White Rose - A Peter Pan Fanfiction

Chapter 25

I had a couple of options but either way, Pan would always be one step ahead of me. I was sure of that. But, neither of us knew for sure this was the case. What if it was Baelfire's son? If I could keep low for a week, wait and see about Baelfire... Pan's the impatient type. If I pushed his waiting limits until then, only to find out I truly am supposed to bear him a son...

I could try and escape the camp - even Neverland itself, but I had a feeling I was underestimating Pan. If he knew about how he faked his 'love', I'd get thrown into a cage without hesitation. I'd instantly become the useless piece of object that would (as much as I hated to think about it) be forced against him.

Killian was back on the island - I could try and find him, then maybe we could work out something together? I could join his gang of pirates or, leading on from my previous idea, he could help me leave this god forsaken place.

But I didn't know what to do. All I wanted to do was to curl up in a ball and wake up from this everlasting nightmare, returning to the life that I had forgotten. I didn't know what to believe - and who to believe - anymore. I felt broken, betrayed, and wanting all of this to be over. I couldn't predict Pan's motives. After all, this entire time, I had been blindly manipulated so how could I expect to know his next move? He's cunning, tactical, and always has a plan, no matter the cost...even if the cost was me. I meant nothing to him at all. I was a mere pawn in his game of chess who had been flown off the chessboard long ago.

I wasn't the queen - I never was, and that viewpoint of mine is the reason why I'm in this situation. I should have listened to Killian and escaped when I had the chance, but alas, I was too stubborn to open my eyes. I had fallen in a perfect illusion of love that was never real.

Before I made a proper decision and started my planning (for whatever was to happen), I decided to actually go and take that bath I was supposed to have. I made my way down to the lake, holding a rag that I used to dry myself and a fresh pair of clothing. The moonlight glittered upon the water, making it seem as the lake was filled with fallen stars. The navy-blue sky and water didn't bring a mood of sadness, but rather of peace and relaxation. Right now, I needed to clear my mind. I'd worry about what was to come later.

I slipped into the water, a smile coming to my face as I felt the coolness overcome the worry from inside of my body. Closing my eyes, I sunk my head beneath the water, breaching my face with a loud gasp and rubbing my hands back through my wet hair. And before I could embrace my time alone any more, I felt what I was dreading: eyes upon me. Slowly turning my body around, I sunk my head and kept my eyes hovering, watching cautiously.

And that's when I saw the green eyes from behind a cloak of darkness. I could briefly see the outline of his body, his posture immaculate as he stood there. I swallowed down the lump in my throat, rising myself slowly but keeping my chest below the water. The breeze was sending chills down my spine, but I kept his gaze. The gaze of Peter Pan.

He didn't approach me and nor did he speak, and I wondered if I was hallucinating - had everything gotten to my head? Was I beginning to go crazy? His chin rose just a tad and he'd blink through the darkness, the thought of me hallucinating slowly fading. Pan was there. There was this unsettling feeling in my stomach - not worry (for once) but...curiosity. Why was he there? Why wasn't he approaching me? What was he doing?

But then his gaze lowered and so did his head, almost as if he was shameful...but for what? And then he disappeared, leaving me alone once again.

+++

After my bath, I headed back to the camp, braiding my wet hair as I walked. When I reached the camp, most of the boys had headed to their tents and only James and Felix remained. I bit my bottom lip, walking into the premise and dropping my rag and clothes beside a tree.

"Where's Pan?" I asked simply; James kept his eyes on the dying fire and Felix was the one to turn his attention towards me, his eyes watching my every move.

"He went out to find you," he replied, a tad confused on the situation. I shrugged and forced a lie.

"I didn't see him," I said bluntly, taking a sigh with closed lips. I quickly wondered if I should head back to my tent, but Pan would notice immediately. He'd know something was up with me - I had to keep things as 'normal' as possible until Baelfire's son...if he had a son. "I'll be in the tent." Felix nodded once and that's when I disappeared into Pan's tent.

And I stopped in my tracks as soon as I took one step inside.

Pan was sitting at the head of the dining table, his leg crooked up against the chair's rim and his body fitting it perfectly. His face was directed to me, staring at me in the eye. I couldn't read his emotions - but I never could. It was all a lie - all of it, but I had to play my part. If he wants to play the game, so shall I.

"Everything alright?" I asked as innocently as I could, but as he turned in his chair to get out, I clenched my jaw; I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying my best to keep calm. I resisted the tears and the anger, but I was failing and the monster could see right through me.

"Everything," he started, walking towards me. When he was right before my frail body, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear but there was a sense of ownership. But he didn't own me and he never had. "Is fine." I smiled, lifting my chin just a tad. His mood dropped for a second before he turned on his heels, hiding his face from my view. "Did you have a nice bath?"

"Yeah, the water was lovely tonight," I said quickly, accepting his change of topic and acting as-expected. But the silence ached, squeezing the air from my lungs. I began chewing on my bottom lip, feeling nauseous from all the worry. I thought the bath would help...

"Serena." His voice was quiet, softer than I thought it would be and I raised my gaze to his back; he refused to turn my way. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed down the dryness in my throat and replied with a simple "yes?"

And then it was quiet again. A small part of me hoped that he would...open up somehow, but I knew he wouldn't. He never would and I had to keep reminding myself of the falsity of his feelings for me.

"I want you to leave the camp."

My breath caught in my throat and my eyebrows twitched in confusion. My bottom lip fell, just like my stomach and soul. What...what was he doing?

"I-I don't understand," I squeaked out and he finally turned around, his expression both filled with anger...and pain.

"I said I want you to leave."

"Peter -"

"Join Killian or roam the island, I don't care, but -"

"Peter -" I tried again, but I instantly regretted it.

"ENOUGH!" he yelled, his fists balling instantly. Clenching my jaw, I tensed my body and forced myself to not cry as silence overcame us once again. Eventually, he took a deep sigh and his fists unravelled themselves, his body slouching just a little bit; he looked exhausted in a way I could never understand. "Don't argue this any further or I might just change my mind, got that?"

I simply nodded and took a deep breath again, refusing to look his way. There were so many questions that I wanted to bombard him with, but I simply couldn't or I could risk being sent to a cage...or worse: the Echo Caves. Still, I wanted at least one answer.

"Peter," I started for the third time, but not in a demanding way. Looking up slowly, I met his tired eyes. "At...at least tell me why."

Rolling back his lips in agitation, he heaved a sigh before closing the gap between us, staring down at me. I watched his throat tighten as he swallowed, but he closed himself off to me, not touching my cheek or doing anything like he used to fake doing.

"Everything I do has a purpose," he repeated those classic words before disappearing from view.