The Song Left Unstarted (Gerard Way)

Chapter 11 - Mama (Cont.)

- I don't know much about funerals, so sorry if it doesn't match up and stuff -

The church was filled with people. A lot of old people to be exact. It wasn't a very big church too, so we were all crammed in the whole place. My grandmother wasn't that old, she was 73 when she died. I didn't expect so many people, I didn't like it. I had been hugged throughout the whole viewing. A lot of people I didn't know came up to me and had talked to me about Helen; I didn't pay much attention. I didn't really care. The only thing that was in my mind was, "Why isn't her coffin open?". I couldn't remember the last time I had seen her, and I was hoping that today would be it. I knew that she had gotten into a car crash, but my mom had said nothing was severely damaged; her neck had just snapped. Gerard was with me the whole time, he stood behind me as I was greeted by strangers. No one had said anything to him. I felt bad. 

I notice my dad, his dark bags under his eyes make him look so pale. He's walking towards Gerard and I.

"Hi Honey, I've missed you." He says as he pulls me into a hug.

"Hey dad, I've missed you too." 

When we pull back from the hug, my dad looks at Gerard. He extends his arm, Gerard calmly shakes his hand, he is about to introduce himself when my dad interrupts him.

"You must be Jade's boyfriend?" He asks, there was a hint of excitement in his voice.

Gerard looks at me, and smiles, in return I shake my head.

"No, sir. I am Jade's room mate; we are just friends." 

"You sure?" 

"Yes dad, we're just room mates." I cut in. 

My dad laughs softly, his smile lowers. 

"So how are you? You tired of hugging everyone? Because I am." He jokes. He always did that. 

"Yes, very. Um, do you know why Grandmother's coffin is closed?" I ask, I needed to know.

My dad sighs, and looks at Gerard. Gerard looks at me, and wraps one arm around my waist. 

"I don't think you would want to see your lifeless grandmother, Jade. It's better of this way. I couldn't even look at her. She looked so... empty. "

"Oh." 

"C'mon, Jay," Gerard then says, " I think the service is starting now." 

We then walk up to the front, and we sit next to my mom. She looked tired. When I sat down next to her, she looked at me and smiled. She held my hand, and Gerard held the other. 

"You going to be okay?"

"Nope."

"I brought tissues, it'll be over soon. I promise." He whispers.

After the several prayers and readings; it was time for the eulogies. My mom had went first. She started crying in the middle of reciting hers, and had made a lot of other people cry. After that was several of Grandmother's close friends. Their eulogies being more positive than mother's; their eulogies were filled with memories. Memories that were longed to be relived.  Soon it was my turn. Gerard squeezed my hand before I got up. I looked back at him. He gave me a quick smile, and mouthed "You'll do great." And with that, I walked up to the podium.

"Hi, I'm Jade; Helen's granddaughter. Um, I didn't really prepare a eulogy, and that's because I wanted something sincere. You can never plan goodbyes, and you can never plan hellos. So whatever I say here, it'll will only be for my Grandmother. I can't remember the last time I had ever saw her, and that pains me. I can't remember how she looked last; I never got to see my Grandmother's corpse. That's probably a good thing, because whatever I am imagining is probably so much better than the reality. I was very close to her. She was the person who got me into art, and she was the person who got me through school. School wasn't a very good time for me, and she knew that. She would call me every week, just so she could check-up on me. She gave me advice, she guided me through everything. I can't thank her enough, and  I don't think I ever thanked her for it. So thank you Grandma, thank you for being there for me. Thank you for teaching me everything you knew. Thank you for inspiring me to do what I love. Thank you for getting me through the worst times, and thank you for being one of my only friends. -"

Then I remember what I said to her last. 

" Goodnight, grandma. May you rest in peace." 

I walk off the podium and back to my seat. My mother hugs me, she is crying. I am crying too. She lets go and says, 

"That was amazing. Thank you."

I nod. I look to Gerard, and he kisses me on the cheek. Before pulling back, he whispers into my ear.

"That wasn't so bad was it? You were great."

The rest of the funeral went by quickly. I wasn't sad anymore. I was able to let go of my Grandma, I felt that my speech was really the last thing I had said to her. I hoped she heard me, because she needed to know how much I appreciated her. As I watched the pallbearers take her coffin to the hearse, I felt at peace. I knew that she would be in a better place, she deserved to be. If there was a Heaven and a Hell, she would definitely be in Heaven. Because that's where she brought me. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be in the Art Course, and I would have never met Gerard. I would have never met anyone who had anything in common with me. Even when we talked, she was able to make me forget about everything that was going on. She deserves to be in Heaven, because that's where all the fallen angels go. 

Gerard held my hand through the burial. But he didn't need too. I was okay, for the first time in a long time too.

Grief doesn't change you, it reveals you.

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Ooohh a TFIOS quote.

Sorry this was probably a very crappy chapter.

A short one too.

I'll try to make the next one better.