Chapter 12

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Killian, Pan and myself sat in the same boat that we had used the last time we went to the Enchanted Forest. It was dead silent: Killian rowed and Pan sat beside me, his eyes bland as he stared out at the dimly-lit ocean before us. Rain clouds hovered above, threatening to pour down at any moment. Occasionally, thunder would crack and lightning would fill the sky. 

In a blink of an eye, we were in a different ocean and I knew we had successfully left the realm of Neverland, and yet...there was still a storm above. Personally, I found that intriguing. The cold air sent shivers down my spine and I clutched onto my black, hooded cape, my legs closed together.

There was this ache in my chest and with every stroke Killian did, it brought us closer to land, closer to Rumple, closer to his death. The two guys seemed calm and unfazed by it all, and it hurt me to see that dullness in their eyes, their lack of care for a person.

I wanted to speak out, to go against the deal and embrace the innocence Pan admired in me. But I couldn't bring myself to, for reasons even I didn't know.

That was a lie: I knew exactly why.

I couldn't risk losing Pan and if this was the only way, then so be it.

The boat breached the land and we got out, remaining in silence as Killian hoisted the boat to the pier. In the corner of my eye, I saw Pan gaze upon me, his face holding no emotion, and without a word, he turned on his heels and started walking into the village.

I lowered my head, trailing behind the two and listening in to their conversation that had just begun.

"How old is the child?" Pan asked, barely looking to Killian: the two walked with such pride I wondered how they possibly got along.

"Doesn't matter, does it? A heart's a heart."

"You're making me kill my own son for this. You better not be playing me or you'll have hell to pay."

"Have feelings for boy, laddie?" Killian chuckled and keeping his stride, Pan shot him a glare...but Pan never responded. Instead, he changed the subject.

"This Milah you spoke of. How is she affiliated to Rumple?"

Killian paused, surprise clouding his face like the storm above us.

"How...?"

Grinning, Pan answered, "Rumple wouldn't kill the love of your life without reason. Surely you know me by now."

"Yeah, an annoying boy who should keep his nose outta other people's business," Killian grumbled, starting to walk again; Pan followed beside him and I stayed behind in silence, being a wallflower in the moment.

"You didn't answer my question."

"I don't have to."

"Then I'll just have to figure it out on my own, won't I?" Pan kept his grin and I chuckled. I truly did admire how salty Pan could be. Rolling his eyes, Killian ignored him, and for the rest of our walk, it was quiet.

+++

We reached the village around lunchtime, standing by the outskirts and being careful not to be seen. Neither of them had told me what the plan was exactly and to be honest, I didn't think I played a part – I was just being dragged there because, well, Pan and I were a couple. I didn't want to witness Pan murdering his own son, but I had to be. I could tell this would be hard for him, no matter how much he would deny it.

"We'll wait until nightfall," Killian said, talking a gulp of whiskey.

"And why, exactly?"

"It's just easier that way," Killian grumbled, clearly agitated already. I sighed, rolling back my lips as I took my place beside Pan. I wasn't going to say something like "are you sure this is the right thing to do?" because it was the only thing to do. I supposed it didn't matter whether it was right or not.

"You never said how old the child is," I said in a matter-of-fact tone, eying the pirate.

"Does it matter?"

"It does," I replied, tilting my chin slightly upwards. "The sketch is of a boy, not of a baby."

"You get what you get. I saved Pan's life, he takes one for me. The boy is merely a favour on my part," Killian said, confirming my theories about how Pan survived that night. But if his intention was to kill Pan and not the lost boys...then why did he save him? Their relationship – whatever it is – doesn't make any sense to me...

"Let's just get this over and done with, shall we?" I said, looking between the guys. Pan was tense, his jaw clenched and eyes locking anywhere but mine as he leant against the tree. His arms were folded, muscles defined through shadowing. Again, he didn't reply so instead, I placed my hand against his arm, his eyes skimming mine before looking back out into the abyss. I didn't need to speak: he simply needed to know I was by his side and that was enough for me.

"Oh no, laddie, I know exactly how we're going to do this," Killian said, smirking as he reached into his satchel. "You see, the crocodile is quite the catch." Taking a deep breath, I pursed my lips as Killian pulled out...masks.

I glanced to Pan, who looked just as confused as I was.

"We're not here to play games, pirate," he sneered, my lips rolling back. I thought this was supposed to be a quick trip, like ripping out a splinter.

"Might as well enjoy the festivities of the land," Killian said, handing us masks. But they weren't ordinary masks. They were incredibly intricate, uniquely shaped and mine...it had a white rose on the side, oceanic pearls accompanying it.

"A bloody masquerade ball," Pan mumbled angrily. His mark was a dark green and instead of a white rose, it was black.

"Aye," Killian said, smirking at both of us. "Rumplestiltskin plans on attending this ball."

"And that's when you want to kill him," I said, holding the mask in my hands.

"That's when we'll kill him." I had expected Killian to give me that response, but it was Pan. Not only had he confirmed the plan, he had confirmed my involvement. I felt sick and I knew this was wrong, not when we didn't know for sure whether or not Baelfire had the heart. What if he didn't? Rumple's death would have been for nothing and the boy would be left without a father. And so, I lowered my head, my eyes staring at my masquerade mask. I wanted to enjoy the night – there was a part of me that wanted to fall into the shadows and dance the night away with the love of my life, but alas, we were on a mission I hated to accept.

I didn't reply: I didn't feel the need to, and when Killian went on to explaining his plan, I simply zoned out and didn't pay attention.

Whatever fate had planned, I secretly hoped it would make an exception for Rumple's life. 

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