Amour

Chapter 6

I just got back from grocery shopping. Yes I bought more chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bars, two boxes. Wouldn't want what happened the other night to happen again. But I have to admit it was very arousing, rolling around the floor, my body against his. Can't deny that I didn't enjoy it. But its best that never happen again...I have to remember that I have to get over him.

I fumbled around my pockets for the key. Finally I managed to open the door while balancing all the bags.

"I'm home!" I yelled. There was no answer.

I went into the kitchen and set the things on the counter. Exhausted I headed into the living room. I flipped on the TV. I was giving my thumb a good workout as I channel surfed. Nothing interested me. 'Wonderful! Fifty somewhat channels and there is nothing on. Why am I paying for this again?' I glanced at the clock. It's 6pm. 'I should start dinner... Where could he be?' Then I suddenly remember that he was going out with her tonight. 'Well then there is no rush to start dinner when the bottomless pit is not here.' I yawned tiredly. I closed my heavy lids and let myself drift off to slumberland.

****

I woke up dead sore from sleeping on the couch. I looked at the clock...10pm. My stomach grumbled demanding me to feed it. I got up and went into the kitchen. 'What to eat what to eat...' Since it was only me I settled upon ramen noodles. I grabbed a pot and started boiling some water.

Fifteen minutes later I was stuffing myself with a bowl of piping hot instant noodles. Ten minutes later I was done and full. I tried my luck with the TV again...nope nothing! 'God I have no life!' Bored out of my mind I decided to shower and do some work instead.

****

I tore my eyes away from the paper I was working on and glanced at the clock...1am. 'Where is he?' I was getting more than a little worried. My mind started playing all the possible horrible things that could have happened to him. What if he was robbed and left half beaten to death on some alleyway? What if he was hit by a car? 'Stop it Jiwon! You're acting like an idiot! You know damn well where he is.' Truth is I didn't want to admit to myself the most obvious reason. He was probably over there fucking her.

Images of them doing it keep flashing through my mind. I know I promised to get over him but I love him so much. I couldn't help myself. The heart is much stronger than the mind when love is concerned. Is it so wrong to love him? No it's not wrong to love him. I'm just putting myself through a whole lot of shit by loving him. But is it not up to me to decide whether all the pain is worth it? Yes but its only worth it when that love is returned. As the hours went by my heart was in agony because every second that he doesn't spend with me was every second spent with her.

****

It's 3 am. He was still with her. My heart was in so much pain. In the few hours my heart was beaten, tortured and left bleeding but it refuses to die. It wouldn't give up on him...stubborn little thing. I didn't know whether I should I be thankful or not.

knock knock

'What the hell? Its 3 in the morning. Who could it be?' I got up and opened the door to reveal a Jiyong supporting a very drunk and passed out Sunghoon.

"Oh my God! What the hell happened?" I demanded as I reached for my Hoonie.

"Well apparently Soyoung dumped him." Jiyong answered simply as he handed Sunghoon over to me.

"What?! How...Why?!"

He shrugged his shoulders. "When I found him at the club he was pretty much gone. All I managed to get out of his babbling was that they broke up."

"Thanks Jiyong."

"Hey he is my friend too. Remember we were friends before you and I were friends."

"I know I know."

"So..." he gave me a sly look. "Now that she is out of the picture you think you could win him over?"

I looked at him incredulously. "This is hardly the time or the place to even consider that!" I reminded.

"Oh please!" he rolled his eyes at me. "He is vulnerable right now so it's the perfect time for you to make your move. Get him when he is confused. If you wait until he is healed he'll just realize that one penis in a relationship is enough. Generally people are more willing to accept new ideas when they are confused." He lectured.

I stared at him not believing that he just said all that. 'What kind of whacked up job is he?' I started to close the door on him.

"Hyung!"

"What!" I glared at him.

"Nothing is given to you in life, you have to work for it! Including happiness. Think about what I said." With that he turned and left without me having to slam the door in his face.

I was surprised, he was right. Most of the stuff Jiyong spews out of his big mouth is crap but he somehow always manages to say the right thing when it counts.

I carried Sunghoon to his room and onto his bed. I started untying his shoes and slipping them off along with his socks.

"Soyoung...Soyoung..." he whined pathetically. He has a right to call her but it still hurts.

He kept calling her name. It was driving me nuts. Its like a knife stabbing my already wounded heart over and over again. I felt myself getting angry. I wanted him to stop calling for her. I did the only thing I could to shut him up. I placed my mouth over his.