ADRIEN:
(Self harm)
The blood dripped down slowly; it leaked out of the cut then ran along my arm, finally falling to the floor. I watched it, face empty and eyes blank, heart void of emotion.
Plagg was asleep on my open books while I was in the bathroom, battered and bruised after another beating. I ran the razor along my arm again, enjoying the pain it brought me. I deserved all this hell. I know I did. I was taught to think this way and so my mind obeyed, just as it should.
"And so I thought, maybe it's time ..." I spoke aloud to myself, voice hoarse. Maybe I should just end it once and for all. I gripped the razor in my hand, making it cut my palms. I bit my lip. There was no going back. But Ladybug. Who'll help with the akumas? Will I be replaced? I furrowed my eyebrows.
(End.)
Will I be replaced? The thought of someone else alongside Ladybug, fighting crime, angered me. It was our little adventure. And nobody else's to take.
I let the razor clatter to the ground as I shut my eyes so tight it hurts. Tears fell. Not today, either. Then when?
Arguing with myself because there's only myself to speak with. I sighed as the emotions pricked my heart again and pulled at my mind.
Tears continued to gather at my eyes as realization of what I was doing dawned on me. Correction: of what I was doing again. Why was I so weak. What was wrong with me?
You know, there's only one way you can end this.
"SHUT UP!" I shouted to myself. This place was driving me insane. I had to get out of here. The walls suddenly seemed to draw in, suffocating me. I didn't care if Plagg was sleeping: I had to get out of here and fast.
Quickly wrapping my arms in a white gauze after hastily cleaning the cuts, seeing as I couldn't be bothered to fix it up properly, i shouted, "Plagg, Claws Out!" hearing a surprised 'WHAAA!' from Plagg.
I quickly turned into a hero of Paris and jumped across the rooftops, getting to patrol a good hour before we were meant to start.
And I spent that hour just gazing down, people-watching. There was a little girl laughing as she hugged her mom, holding a present. My heart burned at the sight and the poisonous tears ran down my cheeks. I brought my legs to my chest as I watched it play out.
The little girl opened her present, squealing in happiness when she saw that it was a Ladybug plushy. Her mom smiled at her, taking her hand and saying something I didn't hear. Then they walked away, the little girl still having that beautiful smile on her face, depicting true happiness.
I put my head in the gap between my chest and my legs, feeling the water pour down my face like a never-ending stream of despair.
After crying for some time, I heard someone land beside me and froze. Had it been an hour already? Was I truly that weak as to spend an hour just crying?
"Chat?" Ladybug. My heart wrenched at her voice. Why did she always have to come when I was in my weakest state? Quickly getting up and facing the other way, I wipe away the tears as she looked around.
"Yup, that's me," I said weakly, trying to display a smile. Please realize it's you who I was talking about. I want you to know, but at the same time, what will happen if you know?
"Umm, listen," she began. I froze. Don't mention it. Don't mention. Do mention - no. Don't. "I— about ... what you said before..."
Pound it? What happened to the 'forget about everything'?
"Who— who is ... this girl?" She asked hesitantly, stumbling over her words.
That question took me by surprise. "Is a certain Ladybug jealous?" I forced myself to tease, knowing that's what the normal Chat would do, knowing that's what I would do if i wasn't drowning.
"No! No, I just ... want to know. Curiosity," she said, too fast.
I displayed a smirk. "Curiosity killed the cat."
She glared at me, snapping, "Well knowledge brought it back."
"Fair enough. But won't this give you a clue as to who I am in real life?" I asked, trying desperately to delay.
She shook her head, then paused mid-way. "I mean ... I guess. But not really. C'mon, what're the odds that we know each other in real life?"
"You already know I go to school, so do you?" I questioned, changing the subject.
She stiffened. "Kitty, no questions about our civilian lives — although crushes do give hints, it's not the same. And yes. But I only said that 'cause I already know you go."
I sighed. "Fine. I'll make a deal. I'll tell you who this girl is and you tell me who your crush is?"
She blushed at the mention of her crush, making my blood boil. "Nevermind. How're you doing, Kitty?" She asked suddenly.
I could feel the gauze beneath my suit rubbing against my skin as though mocking me. Go on. Tell her how you're doing.
"F-fine. Great, actually," I said hastily, feeling like she knew I hurt myself and was testing to see if I'd tell the truth.
She narrowed her eyes. "Actually, I've been meaning to ask you. The ... day you said, umm, that — the mistake, uh, that you, loved ... me?" I cringed as I thought about it. "You were acting ... weird."
Almost like you were ... high. Shut up.
Please be an oblivious person and don't pick up the truth.
"What was that about?"
"I was just tired. I told you. With school and exams and being a hero, I barely get the time to sleep and relax. Look, as much as I would like to chat, we have to get patrolling," I said, shame rising in me whenever I thought about that time.
She face palmed. "Make one more pun and it'll be you I'm fighting," she warned in exasperation as we walked along the roofs.
a/n: i know this was a really dull chapter, but marinette is becoming a bit suspicious, finally. also, i was wondering:
• Adrien finding out Marinette's identity first.
• Marinette finding out Adrien's identity first.
• Finding out at the same time?
YOU ARE READING
listen // mlb fanfic - complete
Fanfiction(COMPLETED) Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction - Adrien is Not a Model. He's an abused, broken boy. Ever since his mom died a year ago, he's been abused by his father, who takes his anger out on him - his only son, Adrien. The secret superhero tries to...
