Oblivious

Chapter 17

The room was brightly lit from several angles. Sandra was busy giving orders on camera placement, microphones, and growling at her workers about too many loose cords lying across the floor. "Someone will trip," she muttered again and again while shaking her head.

It seemed serious, a lot more serious than I'd thought the first time I was here. They had also sent Tim back to the changing room for other clothes. Apparently it was par for the course and a standing joke among them. Tom would appear in the tiniest clothes he could find only to dash back while laughter rang through the air.

"Ayden, do you know your lines?" Sandra asked, not looking at him, but at her clipboard.

"Yes."

"Tim, are you prepared?" she continued.

"Yes, Sandra."

I didn't know what to do with myself as everyone started to move around and get into position.

"Boyfriend. You go sit on that chair over there." She didn't look at me, but it was pretty obvious who she meant. She pointed over her shoulder, and I spotted a chair behind everything. From there I wouldn't see much, but at least I wouldn't be in anyone's way.

Sitting down, I tried to relax. It didn't work, but I kept myself distracted by watching the others. Sandra was prepping Ayden and Tim, giving them directions and asking a bunch of questions that made me squirm in my seat. However, they were all asked in a clinical manner, and it helped to solidify the feeling of something professional. This was a shoot, not two lovers meeting in the comfort of their home. Perhaps it wasn't even sex; rather, it was an act.

I was so enraptured by everything that I only realized they were about to begin when Sandra said, "Scene One, Take One, go!"

This was such a stupid idea. Bile rose in my throat as everything seemed to tighten inside my chest.

The cameras were rolling. Tim knocked on the door, Ayden opened and everything began. Damn. My chest ached when Tim flung his arms around Ayden's neck, looking very much in love as he pulled Ayden down for a hungry kiss.

It's an act, it's an act. I repeated the mantra over and over again, but I just seemed to choke on it. It seemed to go on forever. Their lips moved together in a rapid dance and I could just watch and feel how my monster reared its ugly head.

"Cut!" Sandra called out.

Ayden and Tim broke apart.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Ayden, go talk to your boyfriend."

Ayden's gaze found me, and I saw how he paled. No, this wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want him to feel bad. It was just... it felt so real.

Ayden rushed to my side, sitting down in front of me. He took my hands in one of his and let the other one caress my cheek.

"Should we go out for a bit?" he asked.

I got lost in his worried eyes. He sounded so concerned, and I seemed to melt from within from his simple touch.

"No, it's fine. It was just a shock. I'll get over it in a few," I said, softly, so the others wouldn't hear too much. I felt like a weakling. I was supposed to handle this. I had to. I asked for this, and now I had to deal with it. The problem was that I had focused on the actual sex, not on the idea of them kissing. Somehow it felt a lot more intimate.

Tim came up behind Ayden. I hadn't expected that.

"Hey, Cal. For your information, I'm thinking about my boyfriend when I'm doing this. Otherwise, I couldn't have..." He sounded concerned as well. I wondered just how pained I must have looked.