Letting Him Go [slow updates] (unedited)

Chapter 4

Jessica

It's been a week since I told Drew about the conversation that I overheard Stephanie and Ryder having. These past couple of days have been more difficult than what I could've imagined. Seeing my own husband and his mistress together everyday has been more unbearable than what I could have ever imagined.

Maybe it was the fact that I knew that any day the man that I love can leave me and after all this time of trying everything in my power to make him return the feelings that I have for him, it would all be a complete waste. I don't think I can bare the day that Ryder tells me that he wants a divorce to finally be with the one that he loves when all I've wished for was that I was the one he loved.

Right now, I am sitting in my room staring at wall in deep thought trying to figure out what to do. Should I leave Ryder or should I stick through the pain and stay by his side for the remaining time that I had.

The banquet last week was...well it wasn't the greatest.

* flashback *

Ryder and I arrived to the banquet hand in hand with huge smiles plastered on our faces. Although they were fake smiles, we still managed to convince everyone in the room.

Ryder lead me to a group of men who were business partners of his company and we greeted each and every one of them and held small conversation.

After we finished greeting everyone in the room, Ryder and I made our way to our parents. After a few minute, Ryder excused himself and went to a group of his friends.

I sat at the table with Ryder's parents as well as my own and provided them with lies about how Ryder took me out on a few dates and convinced them that we were happily in love when in reality we weren't because I wasn't happy and Ryder didn't love me back.

After two hours of chatting with my family and talking to a few business people about upcoming events that Ryder's business were planning in order to increase partnership with other companies for Ryder, I realized I haven't seen Ryder in a while.

I walked up to Trisha to ask her if she's seen Ryder. "Hey mom, have you seen Ryder? I seem to have lost track of him."

"He left a while ago. He said he wasn't feeling well and was going home, he told me he already informed you of his departure? Did he not?"

"Of course. I just forgot. I'm sorry. I'll be on my way home and check up on him." I kissed her on the cheek as well as Ryder's dad, Steven, and headed out the door.

I climbed into the car and looked at mine and Ryder's driver, Harold confusingly. "Hello Harold. I heard Ryder wasn't feeling well. Did he get home okay?"

Harold looked at me weirdly and his eyes were filled with confusion. "Mr. Ryder is fine Mrs. Jessica. He told me to drop him off at Ms. Smith's house. Said he had some business to take care of."

* end of flashback *

That night I did not have an ounce of sleep expecting Ryder to call just to check up on me. I was a fool to even think he would. When I heard Ryder come home at 5 in the morning I had an ounce of hope when I heard his footsteps down the hall. I thought he was going to check to make sure I was okay, but when I heard his door shut close my heart dropped and I scolded myself for being so stupid to ever think that Ryder cared about me.

Now as I sat in my room more confused as ever I tried to remember the last time Ryder ever did anything nice to me that was not only because we were in public and he needed to put on a show, but because he truly wanted to. Unfortunately no time came up and that's when I made up my mind.

That is when I knew I couldn't live like this, not anymore.

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Hello lovelies!

This chapter really sucks.

To be honest I don't really have any confidence in the story but I'll stick through it and see where it goes.

I have a really good idea for what's going to happen in the quite distance future but we'll see how the story progresses and how I set it up.

Love,
Smileslovely