Bad Boy turns into a Good Boy

More Secrets

Jackson's POV

"Hey." I say when I heard someone's entering the living room.

"I'm going to my room, I didn't know that you were here." Mark turns around when he saw me playing video games in the living room.

I sigh, this has been going on for a year.

I missed my brother, we used to do everything together, we used to play video games together, we used to talk about everything together.

But all of it are in the past, not now, not anymore.

I'm so sick of this, but I know Mark really well, he'll never forget when someone hurt or betray him. God, of course I know him so well, he's my twin brother.

"Mark." I call his name without looking away from the screen.

"Can we just forget about what happened?" I continue, I know that it's stupid for me to ask him to forget about what happened, but I just want to try okay.

I heard him scoffed, "sure sure, whatever." which is clear already that what he meant is 'no'.

I heard him leaving the living room and back to his room.

I paused the video games. I'm blaming myself for what happened in the past.

I'm blaming myself for not knowing that Mark had feelings for her.

I'm blaming myself for asking her on a date that night.

I'm blaming myself for not telling Mark the truth about that night.

I'm blaming myself for being a coward.

I'm blaming myself for everything that I've done.

I know that I can't hide the truth forever, I know that Belle can't hide the truth forever, I know that one of us will reveal the truth very very soon.

Because let's just admit it, it is too hard to keep.

But I just, I just want to deny the truth. 

I just want to have a normal life. People might see that I have a normal life, but no, I have a lot of things going on in my mind.

I can't have a peaceful sleep knowing that she's dead because of me.

Every day, every night, I feel like she's watching me, it's like she's blaming me.

She's got right to blame me, because this is all my fault.

If only I didn't ask her out that night.

If only  I didn't get drunk that night.

If only I didn't call Belle that night.

If only I didn't ask Belle to hide the truth.

Now it's all too late.

I asked her out that night.

I got drunk that night, even when she asked me to stop drinking, I kept drinking.