Broken // XiuChen

T E N

(a/n: long ass chapter coming your way)

Xiumin's POV

Ever since Chen got suspicious of Suho cheating it's become nearly unbearable to be near them.

It's clear to see that Chen wants to go back to normal, but it's as if Suho doesn't want things to go back to normal or else his way of behaving towards Chen is pointing that way.

Since I know the truth, I know Suho doesn't want that. At this state in their relationship it doesn't matter in what way Suho has thought of breaking up with Chen, because it's gonna tear on Chen emotionally anyway and it makes me furious.

Since we practice all day at the studio to get ready for the tour, I'm pretty sure the boys feel this conflict too. Tao had told me that Kris had found the whole situation incredibly weird. He didn't understand how things could go from being great to sad in a matter of days. He told me Kris felt uncomfortable being in the dancing studio, because of this situation, but that he does it anyway 'cause he loves them, also because he wants to work on his career. 

I also heard Lay talking with Baekhyun on the hallway of the dorms and they're both worried about SuChen.

Something is bound to happen soon. This cant keep on being this way. It's draining us psychologically and emotionally.

- - -

We're currently packing our suitcases since the tour starts tomorrow morning. Everything seemed to go fine for a while. We were laughing, making jokes about the boys and telling old stories to each other. But then it all became quiet and a weird tension started to build. It made sense why when Chen suddenly bursted out:

"Xiumin, I can't take this anymore. Why is Suho acting so weird towards me? I don't like it and it makes me frustrated. I want answers!" I looked at him, surprised by his outburst, but I knew it was bound to happen. The way everything was tearing Chen apart, it made perfect sense that he had an outburst.

He sat down on the bed, while I still stood up looking at him. I was at loss for words. I wanted to tell him everything, I really did, but I'm not in that position. Suho has to, but I have a feeling he's not planning on it, which I don't understand since he wants to get rid of him so bad.

"I just want things to go back to normal. I just want Suho to love me like he used to. I just want him to kiss me and hold me the way he used to," he said, his voice ending out in a whisper. His eyes darted down towards the floor and he let out a sigh. "I love him, Xiumin. I love him so much, but it just feels like he doesn't care about me anymore." He looked at me with hurt in his eyes. It was unbearable to look see him like this. What am I going to do? It was out of the picture telling him a lie.

I let out a sigh and sat down beside him. I made a move to take his hand, but I thought against it since he's in enough trouble with Suho to possibly wanting to hold my hand.

"I know Chen, I know. Just give it some more time. Maybe things will change when the tour starts," I wanted to throw myself at the wall for not telling him the truth, but I don't think it's the right time yet. He's going through so much, so I think when things has settled down a bit and Chen has fallen down, I'll tell him.

Chen sighed and rubbed his head.

"It's just so exhausting all this. I have to be 100% focused on the dance practice, while still keeping in mind how to fix things with Suho. I just don't understand why he suddenly acts this way, but I guess I'll find out sooner or later," I nodded while listening to his rant. I wish this would just end soon.