listen // mlb fanfic - complete

(19) / ცąცყ-ცƖųɛ ɛყɛʂ

gasoline is the best - edited.

ADRIEN:

Nino was drawling on about history homework being too hard when the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the lesson.

About a minute in, Marinette burst in, capturing everyone's attention.

Her face turned red as Mme Bustier said sarcastically, "Late again, Marinette. What's your excuse this time? If it's really imaginative I might let it pass."

"Uh—I ... overslept?" She said with uncertainty, eyes darting around like a deer caught in headlights. The teacher sighed and Marinette went to her seat, still redder than Ladybug's suit.

A few minutes before the lesson ended, I felt someone staring at me and I turned around, my eyes meeting Marinette's.

Marinette squealed, blushing and quickly looking away. I didn't. Something about her eyes ... they seemed so familiar; comforting.

Frowning, I turned around and tried to pay attention, the memory of where I saw those baby-blue eyes tugging at the back of my mind.

As the end of year drew closer, so did something I dreaded: Finals time.

Stress filled me. I could barely keep up with being a superhero, studying, homework, school, and the beatings, but now I also had to study for the finals? I winced in pain as I let my head fall to the desk. I hardly get any sleep as it is, I'm definitely not going to do well. I'm good in school, I like it in all honesty; it gives me excuses to stay as far away as possible from that wretched house. But at the same time, it's hard balancing everything out.

Frustration built up inside me. Frustration of everything. Especially for Father. He has taught me to hate myself inside and out, to loathe - to despise - everything about me. And he didn't think that was enough. He abused me and hurt me both mentally and physically. And even if I escape this nightmare, I will never truly escape. It'll always come back to haunt me, all those horrid thoughts and all those mocking voices, they'll come back. It won't end just because Father's out of the way.

Because you already taught the horse to fear the whip.

That night, he beat me again. And it hurt so much. Everything was so tiring, I was so tired. Why didn't he just stop. What was his problem? Completely exhausted, I fell asleep with angry thoughts and a depressed heart, with the stench of alcohol and a needle in my arm for the second time that year.

I woke up ashamed, yet again. I deserved to die. I deserved whatever pain Father gave me. I did. I did. And every ounce of pain I gave myself.

I glanced down with empty eyes at the needle that pierced my skin. I probably should've been more careful as I entered it. Biting my tongue as I painfully took it out, i realized it had bruised again.

(Self Harm)

Barely a minute later, I found myself with a razor in hand, arms cut.

You need to stop, I told myself as I glanced at the metal now glistening red with my blood. But it's like alcohol for some people. It's so addicting. The pain, the way the red liquid flows down ...

I shut my eyes tight, letting the razor clatter in the sink. What was I doing. Why did I do this to myself. I have to stop. I'm pathetic enough as it is. I don't need this in my life as well. I threw it in the trash with barely any second thoughts, not bothering to rinse off the dark red blood that covered it.

🔅 ~ Would You Forgive A Poor TimeSkip For Skipping (a lot) of Time? ~ 🔅

I fell asleep on my desk as I waited for the time to finish. It was the last final exam, and I had just finished my paper, eyes dropping with lack of sleep.

As I walked out the gates with Nino by my side, talking about DJing or something, Marinette walked up to us.

"Hey, Adrien!" She said, hands behind her back, looking a bit embarrassed. Nino immediately left, muttering shenanigans about asking Alya something, but I could've sworn he was wearing a smirk.

I ignored it and tilted my head in confusion. She was being normal. Okay, that sounded rude, but for some reason she always seemed ... intimidated by me. "Hey, Marinette," I said awkwardly.

She blushed a little. "I just wanted to say I hope you have a nice summer. And ... here." Her face reddened as she handed me a little gift wrapped in green wrapping paper.

I looked at it in confusion. "Why?" I asked, before realizing just how snobby and rude that sounded. "I mean! Thanks and all, really. I'm actually really touched. No one usually does this. So thanks."

She wouldn't meet my eyes, but her cheeks were on fire.

"But ... I'm wondering: why? I'm nothing special," I said. I'm nothing near special.

"You are! You're really cute and sweet and you honestly have a heart of gold! Anyone who doesn't see that is an idiot. You deserve so much more than what I gave, but—"

I cut off her rant with a little laugh (a/n: like the one at the end of origins: part two, when the umbrella closed over marinette.), feeling a bit good for the first time in my life. You're really cute, and sweet. "Thanks, Marinette," I said, a genuine smile playing at my lips for the first time in a long time.

Her blush deepened by double. "O-of course! I h-hope you like it!" Then she waved goodbye and ran towards Alya, her best friend, looking as if the world just gave her the best gift ever.

Then Nino came back, making me glare at him. "So ... Marinette, huh?"

My arms itched more than usual from the scars. "What?"

He smirked. "Nothing."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

a/n: why do i like poems so much? Also, i know this chapter seems rushed, but I just wanted to get it out of the way ...