.

I'm sorry for what I am about to do, but please continue to believe in me. If you choose not to, I totally understand. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope you will find it. I hope that one day, you'll find it in your good heart to forgive me and allow me to love you like the way you deserve.

Forever yours,

Draco.

And with that, Draco sneaked to Luna's table, rolled the piece of parchement and put the letter on her chair. He sighed and quickly left to the Room of Requirement where he knew some special guests were eagerly waiting to flood into the castle.

The time was here.