Their own definition of perfect(solangelo au)

end it

trigger warning: self harm/ self hate/suicidal stufffffff

Dark. Blood. Alone. Pain. End it.

'I can't make it to the end of summer.''
Nico thought to himself.
'Then end it'' said another voice. One that hadn't spoken up for a while. One he hadn't heard since his mother's death, or Bianca's, or his foster mother's death. Now it had come like an unmistakable wave. One just waiting to scoop Nico up, and send him above. ''No one would miss you.''
''Y-your lying.'' Nico said hoarsely.
''But am I?"
''Hazel would miss me''
'She made new friends, remember''
''M-my father would''
''That father you met less than a week ago?"
''W-Will.''
''Face it Nico, he doesn't need you. He doesn't need you as a burden. He doesn't care about you or your problems. Let us take over.''
''Never.''
''Have it your way. It'll only hurt more.''
'I don't care! I'll slice my wrist through!''
'Who said it would hurt you? I meant those you love.''
'No! It's not real! Your not real! Get out of my head!" Nico cried.
''Oh Nico Di Angelo...that's where your wrong. You can never ever get rid of me. I am you.''

''Sta 'zitto!" (SHUT UP!)

Nico panted hard, dropping to his knees. ''They will miss me...right?" Nico asked his little cat, that compassionately mewed. Nico picked up the cat, held it tight. Nico pulled out a black notebook, and began to write. Write, something of a bucket list. After he completed it. He would go. Most were simple things, ''graduate college'' see "Greece and Rome'' but the very last one, he couldn't bring himself to put on paper. He simply wrote one word, ''Volera'' (Will)
'You know how long a shot that is?" Asked the voice in Nico's head.
Nico tried to ignore, but he knew it was true. ''Young Nico, I anything but kind, I am the truth.''
''That's the problem. Did I ask for the truth?"
''Would you preferred to be lied to.''
''State 'zitto!" Nico yelled again.

There was the thumping, someone climbing the stairs, Nico hastily hid the notebook, grabbed the nearest book. Which happened to be, City of Bones. Reading American books was mainly how he learned English, rather than speaking it, or taking classes. Hazel and Nico both learned English gradually. Hazel, still sounding with a thick French accent. And Nico with his string Italian. Their father speaking form his LA voice. The only American in the house hold.

"Nico? we heard yelling,"

Hazel was more fluent, while Nico's vocabulary was wider. Hazel being better at talking, Nico better at reading and writing.

"nothing. thank you Hazel. Checking on me."

English was there 'common ground' Hazel did not speak Italian, Nico did not speak French.

''Nico....dad's worrying about you...''

''Well tell him not to!" He snapped.

Hazel visibly flinched. ''Uh-Hazel, I-I'm sorry. I-i didn't mean to-'' Nico turned away from Hazel, knowing he'd already done too much to undo.

Hazel ran back down the stairs wincing at every loud thump. ''Father...Nico isn't well..''

''I have noticed,''

''We need to help him...''

Hades lip curled to a frown. He could not lose his only son.
_

''Does Nico have a history of self harm or depression?" The lady over the phone asked politely, '

''I'm not sure, '' Hades said shakily.

''Are you free the first?"

'Of course.''

''Thank you for calling.'' The line died. And the voice on the other end silenced.

Now he'll only have to wait until Friday. Hades thought
_

Nico had made almost a month. He went to Will's house once in a while, or Will to his. But that didn't make it better. Everyday one would join the other, at one point Nico would storm out, or Nico would kick Will out. The two both trying to restrict from falling to deep. But it seemed simply impossible.

One day Nico and Will, Nico at Will's house. Will had leaned in, and attempted to kiss Nico, from behind him. Nico-afraid, and shocked, swung, punching him in the face. ''W-Will, I'm so so sorry!" Nico cried,
Will chuckled good naturally'. ''Aw, ya know probably just a black eye, no big, ''
''Oh my god Will!" Nico shouted. Nico wanted to touch him, tell him he didn't mean to, kiss him better, but was scared he's do something else.

'Now look what you've done Nico..'' Said the voice, ''you monster.."
''Your wrong. I'm nothing like you.''
'You hurt him.''
''I'M NOT A MONSTER!" he yelled trying to convince himself.

''Nico...''Will tried.
''Will...I can't..''
Was all Nico could manage

Now the voices in Nico's head spoke in sync.
''You deserve it.'' As Nico cut open his forearm.
It hurt. Sure it hurt like hell. But when he felt as he deserved it, it wasn't as big a deal.

His vision swam. A smile speed across his lips. 'This is what dying feels like.' As he bled out.

''Hey Nico what do you want to do?" Will asked, rolling up his window, when other was no answer, he said, 'Neeks? Your still not worried about last night are you?"

Will's heart's pace picked up, 'something's wrong' Will thought.

Will sprinted to the other house, running up the steps, he found Nico, passed out on the floor, grasping a knife, and bleeding heavily,

Nico gasped saying five words, ''I wanted to end it.''