Chapter 2

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Nick

I hated having any kind of unpleasant words with Demi, but we had two babies & our moms were down the hall, so instead of getting loud or upsetting Demi even more, I rolled over & tried to sleep. It only took me a few minutes to fall asleep because I was exhausted. It was tiring having babies & a million people in the house. Everyday since we'd been home from the hospital, we had a ton of visitors. Some of them were repeats. In fact, most of them were repeats. I knew the novelty of the twins, would wear off, but I couldn't help being selfish & wanting it to wear off sooner rather than later. I wanted time with my family. Maybe it was the fact that I thought for more than a week that I may never see them again & then for an hour I thought I had lost them for good. In any case, I wanted them to myself. I wanted to hold my babies & change their diapers & have them look up at me as I held them. Yea, I was being a selfish prick right now. I couldn't help how I felt.  

I was excited for my grandparents to come the next morning. My grandpa was getting stronger & stronger, but it was still hard for him to travel as much. They wanted to come visit when Demi had come home after her terrifying ordeal, but I skyped with them & told them to wait until the babies had arrived.  

I woke up in the middle of the night when I felt Demi get out of bed to go to one of the twins. I debated on whether to go with her. I heard her mom in the baby monitor go into the room with Demi, so I figured they could have some time together. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, but when I heard Dianna say, "Do you think I don't know when something is bothering you, Demetria?" I opened my eyes to listen. I listened closely, since it was hard to hear either of them as they whispered. Thankfully, the monitor was a pretty good one & picked up voices well.  

I was a little surprised Demi was confiding in her mom right now, since I had told her I wanted our moms to leave, but Dianna actually understood. She even agreed with me. My heart sank when I heard Demi say she was afraid & needed to talk to me. I should have listened more to her earlier & tried to find out why she didn't want them to leave. What the hell was wrong with me? What kind of husband was I right now? I should have known there was a deeper reason for Demi's reaction to my suggestion. I was such an idiot. A self absorbed idiot. I was worried more about how I was feeling. I heard Demi talk about her bipolar & how she hated how it made her have irrational thoughts. God, everyone is capable of irrational thoughts sometimes, bipolar or not. 

I heard Demi say she was afraid of letting me down or losing me. I wanted to run & hug her & tell her she'd never let me down, no matter what. I couldn't tell her for sure that she wouldn't lose me, because none of us know when our time on Earth is done, but I hoped she'd have me around for many many years. I heard her tell her mom to put Mercy in her arms so she could feed them both. I was so proud of her at that moment. She hadn't done that yet. She didn't want to be overwhelmed, so she wanted to get the hang of breastfeeding before she attempted both at the same time. Now she was doing it & I wanted so bad to go watch. I wanted to take a picture. I was ridiculous with the pictures these days. I was always snapping photos of my babies with my phone or the camera we had. I seriously wanted to remember every single moment. I knew how precious life was. 

"My biggest fear is about me & Nick." Demi's voice saying these words brought me out of my thoughts. What was this fear? I listened with bated breath. After some coaxing from her mom, Demi finally responded, "I'm scared he won't be attracted to me anymore because my body is so different. And what he saw happen to it." What the hell? Now I wanted to shake her. I loved her body, then & now & always. I could hear the trembling in her voice, so I knew she was crying. My heart broke as I continued to listen. "I'm scared our marriage will be changed now & mostly I am afraid that with the babies we won't have time for each other & we'll drift apart." Demi's pitiful voice was tugging at my heartstrings. Our marriage would be fine. I would make sure of that. We would never let it get bad. I smiled, listening to Dianna tell Demi how much I loved her & that I would love her body more now. She was so right. I loved Dianna. I wanted to hug her right now. I smiled when they talked about Joe & Dallas being a couple. They probably would have killed each other. 

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