A Slice Of Life

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Oliver Hall

Clara sat across from me. She took a sip of her drink and looked up at me. “You’re kind of pissing me off.” Yes, I was being awfully stoic, but I couldn’t decide if I should be angry or happy. She wasn’t thinking rationally. She should have waited until we both calmed down. But that’s Clara. Most people don’t expect it of her, but she’s terribly impulsive. Logically speaking, I shouldn’t be mad at her.

“Yeah, sorry. I know you came all the way over here for me, but would you still have done it if you thought over it?” I guess that’s what was really bothering me. Did I pressure her to come, or did she really want to come?

“Of course I wanted to come. More than anything. I would have come either way because you asked me, too. Is that settled?” I nod my head. Inside, I’m giddy with delight, except still a bit unsure. My insecurities have always gotten the best of me. “Good. Now let’s order. The first day of winter break I’m spending with you. Not Damian. So don’t make me regret it.”

That is true. The good part about today was that Damian wasn’t tagging along with us. Apparently he went to go visit a friend he had around here. Would we miss him? Of course not. Did it make me feel guilty that we didn’t act as welcoming as we should have? Of course. Damian and I actually used to be friends, back when he wasn’t dating Clara. “Well, what  would you like to eat, then?”

***

After eating breakfast with Clara, we went to the park nearby with the swings. Swings were our refuge. Whenever one of our sets of parents had a fight, we would retreat to the swings near my house. When we were happy, we would celebrate at the swings. When one of us was sad, we would spin around in circles on the swing and let ourselves unwind.

Sitting on the swings, we didn’t have to look at each other. We would just talk, and talk, and talk. There was no need to look at the expressions on one another’s face. This way there was no judgment. “Do you think Damian’s the one for me?” I’m tempted to look at her because I’m quite bewildered by this question.

“Honestly, I don’t think he’s the one for you.” I can tell she doesn’t stop swinging to look at me either. That was the pact we decided on. If we were ever on the swings together, it was a safe haven to tell all our thoughts.

“And why is that?” She sounded breathless. It made me breathless, but I continued the conversation.

“Maybe I’m jealous. Or maybe I want us both to stay single so that when we’re thirty and lonely, we’ll just be able to marry each other and be done with it. Maybe I’m selfish and don’t want to share you with anybody.” I pause for a moment. It seems as if I confessed, but I really didn’t. This is how we spoke to each other on the swings. We wouldn’t hold back, and after, both of us would lock these conversations in our hearts. Never to be spoken of again unless we were on the swings. “But I gather that the truest reason as to why I think he’s not the one for you is that the you with him is the you I like the least.”

“Why do you not like the me that is with Damian?” I suddenly want to stop swinging. I don’t want to answer this question. But I can’t stop now. I have to get it all out.

“I don’t like that you lose part of yourself. I don’t like seeing you think that you have to behave a certain away around him. I don’t like your belief that you have to give all your time to him. I don’t like that he wants you to give all your time to him. I don’t like that he always makes you go to his events to meet his friends and family, and you’re happy to do it. However, when you want him to go see your friends, he doesn’t want to. I don’t like how your life revolves around him. I just don’t like you with him.”

We swing in silence for a good bit of time. I can tell that may times we have both come close to saying something, but thought better of it at the last second. Out of nowhere, Clara breaks the silence. “Do you think that if you and I weren’t friends, then we would be something more?”

“Are you asking if we would be more than friends if fate hadn’t already decided that we were fated to be only best friends? Being more than friends is up to the two people it concerns. Fate doesn’t play a part in friendship. Fate may want us to end up on a certain path, but ultimately, it’s up to the two people to decide what they want to do. They can choose to stay best friends, or they can... try something new. So hypothetically speaking, just because we’re friends, it doesn’t mean we can’t be something more. Hypothetically, of course.” Will I regret saying this later? No, because I’m not allowed to regret it. It’s another rule of the swings. We never take back anything we say.

“Why don’t you ask me any questions? I don’t think it’s fair that you know all about me, but I don’t know nearly as much about you.”

“What do you mean by that? You know how I play Tic-Tac-Toe. I do virtually the same move every time. Same with Rock, Paper, Scissors. You know that I love my mum more than my dad. You know that my first crush was on a girl with the name of Emily Jones. You know that I don’t like vegetables. The only reason Mum thinks I like them is because when she’s not looking, you pick them out of my bowl and put them into yours. You’re number one on my speed dial. You’re the first person I think of calling if I’m in trouble. I think that you know everything there is to know about me.”  We know each other inside and out. If I were in  jail, I would waste my one call on Clara, even if she were half way around the world. “Ask me anything you want to know, and I’ll answer it.”

“Favorite color?”

“How on earth could you not know this about me? It’s midnight blue.”

“We’ve never needed to talk about such trivial things. We’ll continue this when we get back.” Clara started to slow down on the swings. She continuously hit the ground with the tip of her shoe in hopes of slowing down. I broke the rule and watched her face. It was scrunched up in concentration. I didn’t look away until I realized that I was at a good enough height to jump off. I braced myself for the impact and leapt off the swing.

***

“Favorite movie?” We were lying on my bed with our feet hanging over the edge. It was like a ritual. We would eat, go play on the swings, and then lie on one of beds for the rest of the night. This is where we would talk about things. Things that we knew were safe to mention. Tonight, we were playing the game of favorites. It had been Clara’s turn to ask me a question.

“Honestly, I was quite besotted with Pride and Prejudice. The one with Keira Knightley in it that you made me watch. But it’s certainly not my favorite. I guess my favorite would be Sherlock Holmes. The most recent adaptation with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr.”

“Mm. Those are both very good ones. As it so happens, Pride and Prejudice is my favorite movie. You’ve got some good taste, Mr. Hall. Your turn for the question.”

“Let’s see. Favorite song, then.”

“Well, there’s so many to choose from. You can’t really expect me to choose just one.”

“Ah, but this game has rules. You must answer the question with only one answer.”

“Fine. If I had to choose one it would be “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane. There’s something about that song. It has this calming effect, don’t you agree?”

“I do agree. However, my favorite song would probably be “The Liar and the Lighter.” I prefer the Gabrielle Aplin cover over You Me At Six though. That doesn’t make me seem feminine right?”

“Music is universal. It doesn’t exactly have a certain gender. If it sounds nice, it sounds nice. What’s your favorite book, then?” And the night went on. We talked through dinner, like we used to when I went into her room through the window. Through it all, we didn’t realize that Wes, Hale, and Ren left us alone. But most of all, we never realized that Damian hadn’t come home. And if he did, we had already fallen asleep.

***