Amour

Chapter 13

How long does it take to forget a person? How long does it take to completely erase a person out of one's heart, mind and soul? How much time does it take to erase a person that you spent almost two decades with? How much time would one need to let go of the person who gave you reason to live?

Nobody knows where I am. I haven't made any contact with anyone except for my family of course. But I specifically told them not to tell anyone where I was. I don't know what has happened since the day I left six months ago. And I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know how happy he is with her. I didn't want to hear him tell me that he doesn't love me. I wanted to forget everything including him.

I think I'm doing pretty well in the department of recovery. Somewhere along the way about a month ago it stopped hurting day in and day out. Only when I think of him does it still hurt but I don't think about him anymore. I finally woke up from my silly little dream. I should really thank him for that.

Feeling confident in my life after him I decided to give Jiyong a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jiyong its me."

"HYUNG! How are you? Where are you?" He exclaimed excitedly on the other side. I heard some rustling in the background.

"I'm fine. I'm in Hawaii right now."

"Hawaii? Did you have to go THAT far?" There was some rustling again.

"What's that I hear in the background? Is someone there with you?"

"Uh yeah Soyun is with me. She is in one of her freaky cleaning moods."

"Oh tell her that I said hi. So how is everything?"

"If you mean everything as in Sunghoon..." he started.

"No I didn't." I interrupted. I heard another rustle, it sounded like breaking glass. There was a brief pause then I heard Jiyong talking to Soyun. I couldn't hear what he was saying probably because his hand was over the receiver.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah she just dropped a glass that's all. Everything is fine. You were saying?"

"Jiyong ah I finally woke up from my silly little fantasy world I built for myself. I mean I'm way too old to be playing pretend anymore you know? Would you thank him for me for bring me back to reality?" I was a little bitter. There was dead silence on the other end.

"So its really over?" Finally breaking the silence.

"Yea I guess it is."

"Are you happy?"

"Right now, no. But with a little more time I think I'll be ok."

"Do you still love him?"

"What is up with this interrogation?" I was getting really annoyed by his questions. He is going at it as if I owe him an explanation or something.

"I'm sorry it's just that...well true love is very hard to come by so don't give up on it so easily."

"I didn't give up on him! He told me loud and clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me. Are you telling me to stupidly and blindly love him forever when there is absolutely no chance whatsoever he'll love me in return?"

"No that's not what I'm saying. I just want you to be sure."

"I'm pretty damn sure alright! Now can we drop this? If you're going to be like this every time I call then I'm not going to call you anymore."

"Ok ok... So what's up with you?" He asked cheerfully.

We talked for about three hours catching up on each other's lives.

"So that's everybody except... You sure you don't want to know?"

"Yea..."

"Hyung...are you really going to cut him out of your life like that? Is nothing salvageable? Not even friendship?"

"Not now Jiyong. It still hurts too much."

"So you do still love him?"

"Yea..." I sighed. "Look its getting late er early. It's almost dawn I have to get some sleep. I'll talk to you later." My eyes were pretty heavy by then.

"Oh ok. Bye hyung!"

I went straight to bed after I hung up. It was about 4am.

About a week later I was doing the dishes one night when someone rang my doorbell. I was quite surprised because since I've been at Hawaii I haven't exactly spent much time socializing. Rinsing off the soapsuds on my hands I grabbed a towel and quickly dried them. I opened the door and found myself staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes. It was him.