Their own definition of perfect(solangelo au)

Ripped skin.

Trigger warning: self hate/self harm/ suicide and such...

"Nico...you know its not true..." Will's voice filled with fear.

"sure it isn't Will!" Nico yelled back sarcastically.
"Nico...this is no time to be sarcastic." Will said firmly.

'Will! you know its true!" Nico said, quickly avoiding another possible argument.
"You aren't really..believing the voices..are you?"
"why shouldn't I!?"
"Because, they'll only drag you down."
"You don't know anything I'm going through!" Nico yelled, his eyes on the brink of tears.
Will was silent, he couldn't speak up. He did not trust himself to.
"So what!? Its not like I have purpose here!" Nico huffed, tears spilling from his eyes, when Will does not respond.
"maybe not then..." Will said, stepping closer to the boy, placing a had on his cheek, "but you will now." Will said, leaning closer, lightly pressing his lips to Nico's. It was a warm sensation. It made Nico melt into Will, instead of scolding him for the physical contact.

Will's back arched, keeping his feet and legs hard and sturdy. His expectant: for Nico to pull away. He does not. He takes it, like a request, an opening, a crossroad. There was minimal things in Nico's eyes, only two requests: help me. and, Save me. and one statement: i love you. Will felt the heat rise to his cheeks. He ignores it. Will keeps his arms, wrapped tightly around Nico's skinny back and stomach. Will can feel his spine and rib cage. Will holds on tight, as if, any second Nico would turn to mist. Will's arms moving towards his upper back. Nico's sliding down Will's chest, searching for something to grab on to, until he is balanced on the ground. Will and Nico's body's, both sank to the floor. Nico's legs tightly and security, wrapped around Will's waist. Will held Nico tighter. And felt as if it were all a dream, and Will would wake up, from an uncomfortable slumber, on yet another, one of Nico's hospital beds. But he does not. He is still there minutes later. With Nico Di Angelo clutching his chest, breathing unsteady. Will had to admit. He liked it-no he loved it. He loved Nico. He loved the closeness of their bodies. He loved feeling Nico's heart beat. Feeling Nico's body warmth next to, and on him. He loved Nico so much. Will loved Nico so much he lied. Lying normally was careless and a show of untrust. This relationship lying was what kept the other strong. Protecting the other from things that would brake him. And keeping them innocent, ignorant and unharmed. Even if for a small time.

However, most lies do not last.

"Nico...your not the only one..th-that hurts.." Will said, trying to stay discrete about just who was hurting.
Nico gasped, covering his mouth. He clinched his eyes. And Will knew, that the voices were returning. Will, immediately felt horrible, and touched the side of his face, "N-Nico, I'm sorry-"
"Will, stop." Nico grabbed the hand Will put on his cheek. "I'm. Sorry. I'm sorry I never thought you could be hurting as much as me."
"NIco, its my fault I never told you..."
"You were trying to protect me." Nico stated, his eyes tearing up.
Will cupped Nico's cheeks, "shh, it's alright, just, focus on me..."
"Will stop!"
Will, shocked, he pulls back, as an instinct. Will then strokes his cheekbone, Nico, so strone out of emotion, doesn't draw back or blush in the slightest.
Nico looked down, his bangs falling in his face, "Will, I know you want to help me, and make me feel better but...please don't. I can't do this. I can't have you act like everything's fine, when your just as torn up inside as me!"
Will taken aback, no one was ever really around to pick up the pieces. Was it possible Nico could be it?
_
How could I have never noticed Will's pain? Nico asked himself.
The voice inside of Nico whispered: Because you're a terrible person.
The voice inside now Nico recognized the voice. It was his own. His conscious. A second sense. His bad side...but ever so much..him.

Nico did not trust himself.
He did not trust his judgement.
He did not trust the things he did.
But then again...who could he trust?

Nico pulled at his hair, giving a shock of pain. Not enough. It says. And Nico agrees.
Nico searches again. Curse this tiny suburb town! Why is there no place high enough to jump from?! The knife Nico...right. Of course.
Nico takes a deep breath, and crept to the kitchen.
The Hallway that led to both the kitchen and the living room, his father in the study, and Hazel in the kitchen. "Merdra." Nico let the curse slip from his lips.
Blake-the current Jack Russell they were fostering-as soon as catching a  glimpse of Nico started to yap, running toward him. "Er-uh, Merdra! Down Blake!"
Hazel lifted her head, her hands the covered with charcoal. "Hello Nico, I was a bit worried when Will came running out...you alright?"
I can't do this. Nico told himself. Not with Hazel..
I knew you couldn't do it you coward....
I'm..no..coward..

"Hey Hazel," Nico gave His sister a side hug. Pecking her on the cheek. His other had fumbling with the lock that was put on the knife drawer.
Merdra. When was this put on?
"Hazy, you got a pair of scissors I could borrow?" Nico asked innocently,
"Of course Nico, there should be a pair in my art cubbor up in my room."
"Thank you," Nico, then leaving, heaving a sigh, climbing the stairs again to this time Hazel's room.

Nico found a pair of simple, metal scissors, he let out a short chuckle, and began to once again. Rip his skin.