Short Stories Barely Alive (First Draft Edition)

No. 4- Dont Talk About Things You Do Not Understand

No. 4- Dont Talk About Things You Do Not Understand

"NO, NO, NO! I DID NOT SAY THESE PARASITES COULD COME!" The Puppet Master screamed at us. We stood there at the top of the stairs in his toy shop with bags backed for a vacation Lavender invited us on. Apparently, we were all suppose to be going to New Orleans. But some one disagreed with the travel plans.

Lavender folded her arms saying, "you said we were going on a trip to New Orleans. So I invited them. Is it that big of a sin!"

"Yes! Yes it is! I said we! And as in we I me you and me! Not...them." The Puppet Master cried. I took of my sunglasses saying, "geez, don't be a pain in the neck, grandpa! We won't bug you love birds!"

The Puppet Master spun around with fire in his colorful eyes roaring, "DONT EVER CALL ME GRANDPA!"

I snickered saying, "well you knit and I thought calling you grandma might be appropriate, but grandpa just fit." Jasper and the bros laughed as The Puppet Master screamed and stomped in foot on the ground.

Immediately, the motionless voodoo dolls that sat around the room sprang to life, surrounding us. I sighed saying, "not again."

"Archie!" Lavender pouted. "Knock it off! They won't bug us. If you wanted us to have quality time then we can. They just want to go sight seeing and explore around. It's not like they'll be breathing down our necks the whole time."

"That Axe boy sure will. I mean...just look at him," The Puppet Master whispered to Lavender while glancing at Axe, who stared at them deeply. "I'm not sure I want that breathing down my neck."

Lavender looked at Axe, then back at The Puppet Master who stared at the zombie for a seconded. "Archie. It will be okay. I promise. Please, Archie."

The Puppet Master looked down at Lavender who batted her big eyes. He paused then scowled. "Very well." Lavender cheered as The Puppet Master commanded the dolls to go back how they were.

I smiled and said, "sweet! Let's get this vacation on!"

...

"Let's get this vacation over," I scowled at the creepy, broken down ferry boat parked at the edge of a swamp. We were suppose to be staying in that. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to come after all.

The once elegant trim on the bait was crumbling as it's paint slowly pealed off. Moss, mud and sludge plastered the edge of the boat and the rotting boards squeaked from all over the boat. The ferris windows were tinted black or shattered with velvet, ripped curtains decorating the border.

"Isn't it romantic?" The Puppet Master said dreamy as he gazed at the boat in awe. Lavender sighed and said, "remind me to enlighten you on the true definition of romantic later."

"Well this is going to be an interesting vacation" Jasper sighed as we walked up the boats dock were we entered the shabby foyer. A broken chandler dangled over head as the antique furniture sat covered in years worth of dust. It look like it hadn't been used since the 30's.

As I peered up the rickety, old stairs, The Puppet Master lead us into the dining room, with had a long, fine engraved, wooden tables smothered in gray dust.

Just before I was going to say something an old voice made me jump out of my socks. "Archimedes? You here boy!"

Jasper, the barks and I screamed and scrambled back as a boney, old, black lady hobbled into into the room holding onto a wobbly cane with an alligator walking beside her with a diamond collar on.

"What are you doing here! Aren't you suppose to be dead or something?" The Puppet Master frowned. The woman laughed/wheezed when she said, "you kiddin me, boy! When you look like this, you got no time for die'in!"