White Rose - A Peter Pan Fanfiction

Chapter 32

The boys eventually awoke and when they did, I watched in plain exhaustion and saw their horrified expressions upon realising...we were all caught, captured in a single whim. I lowered my head just as James went to look at me, like I couldn't bear the shame. I allowed this to happen but at the same time...we had no nope against these adults. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I blinked away the tears. 

Killian had taken advantage of the silence and had repeatedly tried to convince me of the apparent truth...which was what he had been saying all along: I was nothing to Pan. I refused to believe it, because heck - I was captured because I proved to be his weakness in the first place.

Blinking emotionlessly, I further watched Felix stand firm and refuse to say anything, just like James. The three of us held our tongues...but the rest of the boys gave in, spilling Pan's details. Killian chuckled and turned back to me. 

"How many times do I have to prove myself?" he said and I took a deep breath, pursing my lips. I'd witnessed Pan say those things about me, about disregarding me after I bore a child. In all honesty, I can't remember how he had turned that around to make him seen innocent. The lump had formed in my throat again and I shook my head.

"You wouldn't be keeping me here if I was nothing," I grumbled but the pirate merely rolled his eyes. 

"Pan has never cared for anyone."

"Like you could know that."

"Don't you remember everything Ariel and I did for you?" 

"You left!" I yelled back, suddenly forgetting the lost boys' existence surrounding us. Oh what did it matter? Once Pan won and found out of them being traitors, he'd have them killed. Speaking of killed...

"I saw a route out and I took it," he sneered, holding his hook in my direction. "It was your decision in the end." 

"Because I -"

"It's not real!" he cut me off and my bottom lip dropped, my eyes confusingly and tiresomely staring into his own, ones that fuelled with annoyance and a droplet of anger, brewing the perfect storm. "You've never seen past his ways."

"I-"

"He kills people, Serena. The last time he went to that bloody village, he slaughtered two children because they'd managed to escape."

My forehead creased just a tad, my eyebrows tilting into the centre of my forehead.

"How do you know about -?"

"I knew but you didn't believe it, did you? Disregarding all of his filthy actions because he apparently loves you." 

"He do-"

"For gods sakes..." Killian rubbed his forehead, turning on his heels and facing his back to me. But he'd left a thought in my mind, lingering, pondering. I could briefly remember the mermaid telling me about that, when I had picked up the blood stained knife and being caught up in the rush of everything ...I'd... My chest tightening, I dropped my gaze back to the ground, subconsciously holding me breath. Was Killian trying to convince me at the last moment...to save me? If I gave in and admitted it all, siding myself with him and the others, it'd guarantee my safety if Pan were to fail.

But he wasn't going to...right? And I couldn't take that risk...how could I betray Pan on mere rumours? But were they rumours? If I could shut off my inside voice, I'd truly take that option. 

My eyes flicked over to Felix and James, almost like a desperate plea for reassurance, for anything. Felix looked away but James returned my stare. The single glimmer in his eyes, the soft expression promised me everything would be okay and to keep holding onto hope. 

But I was wrong. Very wrong. 

We felt a slight tremor in the ground and all our eyes raised, looking upwards and around to see what was happening...or what was about to happen. I held my breath. Any moment now. Pan, please, you can do this. I believe in you. Any...moment - and just like that, a force hued with green hit everyone in the chest like a falling ocean wave. 

"Pan didn't take the deal," Killian mumbled and my mouth started to curve upwards, a relief flooding over me like that very force. I smiled, my breaths shaking and in complete shock. Pan had done it. He'd gotten the heart. 

I could no longer embrace the joy - nor was I destined to in the first place. Killian turned on his heels to face me again and I looked up into his eyes. There was a sorrow to them, an apologetic look that I couldn't understand. But then I did. He unsheathed his sword. 

With a sharp intake of breath, I choked as the weapon plummeted into my stomach. My body froze in shock, the pain hurting for barely a second until it slowly began to fade. I heard the calls of Felix and James, crying out my name as my blank gaze stared up into the pirate's. He yanked out the weapon and I small whimper escaped my lips, the night sky appearing in my vision like stars falling from above. Peter... And this time, he wasn't there to save me. 

I closed my eyes.