Pain and Fame (Book 2)

Chapter 37 - I'm Fine

(Continued from last chapter)

I couldn't think, I didn't understand. I was in total shock, I didn't know how to feel. How are you supposed to feel when your abusive father dies? Should I be sad? I have no idea how I feel, but I feel tears starting to come.

"Maegan...?" Mitzie said while trying to console me.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped, and almost hit Marshall when my hand went up to swat her hand away.

Tears rolled down my cheek, and I don't even understand why. We had the worst relationship.

"Why are you crying? Didn't you hate dad?" Mitzie asked, and my mom sighed.

I paced around the living room, and clenched my fists as I tried to calm myself down. I honestly don't know how I'm going to deal with this.

"You don't understand because you were a baby! I'm not crying because I'm going to miss him, I'm crying because he lost his chance to be a father- "

"Maegan..." My mom said in shock.

"Yo, Marshall. Bust out the pink Alf shirt, I'm gonna make you some more money" Devon said as he walked through the front door.

"Now's not the right time, Devon" Marshall sighed.

"It's true! He had so much time to make everything right between us, but no. Now he's dead, and there's nothing nobody can do about it, because his own actions got himself killed!" I raised my voice as I spoke, and sighed deeply before I walked off to the kitchen.

"I'll go talk to her" I heard Marshall say as I walked into the kitchen

I sat up on the kitchen counter, with a million thoughts going through my mind. I sighed putting my face in my palms, and Marshall pulled them away.

"Talk to me" He said while looking me dead in the eye.

"There's nothing to talk about" I mumbled, trying not to make any eye contact with him.

"Your father just died, and there's nothing to talk about...? Maegan" He said, and turned my face to look at him.

"We had the worst relationship, and... I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I should cry, or be happy..?" I said in a soft tone. "He was in my life, but he wasn't there. Now, all the horrible memories are running through my mind. All of our fights, all the... I can't do this" I said, and hopped of the counter before walking to the front door.

I grabbed one of Marshall hoodies, my little purse, and walked out the front door, closing it behind me. I grabbed the keys out of his pocket, before slipping the hoodie on. As I walked to the drivers side, the front door opened, I turned and saw Marshall standing there.

"Don't do anything you'll regret later on..." He said, and I nodded my head before hopping in the car, shutting the door after I got in.

The silence of the car trapped me in my thoughts. I drove for so long, I got myself lost. The sun started going down, the sky looked pink, beautiful on such a depressing day. I don't even know where I'm at but, I pulled the car over, hopping out, and started watching the sunset.

I told Marshall I wouldn't do anything I would regret later on but, I'm totally ready to just let go. I turn my back to the sunset, and open the car door, grabbing my bag. After grabbing my flask out of my back, I twisted it open as I turned back to the sun slowly going down.

Before putting the flask to my lips, I thought for a minute. I can't get another DWI, I wont be able to go on tour. I turned around after closing the flask back up, and hopped in the car.

I pushed my key into the door, and turned it before walking into the house. The first person I came in contact with was Marshall, and he had worry written allover his face.

"Are you o-" Marshall went to say but I cut him off.

"I'm fine" I said.

(Marshall's POV)

"Don't do anything you'll regret later on..." I said, Maegan nodded her head before getting in the car and driving off.

I sighed as I turned around, and shut the door behind me. I want to help her but every time I do she runs away, I walked in the kitchen where everyone now was and joined them in their conversation.

"So... what did I miss?" Devon asks awkwardly. Poor guy didn't what he walked into.

"Kevin died" Maegan's mom says with a blank expression.

"You know who she's gonna run to, right?" Devon asked, and I furrowed my brows.

"Mhm" Mitzie said.

"Is there something I'm missing...?" I asked.

"Well big fella.." Devon said as he patted my back. "She's most likely gonna run to Mark" He added.

Why the hell would she go to Mark? I'm right here!

"Yeah, he was the only person she could go to, to talk about dad. He understood" Mitzie said, and I groaned. "Don't get mad, because something always goes down between them, and you'll need to be there" She said.

"I doubt she'll go to him, she knows better than that" Marilyn said.

Maegan still hasn't come home. I wanna go look for her, but I'm pretty sure she's smart enough not to drink and drive again. Especially right before her tour. The girls got home from school a while ago, and are now hanging out with Devon and Mitzie.

"How's Maegan doing? You know, with all this alcohol?" Marilyn asks as I put a lid over the pot on the stove.

"I really don't know.. she doesn't talk, but I was thinking cause when I went through everything I had to be ready for myself. I don't mean to make it sound cliche, but you have to do it for yourself, you know, you can't do it for other people. I think that if she gets help because of us, she'll probably go in fight the system, and come out going back to her ways" I said.

"You're right, but hopefully this will change her ways. She doesn't need to go through this again" She says.

"What do you mean again?" I asked.

"She went to rehab early 2009, I basically forced her to go. Things between her and Mark were bad, and she had gotten alcohol poisoning for the third time. She came out four months later clean, and happy. It lasted a while before she got into argument with Kevin, and she went downhill again"

Wow, I never knew it was this bad. She's been struggling with this for a while.

"Oh, and then she got with you. I swear she was the happiest I've seen her in years, but of course a lot of stuff has been triggering her lately" Marilyn added.

"I'm kinda speechless.. I-" I went to speak when the front door opened. I walked over to the door, with worry written over my face as Maegan opened the door, and walked inside.

"Are you o-" I went to say but she cut me off.

"I'm fine" She said.

(A/N: It took a while but I have all the chapters written for this story before Maegan goes on tour, so I'll be starting to work on my other stories more. AND AND AND I'll be changing up Maegan's name and her sisters name. The red lines under their names are irritating me haha.

till the next chapter <3

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