Chapter Fourteen

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I was one of the first people to leave the set. I ran to my dressing room and into the bathroom. I locked the door, and stared at myself in the mirror.

How could i embarrass myself that badly?

Frustrated, i soaked my face in water, then leaned against the wall and slid down until i was hugging my knees. That's when the first of the tears came.

Knocking on the door frightened me. It was a pounding that onyl a man would do. I didnt say anything, and i didnt move.

"Haven." Dean's voice said. Then more tears fell, but i cammanded them silent. "Haven, come on, i know your in there."

Again, i stayed silent. He was only coming to embarrass me more than i already have, so why should i talk to him?

Just when i thought he left, the lock turned, and the door opened. Revealing Dean. I hid my face, trying to hide my tears as he came and wrapped me in his arms. His body soothed me, but my frustration forced me to remain hostile.

"Haven." he said, i heard the amusment in his voice. I took a breath in, ready to yell, but he shushed me. "Haven." he repeated, only this time it was firm, not just a joke. It forced me to look up at him. Jeez, i must look like a mess.

Now Dean smiled. "I didnt know you wanted to make our relationship public."

I hid my face again, and scooted away.

"Hey, hey, hey, i was just joking," he said.

I looked at him. "Do i look like i'm in the mood to be 'jokeing around,' Dean? Do i? Why cant you just leave me alone for once."

"Fine." he said. "If that's what you want."

"It's what we need, Dean. We cant be together. We are nothing alike, hell, we arent even compatible!" i told him, my voice still shaking.

He leaned forward and kissed me.

It was hot, and amazing, and shocking all at the same time. I felt my body shoulder shiver when he touched it, then he reached my face. He cradled it in both hands before looking at me with a smirk. "Is that compadible enough for you?" he said.

I stared at him, confused on if i should be angry or happy, so i stuck in the middle. "Yah, sure.." i said, staring at my feet on the ground.

A smile was creeping up behind me. My first kiss. Now i know what it's like. All those years, i had never even learned! Yah, i kissed Dean on a daily basis on the set, but this one was real. This one, he meant. I meant. It was all supposed to happen... And it happened just like any other fairytale movie. Perfect.

"Dean? Dean, my man! Where are you?" someone called.

Dean smiled, but it had no joy. "Hey," he said, "I'll see you around."

And then he left me, sitting here all alone.

I sighed.

When i got back to the hotel,  noticed no one was there. Cheyanne wasnt there, Danielle wasnt there, Dean wasnt there.

I called Cheyanne.

"Hey, girl!"

"Where are you?" i asked her.

"Oh, the cast and me and Danielle all went to the movies." she replied.

I suddenly felt left out. "What? With... Without me?"

"Yahh? We couldnt find you, i'm sorry!"

Then i heard Dean's voice in the background. "Yah. She's an amazing kisser."

My heart broke in half then shattered in a million peices. What had he said? He said: 'She's an amazing kisser.' Who had he kissed? Maybe he meant me. But would he embarrass me even more by talking behind my back to his buddies?

Heartbroken and almost into tears, i hung up. I ran upstairs into my room and cried some more. Either Dean was entrested in some other girl, or he liked to embarrass me whenever i'm not around. And what about Cheyanne and Danielle? They sure as hell arent innocent, either! They went without even telling me!

Maybe i could quit and just run away. Then i could die on my own without the help of others. I could die of a broken heart. Of hunger, of dehydration. Anything would be better than staying here feeling like a fool for trusting someone so easily.

But i knew it was crazy. I cant just pack up and leave. Where would i go? WOuld i become homeless, and made fun of by all teenagers calling me a hobo?

No.

I cant allow that to happen.

Not even for one, itty, bitty, second.

I have to stay here. Even though i will not like it, i will get a separate room, i will keep to myself, and any effection between me and Dean... well, i'll try my hardest not to show it.

Slowly, i started packing my stuff. Then, i went down to the lobby, and bought another room. Then i walked depressingly over to it, threw my bags on the floor, locked the door, and cried on my "bed."

This isnt the way i'd like it to end, but, until we leave Brooklynn, this is how it must.

So i stood on the terrace crying silently in the darkness, when it started raining. That's when i saw the limo park out front. They walked in the hotel laughing and shouting really loud. The guys were drunk, Cheyanne and Danielle maybe a little buzzed.

Huh. And they were mad at me because i drank underage.

Screw them.

Screw all of them.

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